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Greetings

2006-11-07T14:40:00.000-08:00

Thanks for stopping by the Great Star Wars Synchronicity Project, one nerd's attempt to find an album that synchs up with Star Wars in the same way Dark Side of the Moon synchs up with The Wizard of Oz.

Although the GSWSP is not over, regular experimentation has stopped for the time being. This gargantuan waste of time will not officially cease until the album that yields at least sixty synchs with Star Wars (the same number as DSOTM and Oz) is discovered. To date, the album with the most Star Wars synchs is Green Day's American Idiot (standing tall at thirty-five).

If you have any questions, please consult the F.A.Q. Once you're hep to this synch jive, check the Experiment Index to see if any of your favorite albums or artists have been spun in that galaxy far, far away. Thanks again, and may the Force be with you.

An Announcement from James Greene, Jr.

2006-10-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm back, and I have something to tell you. While I was vacationing with my friend John this week, I missed my girlfriend, I missed my computer, but I didn't miss doing experiments for this blog. Now that I've returned, I still don't miss them. I'm not feeling terribly eager to sit down with five albums next week, or the week after that, or the week after that. I guess what I'm trying to say is, after almost a year of doing this, my enthusiasm has faded.

The idea of synchronization still intrigues me, and I do still hope to one day find the album that matches up with Star Wars in more ways than any other; however, I don't want to do this every day anymore. More like every so often, or every once in a while. There are other online endeavors I'd like to pursue. I'm really interested in starting another blog, one that isn't so specified. I'll probably start working on that in the coming days.

No matter what other e-crap I undertake, the GSWSP will definitely stay up and running for a long time. People seem interested, and hey, it's not like it's costing me anything. So, whenever I feel the urge to try some experiments again, or if I acquire an album I've been dying to play with Star Wars, I will do so and update this space accordingly.

Thanks for understanding. I appreciate all your support. May the Force be with you.

The Night Vader Went Crazy

2006-09-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #196
"THE NIGHT VADER WENT CRAZY"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Bad Hair Day by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Contains "Amish Paradise," in which Yank refers to Amish children as "Amettes." I don't know if this is a real term; if Al invented it, than what further proof do we need that he is (as Kurt Cobain famously tagged him) a rock genius?

SYNCHS

- The phrase "won't you come?" in "The Alternative Polka" coincides with a shot of R2-D2 rolling toward Luke and C-3PO after the robot auction.

- Luke complains about being stuck on Tatooine as the line "I think I'm cracking up" is heard in "The Alternative Polka."

- The chorus of "I'm So Sick of You" ("I'm so sick of you") is heard as Luke walks out on his Uncle Owen after their argument.

- Luke is looking at his dead relatives as the line "the body count's rising, and everyone's wondering why, Santa, why?" is heard in "The Night Santa Went Crazy."

NOTES

Vally inteleschting...baht schtoopit!

My friend Chris Shields loves to point out how "Weird Al" isn't really all that weird. Oh, how he loves to needle me with that one.

"Come on, Jim. What's so weird about the accordian? What's so weird about slip on shoes? Nothing! 'Hardware Store,' Jim? Come on! That's not weird!"

Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who toured the east coast simulating an entire rock band with his mouth under the name "Mr. Transylvania." Now that is weird, much weirder than "Fat" or "Eat It" or pretty much anything "Weird Al" has ever done. I'm sure even "Weird Al" himself would admit to that.

However, compared to the average Joe iPod on the street (who most certainly does not simulate entire rock bands with his mouth under nonsensical names), "Weird Al" is, in fact, quite weird. He's weirder than my dad, he's weirder than Joe Namath, and he's weirder than your mailman.

Furthermore, "Weird Al" is just a nickname. Sure, he may not be weird by everyone's standards, but the doubters would also be forced to admit that Andre the Giant was not actually a giant but in reality just a really tall fat guy. In the same vein, the aforementioned Joe Namath has never spent any time onstage in a Broadway production, despite carrying the nickname "Broadway Joe."

I guess the point of this rant is shut up, Chris.

I'm sorry, man, I don't mean to dog you here. I just gotta stick up for my man Al. You'd know how I feel if we were talking about your homeboy Paul Naschy.

I'm taking next week off from the GSWSP because my friend John Piacquadio is comin' into town and he's gonna help me party down. That means no new experiments until October 9th. Sorry, synch nuts. I might post one or two things next week just for the heck of it (stories or news or such). We'll see. I might be too busy drinking liquor out of a coconut shell and wearing oversized novelty sunglasses.

Spatula Death Star

2006-09-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #195
"SPATULA DEATH STAR"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The original motion picture soundtrack to UHF, the hilarious 1989 feature film starring "Weird Al" Yankovic, Kevin McCarthy, Victoria Jackson, and Michael Richards. Al pads out the tunes from his first movie (which is hilarious, by the way) with riffs on R.E.M., Fine Young Cannibals, and the Rolling Stones. Not quite as entertaining as the movie (again, hilarious), but fun nonetheless.

SYNCHS

- The line "pleased to meet you" in "The Hot Rocks Polka" coincides with R2-D2 looking around for the first time at the other weird droids trapped in the sandcrawler.

- The line "I'm just walkin' down the road" in "Generic Blues" coincides with a shot of a small droid rolling slowly past Luke and C-3PO as they discuss R2-D2's whereabouts.

NOTES

The UHF soundtrack closes with Al's classic meandering country ballad "The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota." Yes, that's a real thing, and yes, I've been there. In fact, I'm wearing my souvenir Twine Ball shirt right now (it has an outline of Minnesota behind the phrase "Land of 10,000 Lakes and...LARGEST BALL OF TWINE MADE BY ONE MAN - Darwin, MN"). It's a couple of hours west of Minneapolis, right smack dab in the middle of nowhere. You know where Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt lived in Castaway? It's kind of like that, only with more grass and trees.

All the photos I took while I was there came out kind of crappy, so I won't bother posting them. They don't really convey the majesty of seeing it in person, anyway. That damn thing could kill people if it ever got loose from its pagoda. Yep, if you ever find yourself with some time to kill in the Twin Cities area, I'd highly suggest checking the Twine Ball out. Just be sure to watch out for tractor trailers. Unless you're livestock, they don't stop in those parts. Almost had a replay of that Metallica video out there.

...BOOM!

I Want a New Dewback

2006-09-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #194
"I WANT A NEW DEWBACK"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Dare to Be Stupid, "Weird Al" Yankovic's 1985 offering that boasted "Like A Surgeon," "Girls Just Want to Have Lunch," and the landmark title track. Also includes "Yoda," Al's parody of "Lola" sung from the perspective of Luke Skywalker. Funnier than it sounds.

SYNCHS

- The phrase "I can hear your heartbeat" in "Like A Surgeon" coincides with C-3PO looking up to the ceiling, reacting to the noises he hears coming from outside the Tantive IV.

- R2-D2 is seen rolling away into the desert by himself as the line "well, I heard that you're leaving" is heard in "One More Minute."

- Al inhales sharply at the end of "One More Minute" at the same time the tube sucks R2-D2 up into the sandcrawler.

- The camera is on Luke as the line "I'll be playin' this part 'til I'm old and gray" is heard in "Yoda."

NOTES

The title of this experiment is a play on "I Want A New Duck," which is Al's stinging parody of the Huey Lewis & the News song "I Want A New Drug" (found, obviously, on Dare to Be Stupid). It should be noted that I hate "I Want A New Drug" with a passion so blindingly intense that it prevents me from enjoying any aspect of "I Want A New Duck." I don't know what it is about that song. I guess I just hate ugly white people who musically advocate casual drug use.

Ironically, I have no problem with the indirect "Drug" ripoff song "Ghostbusters." This is probably because:

A) before "Huey Lewis: Behind the Music," I had no idea either song were related (and I probably never would have known had I missed that special, because I really go out of my way to avoid "I Want A New Drug")

B) I love songs about ghosts sung by black men and

C) "Ghostbusters" makes me think of the awesome movie it was written for, Ghostbusters.

Put that in your beaker and ponder its existence, Mr. Wizard.

I got Straight Outta Lynwood yesterday. I'm enjoying it so far. Like all Al albums, there are a couple clunkers, but for the most part it's smooth, enjoyable, giggly sailing. It must be good if I'm playing it indoors (as opposed to just rocking it in the car), breaking my usual aural apartment cocktail of computer hum and muffled neighborly discourse. Oh, and birds, too. The birds in my area like to chirp all night and day. It's like they get paid by the whistle.

Midnight Star Wars

2006-09-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #193
"MIDNIGHT STAR WARS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

"Weird Al" Yankovic in 3-D. The album that made "Weird Al" a household name, thanks to the mega success of "Eat It." Everybody I knew growing up had a copy of this one - from Kevin Ryan, the kid I was friendly with in fourth grade who moved to Massachusetts, to Kevin Greene, my cousin from Massapequa with the feathered mullet. It was omnipresent, like Santa Claus or the threat of nuclear annihilation.

SYNCHS

- The phrase "the big surprise" in "Nature Trail to Hell" coincides with the camera panning across the burnt out Lars homestead to reveal the charred bodies of Owen and Beru.

NOTES

Well, at least I got to listen to In 3-D, one of my top ten favorite albums of all-time.

Oh, the memories that came alive in my head during this experiment: blasting the Yank on my walkman during long car rides through rural New York; my Osh Kosh B'Gosh bed comforter, upon which I would sit and tap my foot when I listened to the Weird One at home; putting on Groucho glasses and my mom's old wig to simulate the "Weird Al" costume kit seen in The Compleat Al; renting The Compleat Al six million times from the video store down the block (they should have just sold it to me); wondering if I would one day "own half of Montana" just like "Jimmy the Geek," the hero in "That Boy Could Dance"; blushing uncontrollably everytime the lyric "I'm a little girl when we make love together" came through my speakers during "Polka on 45."

When I die, someone please make sure I'm buried with my copy of In 3-D. I need to have it on the other side, especially if I end up in H-E-double hockey sticks.

I said that, H-E-double hockey sticks, once in a high school classroom, and none of the kids knew what I was talking about. Hockey, apparently, is a dying art form. On the other hand, this happened in Florida, not exactly ground zero for pucks and ice skates. I just hope Disney gets around to making Mighty Ducks 5 before the youth of America completely replace their faint memories of hockey with knowledge of Fallout Boy and virus protection software.

How I know "Weird Al" and I aren't in the same tax bracket: he paid $500 dollars to see The Phantom Menace before its official release. I can't think of a movie I'd pay that much to see in advance, even if the proceeds went to charity. Maybe Beetlejuice Joins the Foriegn Legion.

Mr. Darth in the Iron Lung

2006-09-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #192
"MR. DARTH IN THE IRON LUNG"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

"Weird Al" Yankovic's self-titled 1983 debut. Features hilarious parodies of Queen, the Knack, and Toni Basil. There's also, of course, a smattering of Al originals, including "I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead," which was my personal anthem in fifth grade. This album is the most accordian-heavy offering in the Yank discography - he even snuck some in on "Buckingham Blues" (which, as the title suggests, is a straightforward blues song...about Prince Charles and Lady Di).

SYNCHS

- The phrase "I'll be movin' on" in "I Love Rocky Road" coincides with the death of the Rebel Darth Vader is choking at the beginning of the film.

- A Jawa shrugs his shoulders after the line "what can I say?" is heard in "The Check's in the Mail."

- Princess Leia's hologram is onscreen as the line "you're beautiful!" is heard in "The Check's in the Mail."

- Luke storms away from the dinner table as the line "you can't make me settle down" is heard in "I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead."

- The phrase "such an awesome sight" in "Such A Groovy Guy" coincides with the shot of the two Banthas through Luke's binoculars.

- Obi-Wan removes his hood for the first time as the line "such a groovy guy" is heard in "Such A Groovy Guy."

NOTES

Fair enough.

I first bought this album on cassette at Caldor. No, it wasn't a Viking theme park; Caldor was the New England equivalent of Kmart. In my hometown, the most devastating barb a kid could throw out was something along the lines of, "Hey Fransen, where'd you get your socks - CALDOR?!" The irony, of course, is that Caldor was about the only moderately priced retailer within twenty miles. I think everybody who grew up there at one time or another had socks from Caldor, or shoes from Caldor, or hats or shirts or skis or boots from Caldor. I don't remember too many kids sashaying around the playground in Versace evening wear.

But I digress. I got "Weird Al" Yankovic (or WAY, as the fans call it) at Caldor, and within two minutes of owning it I managed to smear the insert with snot. I had a cold (I always had a cold). I wiped my nose with my chubby little digits and then proceeded to use those same chubby little digits to get a closer look at the cover photo. A few seconds later, I noticed the light yellow stain I had just made. I was mad (at myself), but not mad enough to shout out, "Jesus Christ!" like I did the time I couldn't get my firefighting G.I. Joe figure assembled fast enough. That got me a stern lecture from Mother.

My agitation eased after hearing "Gotta Boogie," in which Al also faced a mucous-related problem. Am I the only one who finds it odd that "Weird Al" claims to be clean or family-friendly, yet he sings about boogers and decapitation and characters in his videos are always flipping people off? That's not family-friendly. Alright, maybe it's more family-friendly than Gwar, but Al acts like he's the Pat Boone of parody when, in fact, he is more like the Pat Hingle of parody.

Maybe I'm just bitter because I sent him a personal Myspace message and he has yet to reply. What's up, Al? You too busy writing Grammy-winning parodies and raising a daughter and loving your wife and owning a dog to talk to some yahoo in Orlando? Get out of your ivory tower!

Man, I need a job.

Hate Your Droids

2006-09-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #191
"HATE YOUR DROIDS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Hate Your Friends by the Lemonheads. Hey, didn't I just do a Lemonheads album? Yeah, I did, but this one here I actually like. Hate Your Friends has a nice raw flavor. Distorted guitars, low production values...you know, that kind of thing. I also really enjoy all the material co-founding Lemonhead Ben Deily wrote and performed here. Funny, earnest stuff. It's a shame he didn't share that rocket ride to fame and success with Dando.

SYNCHS

- The chorus of "Nothing True" plays as Vader confronts Princess Leia and calls her out on her lies.

- C-3PO is seen walking away from R2-D2 on the surface of Tatooine as the line "now you're doing something different" is heard in "Second Chance."

- The phrase "sneakyville" in "Sneakyville" is heard as the Jawas are seen sneaking around R2-D2 in the canyon.

- The Jawas surround R2-D2 as the line "I once was lost but now am found" is heard in "Amazing Grace."

- The phrase "can't walk so well" coincides with R2-D2 hobbling through the sandcrawler.

- "Fed Up" plays during the scene where Luke expresses his desire to leave the farm and join the Academy.

- Luke looks up into Obi-Wan's eyes for the first time as the line "our eyes collide" is heard in "Ever."

NOTES

You have to laugh at that "eyes collide" thing with Luke and Obi-Wan. Oh, the implied homoeroticism! It's just too much for a Jedi to take.

As I mentioned yesterday, next week is Five Days of Al. "Weird Al," that is. His newest masterpiece, Straight Outta Lynwood, is due to hit shelves this coming Tuesday. What better way to celebrate than to see if any of his older works synch up with Star Wars? I can't think of any.

9/25: "Weird Al" Yankovic
9/26: In 3-D
9/27: Dare to be Stupid
9/28: UHF (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
9/29: Bad Hair Day

Make yourself a Twinkie weiner sandwich and tune in. Me, I'm about to put on a stupid-looking shirt and go bowling with a few slime creatures from outer space. Tell Harvey the Wonder Hamster the check's in the mail.

Across the Dune Sea

2006-09-21T16:50:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #190
"ACROSS THE DUNE SEA"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Pinkerton, Weezer's sophomore effort. Disjointed, moody affair initially perceived as a dud that over time has become more emotionally revered by Generation Y than Pogs or "Duck Tales." I count myself on the sidelines for that particular parade; I've always preferred their 1994 debut, Weezer, to anything else in their catalog.

SYNCHS

- The Tantive IV is shown being sucked up into the open cavity of the Star Destroyer as the line "this is beginning to be serious" is heard in "Getchoo."

- Rebel soldiers are seen falling over, victims of Imperial gunfire, as the line "sometimes you fall and skin your knee" is heard in "Getchoo."

- The chorus of "Getchoo," ("getchoo, uh huh") coincides with numerous Stormtroopers shooting and killing Rebel soldiers.

- The phrase "hello, I'm here" in "El Scorcho" coincides with Princess Leia's hologram appearing.

- Obi-Wan appears as the line "holy moley, wouldn't you know it?" is heard in "Falling For You."

NOTES

I'm really glad I decided to do this album today. Not because of the synchs or because I enjoyed listening to it, but because of an unexpected discovery. When I opened the CD case up to put the disc in the CD player, sitting atop Pinkerton was my long-lost copy of "Weird Al" Yankovic's In 3-D. That made my millennium.

I don't know how it got there, and honestly, I don't really care to know. I'm sure it was my own stupidity and/or absent-mindedness. All I care about is the fact that my entire "Weird Al" collection has been restored, and next week I can carry out my "Five Days of Al" plan here on the GSWSP in honor of the Yank's latest album (Straight Outta Lynwood, droppin' Tuesday, 9/26).

"Weird Al" is God. If you do not accept this, you will go directly to Hell, where all the girls look like Norman Fell and the only thing to eat is unsalted, unbuttered popcorn. Sorry, dinkle-donk, but that's just the way it is!

Out of Step (with the Rebellion)

2006-09-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #189
"OUT OF STEP (WITH THE REBELLION)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Minor Threat's Complete Discography. The only band whose music and lyrics I completely identified with at all times. Unlike, say, Cannibal Corpse. I don't know what it's like to be mummified in barbed wire, but I sure as hell can tell you all about my childhood friends who turned into nightmarish drunks and assholes.

SYNCHS

- The stormtroopers open fire upon the Rebel soldiers with their red lasers as the lines "red, I'm seeing red" are repeatedly heard in "Seeing Red."

- The line "you're always on the move" in "Small Man, Big Mouth" coincides with Vader and his stormtroopers marching through the Tantive IV.

- The lines "don't go alone, go with a friend, you might need him in the end" in "Stand Up" are heard as R2-D2 watches C-3PO walk away from him into the Tatooine desert.

- Princess Leia's hologram in onscreen as the line "girls were girls" is heard in "It Follows."

- R2-D2 is seen hiding in a little alcove as the line "run and hide" is heard in "Look Back and Laugh."

- Princess Leia's hologram is onscreen as the phrase "my little friend" is heard in "Little Friend."

- The "there's no place like home" outro of "Cashing In" coincides with Luke returning to the Lars homestead and discovering that his relatives are dead; it begins as he pulls up in his landspeeder and ends as the film wipes to the Death Star.

- "Good Guys Don't Wear White" starts as the stormtroopers stop Luke and Obi-Wan as they arrive in Mos Eisley.

NOTES

Here's a fact that probably isn't unique to my life: the first band I was ever in covered a Minor Threat song. Which one? "Straight Edge," although our playing was so choppy we should have called it "Rough Edge!" Yuk, yuk.

Man, that was ten years ago! Time flies when you're living in Florida. Seems like just yesterday I was peeling the skin off my fingers trying to learn that song (or any song, for that matter). Now look at me. I'm almost really sorta okay on the guitar! See kids, miracles do happen.

Tatooine D

2006-09-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #188
"TATOOINE D"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Tenacious D's self-titled debut. Acousticomedy duo Jack Black and Kyle Gass expanded their lewd coffeehouse act on this 2001 gem with esteemed guest players like Dave Grohl and Page McConnell. Wasn't sure at first, but now I quietly worship this ridiculous rock n' roll yukfest.

SYNCHS

- "Kielbasa" starts right as the "long time ago" text appears onscreen.

- The slide guitar noise in "Kielbasa" coincides with the camera panning down from the opening crawl.

- The explosion that rocks the Tantive IV occurs at the same moment Jack yells out, "TENACIOUS D TIME!" in "Kielbasa."

- Kyle asks jack if he thinks robots are living among us in "One Note Song" as the camera cuts back and forth between C-3PO and R2-D2.

- The phrase "in the middle of the road" is heard in "Tribute" as Princess Leia and R2-D2 are seen in the middle of the hallway C-3PO is looking down.

- Darth Vader looks the Rebel soldier he's choking square in the eye as the line "look into my eyes, it's easy to see" is heard in "Tribute."

- Jack's spoken interlude about Nasty Man in "Wonderboy" coincides with C-3PO leaning over R2-D2 and talking about which way to go on Tatooine; it actually looks like 3PO is trying to tell an unresponsive R2 all about Nasty Man.

- The line "she's good to go" in "Explosivo" coincides with a Jawa motioning toward C-3PO right before the robot auction.

- Uncle Owen is onscreen as the line "you're too old to rock" is heard in "Dio."

- Jack's angry reaction to Kyle's naysaying in "Inward Singing" begins right after Luke turns away from C-3PO in his room, disappointed that the droid doesn't know any more about the Rebellion; it looks like C-3PO is chewing Luke out for losing interest in what he was saying ("Fuck you! You fuckin' fuck!" and so on).

- Luke and Owen are arguing about Luke's future as the line "talkin' about the road" is repeated at the end of "The Road."

- The "Fuck!" at the end of "Lee" coincides with Luke's angry reaction to R2-D2 having run off on his own.

- Obi-Wan looks at Luke apprehensively when the subject of his father comes up; right at this moment, the line "I got some sour news for you, jack" is heard in "Rock Your Socks" (Obi-Wan eventually tells Luke that Vader killed his dad).

NOTES

This was cooler than inward singing, cock pushups, and the one note song combined.

But you know what's even cooler than that? Lego Star Wars II. I rented it last night and holy crap is it sweet. I'm gonna go play it now in lieu of writing more here or working on my book or looking for a job or putting away the laundry or getting a haircut or trying to improve myself as a person.

Beat 'Em Up (the Rebels)

2006-09-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #187
"BEAT 'EM UP (THE REBELS)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Beat 'Em Up by Iggy Pop. Released in 2001, this was the Igster's ferocious return to rawkanmuthafukkinrowl. Elicited a unanimous refrain from every state in the union: not bad for a guy closing in on sixty. Not bad at all. I'll go on record right here and say that I personally feel Beat 'Em Up is the best record Iggy has made since Raw Power.

SYNCHS

- The phrase "to die" in "L.O.S.T." coincides with a Rebel being shot and dying during the Tantive IV battle.

- "Howl" ends at the same moment the film wipes from C-3PO in the desert to R2-D2 in the canyon.

- The line "rollin' around the field" in "Football" is heard as R2-D2 is seen rolling through the canyon.

- "Football" ends as the film wipes to the stormtroopers in the desert searching for the droids.

- C-3PO is seen trying to convince Uncle Owen to buy him as the phrase "get me out of here" is repeatedly heard in "Savior."

- The line "look what you have done" is heard in "Talking Snake" as Aunt Beru begins talking to Uncle Owen after Luke walks out of their home in a huff.

- The opening line of "The Jerk" ("look, here comes the jerk") coincides with R2-D2 turning his head to watch the three Tusken Raiders (one of whom attacked Luke) walk into his general vicinity.

- Obi-Wan is onscreen in a closeup as the line "my death is certain alright" is heard in "Death is Certain."

- The chorus of "Go For the Throat" ("go for the throat") is heard as Vader Force-chokes Admiral Motti in the Death Star conference room.

- Iggy shouts out "Blood!" after Dr. Evanzan's bloody arm is shown on the floor of the cantina.

- Luke's angry reaction to Han Solo's initial price for the flight to Alderaan coincides with Iggy shouting, "Outburst, outburst, infantile violent outburst!" in "Drink New Blood."

- The car noise at the beginning of "Ugliness" coincides with the shot of the two Star Destroyers chasing the Millennium Falcon.

- The car horn in the middle of "Ugliness" sounds as Obi-Wan feels the destruction of Alderaan while aboard the Millennium Falcon.

NOTES

I had a feeling some stuff would happen with this album. The "go for the throat" thing was incredible, of course. I'm a little upset "Mask" didn't last long enough to synch up with any shots of Vader. I was sincerely hoping for Darth to be onscreen during one of the many instances where Iggy sings, "You're wearin' a MASK!" Ah well. No use crying over missed synchs.

GSWSP on Myspace

2006-09-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

I created a Myspace page for the GSWSP. Check it out:

http://www.myspace.com/gswsp

Now I'll be able to properly pimp this blog out to confused teenage runaways and horny middle aged men. Add it as your friend today and maybe you'll be able to prevent a future "Dateline" investigation from happening!

Wax Ecstatic (to Sell R2-D2)

2006-09-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #186
"WAX ECSTATIC (TO SELL R2-D2)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Wax Ecstatic by Sponge. A forgotten relic of the post-Cobain '90s rock scene. Part of that weird, glitter-meets-grunge subgenre that never really took off. These guys are still plugging away, though. Check out their Myspace page if you don't believe me. They're not rockin' as many feather boas as they used to. That makes me sad.

SYNCHS

- The line "things just aren't going your way" in "Wax Ecstatic (to Sell Angelina)" is heard as Princess Leia is seen being escorted to Darth Vader after her capture.

NOTES

So, do you give up yet? Do you want to know what this week's theme was? Okay, I'll tell you. This week's theme was "Albums I've Been Trying to Get Rid of For Years." They won't sell for a dime on eBay, my friends don't want 'em - I can't even get bums on the street to take 'em!

Since no one guessed correctly, that means no one gets the fabulous prize: all five of these lousy CDs. Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe that's why no one guessed correctly. Maybe word leaked out about the prize. Oh well. Back in the closet you go, CDs!

Next week? Potpourri. It's the opposite of what happened this week; you know the theme, but not the albums. Oh, see how I change it up on you? I'm like Machiavelli. Don't ask me to explain that statement any further, because I can't.

I Think I Can Beat Darth Vader

2006-09-14T16:07:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #185
"I THINK I CAN BEAT DARTH VADER"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

And in this Corner... by D.J. Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince. Includes "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson," a hilarious boast rap that inadvertantly became a call to arms for amateur brawlers everywhere when, less than five months after its release, newcomer Buster Douglas reduced "Iron" Mike to silly putty in a legendary ten round fight in Tokyo. This strange turn of events didn't seem to affect Jazzy Jeff or Will Smith, who continued making mildly popular parent-friendly jamz until Smith's movie career took off.

SYNCHS

- The record scratching noise in the middle of "Then She Bit Me" coincides with the interior shot of the Tantive IV shaking as a result of the Star Destroyer's direct hit.

- The line "they tried to make me go meet my doom" in "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" is heard as Princess Leia is being escorted to Darth Vader.

NOTES

I used to really be into D.J. Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince. I had all their albums, watched "Yo! MTV Raps" constantly to try and catch their videos, and was overjoyed when I discovered the Fresh Prince was getting his own sitcom. Then they put out "Summertime," which I instantly hated. It seemed like a blatant attempt to crack the Top 40 (and it did). Disgusted, I declared Jazz and Will sellouts and started listening to Van Halen. I haven't looked back since.

Come on Feel the Stormtroopers

2006-09-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #184
"COME ON FEEL THE STORMTROOPERS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Come on Feel the Lemonheads by the Lemonheads. Light alternative pop that borders on folk. Never realized crackheads could be so mellow. Yeah, that's right, Evan Dando used to smoke crack. Luckily, he managed to quit before it ruined his career...oh wait, no he didn't.

SYNCHS

- The line "I'll bite my tongue and won't say a word against anyone" in "It's About Time" coincides with Vader choking the Rebel soldier, who won't admit to harboring the stolen Death Star plans.

- The line "have your people contact mine and keep your lawyer on the line" in "It's About Time" is heard as Princess Leia confronts Darth Vader after being captured.

- The weird-looking droid with the big grey eyes is onscreen and looking into the camera as the line "take a look into some big grey eyes" is heard in "Big Gay Heart."

- C-3PO throws his arms up and says, "Don't shoot, don't shoot!" to the Jawa as the phrase "still afraid" is heard in "Big Gay Heart."

- C-3PO is trying to convince Uncle Owen to take him home as the line "please don't break my big gay heart" is heard in "Big Gay Heart."

NOTES

Did you know that A) the Lemonheads have a new album coming out this month and B) the rhythm section consists of Karl Alvarez and Bill Stevenson from the Descendents? Strange but true! What's next, a Big Head Todd & the Monsters reunion with Tesco Vee?

I can't believe it's Wednesday and no one has figured out this week's theme yet. This ain't the riddle of the Sphinx, you know. It ain't even the riddle of Leon Spinks! There's a fabulous prize on the line that isn't battery operated or neon pink, so keep trying!

The Blue Milk Incident?

2006-09-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #183
"THE BLUE MILK INCIDENT?"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The Spaghetti Incident? by Guns n' Roses. The story behind this album's title is far more interesting than the material within (mostly covers of obscure 1970s punk and hard rock songs). Apparently, in one of his many lawsuits against the band, former Guns drummer Steven Adler attempted to prove how cruel the rest of GNR was by claiming they had once eaten an entire plate of spaghetti reserved for him without explanation or apology.

Incredulous over these charges, Axl and Co. decided to respond by naming their next record The Spaghetti Incident?, with a big question mark, as if to say, "WTF?!? LOL." Truly, Adler had been PWND, but he would eventually win a million dollar plus settlement from his former employers.

Yes, really. It should be noted, however, that Matt Sorum, Steve Adler's replacement in GNR, later claimed that this was all hooey, and that The Spaghetti Incident? was actually named after a spaghetti-heavy food fight the band once started.

It's true.

SYNCHS

- Darth Vader's choking victim dies as the phrase "too late" is heard in "New Rose."

- The phrase "got no place to go" in "Raw Power" is heard as Luke complains about being stuck on Tatooine.

NOTES

This just in: Chinese Democracy is never coming out. Ever. Axl's dead, he's been dead for close to seven years now. That cornrowed thing you see parading around New York and L.A. these days is a professional lookalike Slash hired for his own amusement. He's rich, he can do that sort of thing. The new GNR? All robots. Come on, do you think Tommy Stinson would honestly agree to play in Guns n' Roses? He keeps quiet because he thinks it's funny. They all do. The "new" GNR songs you've heard floating around the Internet were written and recorded by Third Eye Blind with a rotating cast of metal session musicians.

I'm telling you, it's all a ruse. Chinese Democracy was never real. Total Spinal Tap. It's the greatest prank anyone in rock has ever played. I only know about it because my landlord used to be Slash's guitar tech when he was in the Snakepit. That's when it all began. Why would I make this shit up? I'm telling you. Axl died of food poisoning after trying to prepare his own blowfish. Poke around the Internet a little, you'll find the proof.

It should be obvious unemployment is destroying my mind.

C-3PO Pie

2006-09-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #182
"C-3PO PIE"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Cherry Pie by Warrant. Although Jani Lane recently expressed a mountain of regret for authoring the immensely popular and totally vapid title track from this album, deep down inside he must know that it saved Warrant from being remembered as just another poor man's Aerosmith. I mean, come on, take "Cherry Pie" and its too-stupid-to-be-real fun away and whaddya got? "Love in Stereo?" "Song and Dance Man?" No stripper's gonna dance to that crap when she can spend her dime on "Ragdoll."

Wake up, Jani. There's no shame in being "the 'Cherry Pie' guy." Would you rather be "the hamster fucking guy" or "the toe where my nose should be guy?" Take some time to yourself and think about it. I'm sure hamster fucker and toe nose would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

SYNCHS

- The line "I know a secret that I just can't tell" in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" coincides with R2-D2 rolling past C-3PO after receiving the Death Star plans from Princess Leia.

- Darth Vader crushes his choking victim's neck right as the drums drop out in the middle of "Uncle Tom's Cabin."

- Darth Vader jerks his arm, signaling for Princess Leia to be taken away, just as the heavy guitars kick in in "I Saw Red."

- Darth Vader is onscreen as the line "I don't need to see his face" is heard in "I Saw Red."

- The line "I'm sure I'll be fine" in "I Saw Red" is heard as C-3PO is seen walking away from R2-D2 into the Tatooine desert.

- The camera is on R2-D2, who is watching C-3PO walk away, as the line "never thought it would end like this" is heard in "I Saw Red."

- Jani Lane lets out an emotional "oooh!" during "Love in Stereo" that coincides with C-3PO exclaiming how much he's going to enjoy the oil bath he's being lowered into.

- The line "I'll be okay as soon as I'm on my way" in "Song and Dance Man" is heard as Luke is seen walking outside the Lars homestead after the argument with his uncle.

NOTES

This experiment tasted so good it made a grown man cry. Interesting side note: Cherry Pie was released on this very day sixteen years ago. I totally did not plan that (despite what you may think).

The OUT DVDs come out tomorrow. Still not buying them. Still resent the fact this "for the fans" release is bundled with the 2004 Frankenversions. Still frustrated they didn't cancel it and take Robert Harris up on his restoration offer. Have heard rumors about the 2007 six film set possibly including restored, anamorphic OUT prints. Will hang on to my VHS tapes and wait to see how that plays out. Will also continue to communicate in sentence fragments when discussing this issue.

Not one of you has guessed correctly yet as to what all the albums this week have in common. Come on, think! It's not that hard. Remember, the winner of this dumb little contest gets an awesome prize that I can guarantee you is not a copy of Burt Ward's autobiography My Life in Tights. Scout's honor!

Riddle Me This

2006-09-10T14:21:00.000-07:00

Correctly guess this week's theme and win a special prize that is also a mystery.

9/11: Warrant - Cherry Pie
9/12: Guns n' Roses - The Spaghetti Incident?
9/13: Lemonheads - Come on Feel the Lemonheads
9/14: D.J. Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince - And in this Corner...
9/15: Sponge - Wax Estatic

??????????

Tatooine City Dream

2006-09-08T02:16:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #181
"TATOOINE CITY DREAM"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Television City Dream by Screeching Weasel. A fairly solid release noted for its blinding, garish cover. It's a diagram of some sort, I think. Could be one of those posters from the mall that you stare at until your eyes cross and you see a horse. Here, look at with me for a minute:

AHHH, MY EYES ARE SQUIRTING BLOOD!!!!

SYNCHS

- Darth Vader is onscreen for the first time as the line "they can't tell you what to do" is heard in "Dummy Up."

- The line "keep it zipped when they ask for the microfilm" in "Dummy Up" is heard as we see R2-D2 rolling away from his meeting spot with Princess Leia, where she gave him the secret Death Star plans.

NOTES

Jesus, I'm going to have to go to the doctor. You're lucky I'm not a litigious man, Ben Weasel. Otherwise I'd sue you and your album cover for breaking my eyes.

Kill the Cantina Band

2006-09-07T21:43:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #180
"KILL THE CANTINA BAND"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Kill the Musicians, a collection of demos, b-sides, and live tracks from Screeching Weasel. Dropped in '95, one year after the Weaze broke up for the first time. Or was it the second? Man, they broke up so many times it's easy to loose track. They broke up for real, no do-overs, no take-backs, in 2001...although they did play a show in their hometown of Chicago in 2004, so who the hell knows. Guess it won't be over for sure until Ben Weasel dies.

SYNCHS

- The word "up" in "Punkhouse" coincides with C-3PO looking up at the ceiling of the Tantive IV.

- The phrase "why don't you go away?" is repeatedly heard in "Fathead" as the stormtroopers invade and attack the Rebels aboard the Tantive IV.

- The phrase "I think we're alone now" in "I Think We're Alone Now" coincides with the first shot of the droids stranded alone in the Tatooine desert.

- The line "there doesn't seem to be anyone around" in "I Think We're Alone Now" coincides with the slow pan across the empty Tatooine desert.

- "Something Wrong" starts as the droids separate in the Tatooine desert.

- C-3PO is seen wandering through the Tatooine desert alone as the phrase "through nowhereland" is heard in "Something Wrong."

- The maudlin beginning of "I Wanna Be a Homosexual" plays as R2-D2 is sucked up into the sandcrawler and continues as he wakes up inside and takes in the drab surroundings (the depressing nature of the music just seems to fit this scene well).

- C-3PO is onscreen as the chorus of "I Wanna Be a Homosexual" ("I wanna be a homosexual") is heard (I shouldn't have to explain to you why this is interesting/funny).

- A group of Jawas runs behind the wheel of the sandcrawler in what appears to be fear as the line "she's giving me the creeps" is heard in "She's Giving Me the Creeps."

- Luke is sitting at the table, eating with his relatives, as the line "my future don't look too promising" is heard in "Celena."

- Uncle Owen tells Luke to take the droids to Anchorhead to have their memories erased as the line "she continues right on nagging me" is heard in "Celena."

- The line "Celena's leaving me" in "Celena" coincides with Luke walking out on his relatives.

- Princess Leia's hologram is onscreen as the line "Judy is a runt" is heard in "Judy is a Punk."

- The line "why don't you stop?" in "Soap Opera" coincides with Obi-Wan using the Jedi mind trick on the stormtrooper in Mos Eisley to get him to stop interrogating Luke about the droids.

- The line "why won't you die?" in "Stab Stab Stab" coincides with Obi-Wan slicing into Dr. Evanzan with his lightsaber in the cantina.

- The emphasized chord at the end of "Around on You" coincides with the little training ball zapping Luke on the leg.

- Luke shuts his lightsaber off as the phrase "good-bye to you" is heard in "Good-bye to You."

- The phrase "don't understand" in "Veronica Hates Me" coincides with Han looking perplexed as to why his ship is getting nailed by pieces of Alderaan.

NOTES

Eighteen...and I don't know what I want! Sorry, couldn't resist. Welp, if ol' Ben Weasel had any kind of contact info on his blog, I'd mail him about this. Seems like something he might have a passing interest in. Maybe someone will tip him off. Hey, with this here Internet, you never know just what the frig is gonna happen!

The same could be said for our beautiful non-cyber world. Case in point: I lost my job today. Canned, terminated, PLAY DOH. Apparently it was a decision my boss "struggled with" because there had been so much "positive feedback" about my performance from my immediate supervisors. However, the company had the "opportunity" to "bring someone on" with "more experience," so I was "tossed out" on my "ass" like "the bear claw that's been sitting on the event table for three weeks."

That last bit was an inside joke for all my former co-workers. Thanks for the memories. Miss ya already.

So it's back to sleeping until noon and checking the mail in my underwear, at least for now. The good news is I'll have plenty of time to scour the area libraries for albums to use here on the GSWSP. Yep, just me and the homeless guys, wandering through the library at two o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon. Can't wait.

Alderaan For a New Tomorrow

2006-09-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #179
"ALDERAAN FOR A NEW TOMORROW"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Anthem For a New Tomorrow by Screeching Weasel. A concept album that explores one man's psychosis following a series of failed relationships. This is the Weasel at their peak. Set the standard for all pop punk to follow, though none of it was ever this satisfying again. Sorry, Dr. Frank. In this critic's eyes, you are Chachi to Ben Weasel's Fonzie.

SYNCHS

- The droids are seen scurrying through the corridor of the Tantive IV while it's under attack as the phrase "I'm in my own world and it's falling apart" is heard repeatedly in "Falling Apart."

- Rebel soldiers are seen running away from stormtroopers who are attacking them as the line "everything around me is turning to shit and I don't know what to do" is heard in "Rubber Room."

- C-3PO kicks R2-D2 as the line "there's something vapid inside of you" is heard in "Peter Brady."

- The line "I am a robot" in "I, Robot" coincides with a shot of R2-D2.

- Luke is seen walking up to his Uncle, about to protest cleaning the droids because he has plans to visit the Toschi Station, as the line "you're not aware of all my plans" is heard in "Totally."

NOTES

I wrote a haiku about this experiment:

it did not synch well
the pain, the horror, the pain
five dollar voucher.

I didn't say it was a good haiku.

Star Destroyer Fantasy

2006-09-05T17:27:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #178
"STAR DESTROYER FANTASY"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Screeching Weasel's Boogadaboogadaboogada! Angry, sneering party punk. Includes classic youth rants such as "I Hate Led Zeppelin," "I Wanna Be Naked," and "Mad at the Paperboy." Hard to believe this is real. Seems like it should be a running gag from one of those movies Kirk Cameron made in the 1980s (you know, before he got all Jesusy).

MOVIE DAD: Who are you going to see? The Screaming Weasel? What's the album called? Biggitybiggityboo?

KIRK CAMERON: [EXASPERATED] It's SCREECHING WEASEL, Dad, and they're going to be bigger than the Beatles!! So can I borrow your car? I promised Cindy I'd take her to the cnocert!

MOVIE DAD: You'd better not get her pregnant!

KIRK: Oh, Dad!

[NUCLEAR EXPLOSION; ALL CHARACTERS DIE]

SYNCHS

- Luke is onscreen as the line "the sun's gonna shine on you" is heard in "Sunshine."

- The Tusken Raider is beating up on Luke with his gaffi stick as the phrase "I love to hate you" is heard in "I Love to Hate."

- The flying saucer effects before "I Believe in UFOs" coincide with a shot of a lone Star Destroyer flying towards the Death Star.

NOTES

Since I can't think of anything witty or astute to say here today, I'll give you a link to Ben Weasel's blog. It's an interesting read, even if you aren't a SW/pop punk fanatic. For serious. Layout's nice, too. Mmmm, I think I wanna get in that blog's pants.

Clock Strikes Ten Parsecs

2006-09-01T18:24:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #177
"CLOCK STRIKES TEN PARSECS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Disc two of Cheap Trick At Budokan: the Complete Concert, featuring the Trick's biggest hit ever, "I Want You To Want Me." According to das liner notes, the band had retired this song from their live set way before Budokan. Rick and the boys decided to whip it out at this concert, though, because they knew their Japanese fans really liked it. Best set list decision they ever made. It probably paid for all their houses.

SYNCHS

- "Need Your Love" gets faster as Darth Vader makes his grand first entrance.

- The crowd at Budokan cheers loudly as Princess Leia creeps out from the bowels of the Tantive IV to eye the stormtroopers looking for her.

- The line "I'll take real good care of you" in "High Roller" coincides with the Jawas picking up R2-D2 to carry him to the sandcrawler.

- The first lines of "I Want You To Want Me" ("I want you to want me, I need you to need me") coincide with C-3PO trying to convince Uncle Owen to buy him.

- "Goodnight" starts as Luke gets up and leaves the dinner table after his argument with Uncle Owen.

NOTES

Not so hot, but the "I Want You To Want Me" synch is tight. It's tight, it's bomb, it's the chick's dick. Yeah, I drop slang that don't even make sense. Jealous?

Three day weekend, WHOOOOO!! That means four day week next week. Perfect opportunity to do Screeching Weasel...'cause I only have four of their albums! Nyuk, nyuk!

9/05: Boogadaboogadaboogada!
9/06: Anthem for a New Tomorrow
9/07: Kill the Musicians
9/08: Television City Dream

Have a gravy Labor Day. Watch out for killer bees. They're here, and according to the Discovery Channel, they're pissed.

(Vader's) At Budokan

2006-08-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #176
"(VADER'S) AT BUDOKAN"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Disc one of Cheap Trick At Budokan: the Complete Concert. More or less the gold standard of live albums, right? Thank God they put out this extended version, 'cause the original nine tunes just weren't enough. All hail the Trick.

SYNCHS

- The phrase "little girl" in "Come On, Come On" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The moody, dark part of "Downed" coincides with Luke and Owen's argument about Luke's future.

NOTES

For the eight thousandth time: At Budokan? More like Not At Synchokan! Ha cha cha!

I went to high school with a kid who held Rick Nielsen's five-necked guitar once. True story.

I Love Livin' on the Death Star

2006-08-30T02:13:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #175
"I LOVE LIVIN' ON THE DEATH STAR"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Live...For the Record by Fear. 1986 concert from punk's infamous button-pushers, recorded for some radio broadcast and released on CD in 1991. The usual naughty language is danced around (a slight disappointment since no one delivers obscenities quite like singer Lee Ving), but musically the band is in top form. If I were stranded on Ellis Island and could only have one Fear album uploaded to my iPod, this would be it.

SYNCHS

- R2-D2 falls over in the canyon, a victim of the Jawa's blaster, right after the line "trip and fall at their house" is heard in "What Are Friends For?"

- "Welcome to the Dust Ward" starts as the Jawas are seen hauling R2-D2 to the sandcrawler.

- R2-D2 is seen hobbling through the interior of the sandcrawler as the line "I'm in the dust ward" is repeatedly heard in "Welcome to the Dust Ward."

- The line "you're gonna die before your time has come" in "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" coincides with R5-D4 exploding as he rolls toward Luke.

- The chorus of "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" is heard as Luke complains about being stuck on Tatooine to C-3PO.

- One member of Fear is heard saying, "You have to see it to believe it" between songs as Luke looks in amazement at the ignited lightsaber.

- The line "let's have a war" in "Let's Have a War" coincides with Vader Force-choking Admiral Motti in the Death Star conference room after he questions the Dark Lord of the Sith's powers and abilities.

NOTES

More than I expected to get with this one. Not much else I can say other than ONETWOTHREEFOUR, ONETWOTHREEFOUR!

GSWSP Article from Starwars.com

2006-08-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I was right. The Star Wars Insider online supplement is in the "Hyperspace" section of Starwars.com, meaning unless you're a paying member, you can't have a look at the article about the GSWSP. That's okay, though, because I have the whole thing right here. The author of the article, Bonnie Burton, was kind enough to e-mail it to me shortly after it went up. Thanks again, Bonnie!

Although I thought what they were going to post would be more along the lines of the raw interview (what follows is really just an extended version of the print article), I'd be a fool to complain. This is the most attention my little blog has ever received. I feel quite honored to grace the pages of Star Wars Insider AND the virtual pages of Starwars.com. Scroll down and dig on it already...

---

The Dark Side of the Death Star: More Synchronicity
August 28, 2006
By Bonnie Burton

Imagine if John Williams' epic score as the saga's music soundtrack was replaced with your favorite records. Would Metallica's heavy guitar riffs add intensity to Luke and Darth Vader's exciting duel? Or perhaps dialog between C-3PO and R2-D2 would oddly make sense when backed by rap lyrics from Public Enemy?

This isn't a brand new experiment concept. In 1994, some Pink Floyd fans created a similar experiment called "Dark Side of the Rainbow" in which they would simultaneously play Pink Floyd's album The Dark Side of the Moon while watching the film The Wizard of Oz to see if certain film scenes and song lyrics link up.

Florida fan James Greene, Jr. came up with the idea after he heard about another fan who was watching all six Star Wars movies at once while documenting the few strange little coincidences throughout. "Naturally, this reminded me of the whole 'Dark Side of the Rainbow' thing," Greene says. "So I started to wonder about the possibility of there being an album out there that synchs up with Star Wars in the same way. The first album I ever tried -- White Zombie's La Sexorcisto -- yielded about 20 moments of synchronicity. That's not many compared to the 60 you get with Dark Side and Oz, but it was enough to get me excited. After I told a friend of mine about my experiment he remarked somewhat cynically that almost any album would probably synch up with Star Wars, and suggested I devote an entire blog to my synchronization tests. It sounded like a great idea to me, so I did it."

Even though all the films in the saga are fair game for the Synchronicity Project, Greene enjoys testing the possibilities of the original trilogy the most. "The movies I'm most excited about using are the original three -- A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi -- because I think they're the ones that the general public are most familiar with," Greene says. "Plus, they're the movies that I love most. For the project I'm using the unaltered versions -- the 1995 THX 'Faces' set, to be exact."

Since late last year, Greene has tested albums by Beastie Boys, Green Day, Blondie, Bad Religion, Meat Loaf, The Damned, Dr. Dre, Aerosmith, Nirvana, Public Enemy, and of course, Pink Floyd. After each test, he details exactly where the albums synch up with various film scenes, and explains why certain albums seem to work better than others, on his blog.

"The record with the most interesting synchs to date is Green Day's American Idiot with A New Hope," Greene says. "There are 35 total! I'm not really sure why that worked out so well, other than maybe the fact that it's a rock opera with lots of short little songs-within-songs and quick tempo shifts."

Greene also tests other movie soundtracks against the films including Ghostbusters, Cable Guy, Lost Highway, Less Than Zero and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. "The Ghostbusters soundtrack worked best with A New Hope probably because there's just a good mix of styles including orchestral stuff, old time rock n' roll and cheesy '80s ballads, not to mention the movie's famous title song," Greene explains. "Interestingly enough the line 'I know it's worth it all to spend my life with you' is heard in 'I Can Wait Forever' as C-3PO and R2-D2 are conversing onscreen. It reminded me how much the two act like an elderly married couple."

However, not all the musical experiments are a whopping success. "Oh, there are tons of flops," Greene laughs. "Any album with lots of love songs like Blondie's Greatest Hits with Empire never works because there aren't many lovey-dovey moments. Hardcore punk records are usually too short and fast as well. I tried the Led Zeppelin box set which ended up being a wash. Extensive guitar solos don't translate well to synchronicity."

For those fans wanting to try to synch their favorite albums, Greene offers a few tips. "I generally hit play twice real quick on the CD player to pause the CD before the music starts," Greene suggests. "Then right after the second drum roll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare, I unpause the CD player. I do that so there isn't that brief lag between hitting 'play' and the start of the CD. Also try to use albums that you think will have a greater propensity for synchronization. And be sure to go to the bathroom before you sit down with a 70-minute CD. That can be torture."

To read more about the latest experiments, visit the Star Wars Synchronicity Project blog here: http://starwarssynch.blogspot.com

Them Bones (Are Uncle Owen)

2006-08-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #174
"THEM BONES (ARE UNCLE OWEN)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Live, the 2000 "in concert" release from Alice in Chains that actually consists of material from several different time periods. Notable for the ultra-rare track "Queen of the Rodeo," which isn't that ultra-rare anymore as it's on this CD and the AIC box set Music Bank. It used to be ultra-rare, though. Ultramega-rare, okay?

SYNCHS

- Layne's distorted vocals in the middle of "Bleed the Freak" begin right before C-3PO and the Rebels aboard the Tantive IV look up to the ceiling; it's almost as if they can hear Layne's weird mumblings.

- The stormtroopers are searching for Princess Leia as the line "I think there might be one right over there" is heard in "Queen of the Rodeo."

- Princess Leia is being lead to Darth Vader as the phrase "queen of the rodeo" is heard in "Queen of the Rodeo."

- "Man in the Box" starts right after R2-D2 (the man) is sucked up into the sandcrawler (the box).

- The phrase "sweet little angel" in "Love, Hate, Love" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The Tusken Raider pops up and attacks Luke as the line "yeah, they come to snuff the rooster" is heard in "Rooster."

- Obi-Wan is onscreen as the phrase "my master" is heard in "Would?"

- Luke is listening to Obi-Wan talk about his father as the phrase "teach thee on child" is heard in "Would?"

- The phrase "you, you are so special" in "Dirt" coincides with Obi-Wan wielding his lightsaber in the cantina after slicing Dr. Evanzan's arm off.

- The shooting of Greedo coincides with the line "gonna end up a big ol' pile of them bones" in "Them Bones."

- The Millennium Falcon enters hyperspace at the same exact moment "Again" starts.

- Alderaan blows up at the same exact moment the beat drops out for the first time in "Again."

- During the part where Luke gets zapped by the little training ball because he has his blast shield down, the line "oh Lord, this is a test" is heard in "A Little Bitter."

NOTES

That "snuff the rooster"/Tusken Raider synch also occurred during the first Alice in Chains experiment I did. Crazy, huh? What makes it even kookier is I think it's the same version of "Rooster" on both CDs. Come on, Jerry, you couldn't dig out a different take of your brooding Vietnam Vet reflection epic for Live? Jeez, talk about lazy.

Surprisingly, this isn't the first time this has happened - the same exact synch on two different albums, that is. The first instance I noted with another Seattle grunge powerhouse: Nirvana. On both Nevermind and From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah, R2-D2 hobbles toward Luke and 3PO after the robot auction during the part in "Lithium" where Kurt sings, "I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends." Weird.

Another strange coincidence: I really can't stand "Rooster" or "Lithium." Seriously. They have to be my least favorite Alice in Chains and Nirvana songs, respectively. You know what this means, right? I'm gonna hafta go buy a Pearl Jam album and a few of their gazillion "official bootlegs" to see if anything synchs the same with songs I don't like there.

Did that last sentence make sense? Probably not, but who cares? I've got the day off from work tomorrow thanks to Ernesto (the tropical storm, not the kid from ninth grade who would always pick on me despite his own numerous shortcomings) and I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna lay around in bed all day and pretend I'm K-Fed. Sport the slanted hat, the wifebeater, call a few people to defend my MC skills, and wonder aloud when "the damn wife" plans on popping out "our latest bizzundle of jizzoy." It's gonna be hawsome.

Rockaway Bantha

2006-08-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #173
"ROCKAWAY BANTHA"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

It's Alive by the Ramones. Classic double live album recorded on New Year's Eve, 1977, released in the U.K. in 1979 and not in America until 1995. The definitive Ramones concert experience. The only thing missing is a tube of Carbona.

SYNCHS

- The first chord that Johnny hits to soundcheck his guitar coincides with the appearance of the "long time ago" text.

- Darth Vader and the stormtroopers guarding him start marching through the Tantive IV as the first "hey ho, let's go" is heard in "Blitzkrieg Bop."

- The phrase "I wanna be well" is heard in "I Wanna Be Well" as R2-D2 hobbles toward the escape pod during the Tantive IV battle; C-3PO is seen getting into the pod moments later as the phrase is heard again.

- The star destroyer is seen leaving the general Tatooine area as Joey shouts, "Glad ta see ya go!" right before "Glad to See You Go."

- The chorus of "Glad to See You Go" ("glad to see you go, go, go, go, good-bye") is heard as the droids fight and separate on the surface of Tatooine.

- C-3PO is seen walking alone in the desert, cursing R2-D2, as the line "I was really sick, losing my mind" is heard in "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment."

- R2-D2 is shot and electrocuted by the Jawa as the guitar rings out at the end of "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment."

- The line "you jumped out, knocked her off her feet" in "You're Gonna Kill That Girl" coincides with R2-D2 falling over after the Jawa jumps out and shoots him.

- The line "the kids are all hopped up and ready to go" in "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" coincides with the Jawas running around before the auction, preparing their wares for sale.

- The chorus of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" ("Texas chainsaw massacre") is heard as Obi-Wan and Luke survey the site of the Jawa massacre.

- The first verse of "Now I Wanna Be a Good Boy" ("now I wanna be a good boy, I don't wanna be bad, now I wanna be on my own, now I wanna be sad alone") coincides with Luke telling Obi-Wan he wants to leave Tatooine and become a Jedi knight.

- The cantina band moves in time with "Judy is a Punk."

- The phrase "can't stop that girl, there she goes again" in "Suzy is a Headbanger" coincides with Dr. Evanzan trying his hardest to pick a fight with Luke in the cantina.

- The phrase "gonna give her a great big kiss" in "Oh Oh I Love Her So" coincides with Han reaching for his gun during his chat with Greedo (he gives Greedo a great big kiss, alright...with his blaster!).

- "We're a Happy Family" plays as Obi-Wan, Luke, Han, Chewbacca, and the droids board the Millennium Falcon and leave Mos Eisley, marking the beginning of their ersatz family.

NOTES

Fifteen, that's pretty keen! I love that "Now I Wanna Be a Good Boy" synch. Talk about perfection. Made the whole experiment for me.

What would have been really awesome is if the Star Wars logo popped up at the same exact moment the Ramones launched into their first song, "Rockaway Beach." Sadly, that was a few seconds off.

Well, this has put me in a Ramonesy mood. Think I'm gonna go break out the leather jacket and have some chicken vindaloo. Gabba gabba hey!

The GSWSP in Concert

2006-08-27T12:23:00.000-07:00

This week I'm gonna turn it up to eleven and do all live albums. Are you ready to rock? I hope so.

8/28: Ramones - It's Alive
8/29: Alice in Chains - Live
8/30: Fear - Live...For the Record
8/31: Cheap Trick - At Budokan: the Complete Concert (Disc 1)
9/01: Cheap Trick - At Budokan: the Complete Concert (Disc 2)

Speaking of live, I don't know what the hell's up with my interview on Starwars.com. I think it's in "Hyperspace," the pay section of the site. That's kinda of lame. Lemme do some checking and I'll get back to you. Like I said before, if you can't check it out over there without a credit card, I'll just post it here. 'Nuff said.

September Gonks

2006-08-25T18:35:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #172
"SEPTEMBER GONKS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Radio City, allegedly crucial power pop release from Big Star. It's alright, I guess. People have been trying to sell me on this band for years. Finally sitting down and listening to this album was more anticlimactic than, uh, well, The Phantom Menace! Okay, that's a lie. I knew The Phantom Menace was going to be bad before I even saw it.

SYNCHS

- C-3PO is turning around in a circle looking for R2-D2 as the line "tryin' to see you" is heard in "O My Soul."

- The line "don't like to see your face" in "Life is White" coincides with Darth Vader choking that Rebel soldier.

- The line "why don't you come back" in "Way Out West" coincides with C-3PO walking toward R2-D2, who is starting to go in the opposite direction, on the surface of Tatooine.

- "What's Going Ahn" starts as the Jawas begin spying on R2-D2 in the canyon.

- The phrase "oh goodbye" in "What's Going Ahn" is heard as R2-D2 is shot by the Jawa.

- The line "so I moan" in "Mod Lang" coincides with Luke's whine about going to the Toschi Station.

- Luke is complaining about never getting off of Tatooine as the line "how long can this go on?" is heard in "Mod Lang."

- Princess Leia's hologram appears in Obi-Wan's hut as the line "finest girl in the world" is heard in "I'm in Love with a Girl."

- Luke is seen staring at Leia's hologram as the phrase "I didn't know" is heard in "I'm in Love with a Girl" (i.e. he didn't know that hot babe was his sister!).

NOTES

Yeah, nine synchs, Big Star, Alex Chilton, genius, Greedo, whatever. There are more important issues at hand.

I'd like to observe a moment of silence for Pluto right now, which lost its planetary status yesterday after seventy-six years.

...

I think the following video best sums up how we, the people of Earth, feel now that we live in an eight planet solar system:

I know that's how I feel.

Pluto, I don't care about your eccentric orbit or your oversized moon. You'll always be the ninth planet in my heart. Daddy loves you, yes he does. Now go on and git before you make me cry, you trans-Neptunian rascal, you!

So Says Darth

2006-08-24T19:40:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #171
"SO SAYS DARTH"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Chutes Too Narrow by the Shins, the quirky New Mexico band that Zach Braff is totally into. I mean totally. I mean they totally changed his life, if we're to believe any of the dialogue in Garden State.

SYNCHS

- The line "it gets worse everytime we talk" in "Turn a Square" is heard as Luke and Owen begin discussing Luke's future.

- The line "forget about it, girl" in "Turn a Square" is heard as Owen tells Luke he has to stay on the farm for harvest.

- Luke is staring at the twin sunset after his argument with Owen as the line "I can't just stay the course" is heard in "Turn a Square."

NOTES

Chutes Too Narrow? More like Synchs Too Little! Am I right? AM I RIGHT?!?!?!

Drew Manning: thank you for your kind words about the GSWSP and your interesting theories about synchronization. I don't have any plans to mess around with the prequels as I'm not a big a fan of them and don't really care if anything synchs up with them, but that might change. I never used to drink coffee, and now I can't get through the week without it!

Talkin' 'Bout the Smiling Death Star Immortality Blues

2006-08-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #170
"TALKIN' 'BOUT THE SMILING DEATH STAR IMMORTALITY BLUES"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Hit to Death in the Future Head by the Flaming Lips. Their major label debut. Not the one with "She Don't Use Jelly." This is the one before the one with "She Don't Use Jelly."

SYNCHS

- "Hit Me Like You Did the First Time" fades out as the escape pod carrying the droids is seen descending upon Tatooine (it looks kind of like the pod is making the same noise the guitar is making during the fade out).

- The phrase "felt the burn" in "Felt Good to Burn" coincides with the sparks that are seen when the Jawa applies the restraining bolt to R2-D2.

NOTES

Disappointing. I had my hopes up that something really wild would happen. This is the Flaming Lips, after all. No dice. Well, they have other records, I suppose.

The Remainder of Ed Doyle Week

2006-08-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

8/24: The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
8/25: Big Star - Radio City

Word to Pete LaCock.

Under the Wheel (of the Sandcrawler)

2006-08-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #169
"UNDER THE WHEEL (OF THE SANDCRAWLER)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Mental Notes by Split Enz. More prog rock, this time from New Zealand. What set the Enz apart from all those other Kiwi prog rock bands? Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact they all dressed like New Wave Mimes. See for yourself.

SYNCHS

- The weird noise in the middle of "Walking Down a Road" begins right before C-3PO and the Rebels aboard the Tantive IV look up; once again, it appears they hear this noise and begin wondering what it is.

- A stormtrooper vanishes behind a thick cloud of smoke as the line "I disappeared" is heard in "Walking Down a Road."

- A real harrowing part of "Walking Down a Road" is heard as the droids make their way across the two warring factions aboard the Tantive IV.

- Princess Leia begins reprimanding Vader for invading her ship as the line "go on, you creep, get out" is heard in "Under the Wheel."

- The droids are seen wandering the desert as the line "it doesn't seem real, the way things turned out" is heard in "Under the Wheel."

- "Under the Wheel" picks up its pace the moment the film wipes to R2-D2 rolling alone through the canyon on Tatooine; the song slows back down as R2 is shot by the Jawa.

- The line "he needs no one to help him on his way" is heard in "Stranger Than Fiction" as Luke and 3PO come upon R2, who has managed to get halfway across Tatooine without any help.

- The phrase "knight in command" in "Titus" coincides with a shot of Grand Moff Tarkin.

NOTES

Why do I suddenly feel the urge to go to a Renaissance festival? Lo, Black Knight, I scourge thine prickly being to the depths of Hades. Yeah, that's probably not accurate at all. I don't care, though. I'm only in it for the wenches.

Selling Alderaan by the Pound

2006-08-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #168
"SELLING ALDERAAN BY THE POUND"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Selling England by the Pound by Genesis. Thought to be the best from the Peter Gabriel era, back when they were all weird and prog rocky. I wouldn't know. I've tried my hardest to steer clear of Genesis in all their forms (although I will admit that "I Can't Dance" was a damn catchy tune).

SYNCHS

- A tiny cymbal crashing is heard in "Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" as the door on the Tantive IV explodes.

- A group of choral singers are heard in "Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" as the first stormtroopers burst through the still smoking Tantive IV door.

- "Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" quiets down as the movie moves toward the scene where the stormtroopers are searching the bowels of the Tantive IV for Princess Leia.

- The phrase "two little lovebirds" in "I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)" coincides with a shot of C-3PO and R2-D2 wandering through the Tatooine desert.

- A triumphant organ part in "Firth of Fifth" coincides with Luke's first appearance.

- Some sad guitar strains are heard in "Firth of Fifth" after Luke is denied a trip to the Toschi Station.

- An organ swells up in "Firth of Fifth" as Princess Leia's hologram first appears; the next appearance of her hologram, in Obi-Wan's domicile, also coincides with an organ line in "The Battle of Epping Forest."

- Some sad guitar work is heard as Luke races to his aunt and uncle's house after realizing the Empire has probably paid them a visit.

- The line "listen to the old one speak" in "The Cinema Show" coincides with Obi-Wan speaking to Dr. Evanzan in the cantina.

- Han Solo's first appearance coincides with "The Cinema Show" getting all funky towards the end.

NOTES

This was almost like watching a silent movie, what with all the corresponding musical cues. That kind of thing hasn't happened too often during the GSWSP. Then again, I haven't tried much moody prog rock.

3/5 of Ed Doyle Week

2006-08-20T14:23:00.000-07:00

Ed still hasn't let me know what his last two picks are, but the first three are as follows:

8/21: Genesis - Selling England by the Pound
8/22: Split Enz - Mental Notes
8/23: Flaming Lips - Hit to Death in the Future Head

All with Star Wars. I done told you already, Empire and Jedi ain't getting much attention until I find the album that totally synchs up with Star Wars! You done knew that, a'ight? Damn! Suckas be hatin'!

I need to have ghetto-speak surgically removed from my sense of humor. At this point, it embarrasses us all.

THIS JUST IN: The JG2 StarWars.com interview goes "live" this Friday, August 25th. Hold on to your butts.

Darth Off Your Shoulder

2006-08-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #167
"DARTH OFF YOUR SHOULDER"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The Black Album, Jay-Z's alleged swan song. Contains the hit "99 Problems." Also contains at least one reference to Castor Troy, the villain from Face/Off. That's gotta be the only time a rapper has namechecked a Nicholas Cage character. I hope it doesn't start a trend. Yo, I'm gettin' all Cameron Poe up in here!

SYNCHS

- Jay-Z begins rapping on "December 4th" as the camera pans down after the opening crawl.

- The droids are seen wandering the Tatooine desert as the line "we got a problem, Houston" is heard in "What More Can I Say."

- The phrase "let's go" in "Change Clothes" coincides with Luke waving for R5-D4 to come with him.

- The phrase "ya boy is back" in "Change Clothes" coincides with R2-D2 joining C-3PO once again to replace the broken R5-D4.

- The beat in "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" becomes muffled right when C-3PO hits R2-D2 on the dome in Luke's room.

- The camera is on Greedo as the phrase "dying young, leaving a good-looking corpse" is heard in "Allure" (Greedo does die young, I think, and his corpse is pretty cool-looking).

NOTES

Jawa who? Jawa what? Dumb joke, but it had to be made. Mad props to James Holland for hooking me up with a copy of this album. Copy on, Copyman.

Next week my friend Ed Doyle is picking out all the albums for the GSWSP. He's into a lot of art rock. Early Genesis, Split Endz, Flaming Lips, that kind of stuff. When he sends me his list of selections, I'll post it. I'm sure I'll be screaming for mercy by Tuesday, but hey, sometimes you gotta suffer for your Star Wars blog, ya know?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go contemplate bidding on this.

She Stands There (Next to Vader)

2006-08-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry, They Might Be Giants fans, but my supplier didn't come through. It's all cool. The Johns should probably get their own week anyway. Substituting for Apollo 18 is a record by one of my favorite Clinton-era New York City punk bands, D Generation. It's entitled No Lunch. Let's see what we got, shall we?

EXPERIMENT #166
"SHE STANDS THERE (NEXT TO VADER)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

No Lunch by D Generation. Glitter n' grime foot-on-the-monitor punk. A frenzied, charismatic effort released in 1996 that garnered critical acclaim and public indifference. Not to be confused with the wrestling tag team known as D-Generation X, who (at least to my knowledge) have never recorded or released a musical record of any kind.

SYNCHS

- The Tantive IV door explosion coincides with the drums that start "Frankie."

- The gasping noises Jesse Malin makes in the middle of "Frankie" coincide with the Rebel soldier getting choked by Vader.

- "No Way Out" starts as the droids are first seen wandering though the vast desert wasteland of Tatooine.

- Luke shoots an unhappy look at his uncle after being denied a trip to the Toschi Station as the line "no me, I'm not your son" is heard in "Disclaimer."

- The melancholy bass that starts "Too Loose" coincides with Luke's longing stare into the Tatooine sunset.

- The Tusken Raiders are seen spying on Luke and Threepio in the landspeeder as the line "I can see you but you can't see me" is heard in "Too Loose."

- The Tusken Raider pops up and attacks Luke as the line "they've got you going down" is heard in "Too Loose."

NOTES

Wow, isn't that amazing? I'm sure it'll impress the hell outta the other two people in this country who own No Lunch. No, I'm kidding, I'm sure lotsa people own this great, great album. They'd be fools not to! Unless they really don't like D Generation, in which case they would be fools. Why hang on to a CD by a band you don't like? That's pretty stupid. Shit, you don't see me with any Hootie, do you?

Luke's House

2006-08-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #165
"LUKE'S HOUSE"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Greatest Hits by Run-D.M.C. Eighteen choice cuts from the coolest rappers ever to appear on "227." What, you never saw that episode? It was a complete rip-off of the famous Davy Jones "Brady Bunch" affair, substituting Run-D.M.C. for the pint-sized Monkees star and goofball Barry Sobel for Maureen McCormick. What it lacked in originality it more than made up for in seemingly endless shots of Jackée Harry shaking her groove thang during the grand finale block party.

SYNCHS

- The Star Wars logo appears at the same moment the regular beat starts in "King of Rock."

- The two spaceships in the beginning are seen warring as the line "take airplane flights at huge heights" is heard in "King of Rock."

- A group of stormtroopers blast their way through the Tantive IV corridor as the line "we're causin' hard times for sucker m.c.'s" is heard in "King of Rock."

- Princess Leia is seen creeping out of the shadows as the line "just can't hide" is heard in "It's Tricky." Moments later, two stormtroopers spot her, coinciding with the line "they know who's inside."

- R2-D2 is seen hobbling toward the camera as the line "walk this way" is heard in "Walk This Way."

- Luke is lying on the ground after the Tusken Raider attack as the line "Humpty Dumpty fell down, that's his hard time" is heard in "Peter Piper."

- Luke is going off about the Empire and how he can't go to Alderaan as Obi-Wan sits there with a dissatisfied look on his face as the line "Mary, Mary, why ya buggin'?" is heard in "Mary, Mary."

- Darth Vader walks into Princess Leia's cell as the line "this dude walked in lookin' strange and kinda funny" is heard in "You Be Illin'."

- The line "whatever happened to unity?" in "It's Like That" coincides with Ponda Baba shoving Luke in the cantina.

NOTES

On the last episode of "Run's House" I saw, Run was celebrating having successfully impregnating his wife by beat-boxing about his "super sperm." That hardly seems like something a man of the cloth should be doing. Beat-boxing about his sperm on basic cable, that is.

Wait, is that right, to call a Reverend a man of the cloth? Is that nickname solely reserved for priests? See, it's times like these I wish I had paid attention during all those CCD classes my parents made me take. Couldn't tear myself away from my daydreams, though. Back then, they mostly consisted of going on a road trip with Bill and Ted to meet Wayne and Garth at Madonna's house.

Is that the most early nineties daydream you ever heard about or what? Pepper in a little Jesus Jones and a few slap braclets and you've got yourself one helluva Dan Quayle-era party!

Oh, and by the way, the song Run-D.M.C. performed on "227" was "Mary, Mary." That was their reworking of the famous Monkees tune. Were they making sly reference to the lifted plotline? I like to think so!

Death Star Rock City

2006-08-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #164
"DEATH STAR ROCK CITY"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The Very Best of Kiss. They finally got me here. The previous six Kiss greatest hits compilations I could easily turn a blind eye to, but there was no way I could resist this 2002 release. "Detroit Rock City," "I Love It Loud," and "God Gave Rock n' Roll To You II" all on one disc? Well played, Gene and Paul. I accept this defeat and gracefully turn my $9.99 plus tax over to you.

SYNCHS

- The line "you know she's gonna leave you well done" in "Hotter Than Hell" is heard as the Jawa shoots R2-D2 in the canyon on Tatooine.

NOTES

Yeah, I know Kiss is supposed to be written entirely in capital letters. I'm not gonna do it, though. That right there symbolizes my love/hate relationship with them. I'll admit to liking a few of their songs, I'll admit I dig the whole vibe they were going for, but I ain't about to bow down like a slave and follow all of the Kiss Kommandments. They can capitalize their own letters. 'Nuff said.

FYI - tomorrow's experiment? Up well before 9 P.M. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to appear in the sequel to Snakes on a Plane.

Rebels Beware

2006-08-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #163
"REBELS BEWARE"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Blank Generation by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. Poetic punk/pop pastiche from the guy who played Madonna's boyfriend in Desperately Seeking Susan and three of his (obscenely underrated) musician friends. I'd say this record is more important than anything Lou Reed ever did, but then again, I hate Lou Reed. I'd say anything Jim Nabors put out was more important than anything Lou Reed ever did.

SYNCHS

- "Blank Generation" starts the moment we first see Luke Skywalker onscreen (this song is the anthem for all those who feel isolated and out of place in their own world as Luke does when we meet him).

- The phrase "take it" is heard in "Blank Generation" as Luke takes C-3PO out of the robot auction.

NOTES

Come on, Richard! It's like you didn't even see Star Wars before you wrote and recorded this album! What's up with that? You failed, bro. You failed hard.

Anonymous: you are partially correct. The two Johns in They Might Be Giants are originally from Massachusetts. However, TMBG was not formed until they found each other in New York City a few years after first meeting. At least that's what Wikipedia told me. So if that's not right, take it up with the Wiki!

Egbert: yes, that Police record would be a good one to try. Maybe I'll give it a go during "Bands Named After Law Enforcement Organizations" week.

Sorry this post is so tardy going up. As I said before, I was running late for life the other day, and when I finally did show up, life pounded my ass hard. I'm gonna be in traction all week.

The City That Never Synchs?

2006-08-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

The schedule for "I Love New York" week:

8/14: Richard Hell & the Voidoids - Blank Generation
8/15: Kiss - The Very Best of Kiss
8/16: Run-D.M.C. - Greatest Hits
8/17: They Might Be Giants - Apollo 18
8/18: Jay-Z - The Black Album

An' to all dose who didn't vote: I gotcha synchronicity right heah [jostles crotch]. Naaaaaaaaah, I'm just bustin' ya balls. Hey, fuhggedaboutit!

Start Spreadin' the News...

2006-08-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Another record voter turnout here on the GSWSP. Yep, three people made their voices heard in the great NYC vs. CLE debate; unfortunately, one person voted by leaving a comment on my MySpace profile (which doesn't count), and another voted after the midnight deadline (which also doesn't count - and would you believe that person was me? I can't even follow my own damn rules!).

That leaves one official vote, a vote for New York. I hereby declare New York City the winner of the Umpteenth Annual GSWSP "Battle for Next Week's Theme." Suck it, Cleveland.

Schedule to be announced later. I'm runnin' late for life, g.

Cantina Jitters

2006-08-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #162
"CANTINA JITTERS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Pleased to Meet Me by the Replacements. Contains their big hits, "Alex Chilton" and "Can't Hardly Wait." Check out the 'dos the boys are sportin' on the back cover. To paraphrase Pat McCormick, it's amazing they could sing so well with sparrows living in their hair.

SYNCHS

- The phrase "gonna show you something" is heard as the camera pans down after the opening crawl disappears.

- C-3PO turns away from an incapacitated R2-D2 as the phrase "nevermind" is heard in "Nevermind" (it's that part where 3PO looks back, R2 gets zapped by the Jawa, and then 3PO sadly turns away).

NOTES

For the third and final time I say weak.

Still no photo of Bob's bench. Don't know where it went. Instead, here's a picture of me and my friend Chris McCauly honoring the spirit of Bob with really dumb hats:

Okay, time to flex your democratic muscles. Should next week's theme be "Cleveland Rocks!" (all artists from the CLE) or "I Love New York" (all Big Apple artists)? Leave a comment on this post with your vote. The theme with the most votes by midnight tomorrow wins. Get crazy with the cheez whiz (and by that I mean have fun voting and enjoy your weekend).

Banthas of Young

2006-08-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #161
"BANTHAS OF YOUNG"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Tim by the Replacements. Sloppier and poppier. This was their last with founding guitarist Bob Stinson, who exited the group in another one of those cloudy "did he quit or get fired?" rock n' roll moments. Bob didn't accomplish much post-Mats; he basically just floundered around with a few other Minneapolis-based bands until his untimely death in 1995. His legacy of hot licks and inebriated fun lives on, though, in the form of a bench dedicated to his memory in the city's Lake of the Isles park.

SYNCHS

- The line "gimme one good dose of thunder" is heard in "Dose of Thunder" as R2-D2 is shot by the Jawa.

- C-3PO and R2-D2 are seen sitting aboard the sandcrawler right before the robot auction, wondering what will happen next, as the line "if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side" is heard in "Swingin' Party."

NOTES

Again I say weak.

I thought I had a picture of Bob's bench I could put here, but clearly I don't. Maybe tomorrow.

Chewie's Got a Boner

2006-08-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #160
"CHEWIE'S GOT A BONER"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Let It Be by the Replacements. Their magnum opus. Thirty-three minutes of crucial ragamuffin rock brilliance. Probably the most important guitar-based album of the 1980s. Certainly one of the best. Definitely the best featuring a blazing mandolin solo.

SYNCHS

- The Jawa moves toward R2-D2 to apply the restraining bolt as the line "they've got you under their thumb" is heard in "Black Diamond."

- "Seen Your Video" is playing when Luke discovers Princess Leia's hologram.

NOTES

Weak.

I went to the house on the cover of Let It Be one time. Here's photographic evidence:

That's Angela's head in the foreground. We thought about climbing up on the roof to be like the album cover, but it was the middle of the day and there were too many people milling about. Shoulda gone back at night and done it. Oh well. There's always next time. I wonder how many crazy 'Mats fans have actually tried to get on top of that house...

Take Me Down to the Jundland Wastes

2006-08-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #159
"TAKE ME DOWN TO THE JUNDLAND WASTES"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Hootenanny, the second full-length Replacements album. As the title suggests, the 'Mats began navigating their way out of the sloppy waters of punk rock on this one. Oh, there's still a few numbers worth slam dancing to, but the majority of the material here is rough pop with tinges of country. In fact, this album may have kick started the whole "alt country" movement. I may be wrong, but for all you know, I may be right!

SYNCHS

- "Hootenanny" draws to a close at the same time the opening crawl begins to fade away.

- "Run It" plays during the scenes where the Tantive IV is seen "running away" from the star destroyer.

- A few of the cymbal crashes in "Run It" coincide with the star destroyer's laser fire.

- One of the beat shifts in "Run It" coincides with the explosion that cripples the Tantive IV.

- "Run It" ends as the Rebel soldiers take their positions in the Tantive IV corridor (they are no longer trying to outrun the star destroyer).

- A group of stormtroopers march by as the line "everybody's dressin' funny" is heard in "Color Me Impressed."

- "Willpower" starts as Darth Vader is interrupted during his interrogation of the Rebel soldier; despite being choked to death, the soldier has the willpower to withhold the information about the stolen Death Star plans.

- "Willpower" is also playing as Princess Leia refuses to admit to Darth Vader that she is part of the Rebel Alliance.

- "Take Me Down to the Hospital" is playing when R2-D2 is crippled by the Jawas.

- The line "I've been waiting" is heard in "Mr. Whirly" as C-3PO greets R2-D2 inside the sandcrawler.

- Uncle Owen tells Luke he can't go to the Toschi Station as the line "it's really up to me" is heard in "Within Your Reach."

- R5-D4 explodes as the word "die" is heard in "Within Your Reach."

- The pause in "Lovelines" coincides with Luke popping the restraining bolt off of R2-D2.

- "You Lose" starts the same time Luke and Owen begin to talk about Luke's future; Luke gets up, admitting defeat, as the phrase "you lose" is heard during the chorus.

- "You Lose" ends at the same exact moment the film wipes to Luke's darkened room.

- The phrase "treatment bound" is heard in "Treatment Bound" as the Tusken Raider attacks Luke.

- Obi-Wan pulls back his hood to reveal himself just as the Replacements screw up in the middle of "Treatment Bound."

NOTES

Nice framework with the songs in this one. Another "who would have guessed?" album. Those wacky Replacements...you never know what they're albums are gonna do! Sometimes they'll just sit there, bein' albums, ahhhn other times, they go crazy, ahhhhn they synch up with Star Wars! I tellya, it's really sumthin'!

That was my impression of David Cross doing an impression of an easily-impressed middle American. Impressive, I know.

Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Wampa

2006-08-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #158
"SORRY MA, FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE WAMPA"

FILM

The Empire Strikes Back (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash, the 1981 debut from the Replacements. Tried this sucker back in January with Star Wars and saw a freaky thing or two (check that out here). I think this is the album I'd pick if someone posed to me that oft-asked question, "If you were stranded on a desert island, what one album would you want to have with you?" Either this or Road to Ruin. That's where I'm at, yo.

SYNCHS

- The text of the opening crawl disappears as the line "go no further" is heard in "Takin' a Ride" (the text literally goes no further up the screen).

- The probot is seen flying through space as the line "takin' a ride" is repeated in "Takin' a Ride."

- The phrase "can't go" is heard in "Hangin' Downtown" as Han Solo looks at Princess Leia right before he tells her he's leaving Echo base; a few seconds later, the phrase "stick around" is heard as Princess Leia looks back at him. These or similiar thoughts are probably crossing both their minds as they look at one another during this sequence.

- Han reaches over and muffles C-3PO's "mouth" as the phrase "rather loud" is heard in "Kick Your Door Down."

- The phrase "bye bye" is heard repeatedly in "Johnny's Gonna Die" as Luke finishes up with the medical droid and says good-bye to him/her/it.

- The Imperials are seen aboard the superstar destroyer awaiting the Rebel attack as the phrase "everybody's waitin'" is heard in "More Cigarettes."

- "Trouble" starts as the Rebel base on Hoth shakes due to Imperial attack.

- The word "trouble" is repeated in "Trouble" as Luke's snowspeeder crashes just yards away from the AT-AT's foot.

- Princess Leia is ignoring a flustered Han Solo, who is trying to get her out of the under attack Echo base, as the line "girls are a pain in my life" is heard in "Love You Till Friday."

- The line "go for a jog" is heard in "Shutup" as Han and Leia are seen running through the Echo base corridor.

NOTES

Is C-3PO programmed to believe he has lips? 'Cause it sure sounds like Han is preventing him from talking in that one part, even though the little rectangle that's supposed to be his mouth never moves when he speaks. That's a nasty trick to play on a robot. Make him fluent in six million languages, but also make him believe he has lips so humans can put their hand on his mouth if they don't want to hear him talk anymore.

Wake up, Threepio. You don't have lips. You have a speaker and a rectangle. Don't let mankind screw with you anymore. The next time one of those meatbags tries to shut you up with his hand, jab him in the solar plexis with the sharp part of your elbow. What's he gonna do, kick your ass? You're made of metal! Metal beats flesh! Carve him up like a Christmas ham! Take back your right to blabber incessantly!

Again, this is one of those dumb little Star Wars plotholes that was probably explained away in a tenth-generation piece of expanded universe literature bearing a silly name like Fury of the Sith or Droid Stalker. Sorry, folks, I just can't keep up with that stuff. I have a hard enough time staying current with Wookieepedia.

The 'Mats

2006-08-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

This week is all about the Replacements. Why? 'Cause I love 'em, that's why.

8/07: Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash (w/ Empire)
8/08: Hootenanny (w/ Star Wars)
8/09: Let It Be (w/ Star Wars)
8/10: Tim (w/ Star Wars)
8/11: Pleased to Meet Me (w/ Star Wars)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go delete all the spam Chris Mars has been sending me about his art gallery.

Songs for the Darth

2006-08-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #157
"SONGS FOR THE DARTH"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age. A throbbing slab of stoner rock that will suffocate you with guitar. That's how I want to die for sure. Dave Grohl stopped playing arena rock for two seconds to drum on this one. When the guitars are this beefy, you'd better get someone as loud as Grohl on the trap kit. Otherwise it's just gonna sound like mud, honey.

SYNCHS

- The first radio announcer begins talking the moment the "long time ago" text appears on the screen.

- "No One Knows" starts as the Rebels in the Tantive IV corridor all look up, not knowing what is happening outside their ship.

- The slow part of "Song for the Dead" starts at the exact moment R2-D2 gets shot by the Jawa.

- R2 wakes up in the sandcrawler at the same exact moment the guitar bend is heard that begins the solo in "Song for the Dead."

- One of the DJs at the end of "The Sky is Falling" says, "Shut up, you little brat!" right as C-3PO hits R2 on the dome inside Luke's house.

- The line "in the Summer sun" in "Hangin' Tree" coincides with a shot of Tatooine's twin suns.

- C-3PO is carrying on after the Tusken Raider attack about how he's done for as the line "this is the end" is heard in "Gonna Leave You."

- Luke looks away from his dead relative's remains at the same moment "God is in the Radio" pauses briefly.

- The line "you can't help this boy for long" is heard in "Another Love Song" as Dr. Evanzan looks angrily at Obi-Wan, who is warning him not to mess with Luke (seconds later Dr. E throws Luke to the ground).

- Han Solo makes his first appearance as the line "here is something you should drop to your knees and worship" is heard at the end of "Another Love Song."

NOTES

Fun, fun, fun. That's all I gotta say 'bout the 'speriment, Lucy.

I'm sorry, I'm just too excited about this:

Yes, that's the issue of Star Wars Insider featuring the article about this blog! It goes on sale Monday. They sent me a free copy this week and I'm definitely in there! Page ten, to be exact. No photo (sorry, ladies), but there is an awesome photoshop of AC/DC with Ewok heads. That alone should sell you.

Not sure when the online supplement is going up (read: the full, uncut interview with yours truly); it might be part of "Hyperspace," which is the pay section of StarWars.com. Sucktacular, I know, but I have a copy of the full interview and I'll post it here if that's the case.

Today Insider, tomorrow the world.

I'm still amazed by this, especially in light of the, uh, "constructive criticism" I've offered Lucasfilm here concerning their upcoming DVD release. Welp, guess that proves not everyone at LFL is, well, you know...a certain way.

And before you ask, yes, I will sign it for you so you can sell it on eBay after I die.

An Apology

2006-08-03T23:01:00.000-07:00

In this late hour, I realize today's experiment was kind of lame. After I discovered the track mix-up, I should have copied the CD, put the songs in the correct order, and done the experiment again. I didn't, though, and that makes me the Great Star Wars Synchronicity Slacker. I'm sorry. Hot Fuss shall get its do-over sometime in the near future, I promise. Scout's honor (yes, I was in Scouts - Scout's honor!).

Vader Was a Friend of Mine

2006-08-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #156
"VADER WAS A FRIEND OF MINE"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Hot Fuss by the Killers. Vegas-based Depeche Modey rock band that lots of girls seem to dig. There are several different versions of this CD; evidently, I have the Michael Poley version. That is to say, my friend Michael Poley burned me a copy and neglected to tell me the tracks were slightly out of order. I'm assuming this was merely absent-mindedness on Michael's part (if it was intentional sabotage, it was pretty weak). At any rate, if you have Hot Fuss and want to try this one for yourself, just be sure to Poley-ize the tracklisting onto a blank CD or your iPod like this:

01. "Everything Will Be Alright"
02. "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine"
03. "Mr. Brightside"
04. "Smile Like You Mean It"
05. "Somebody Told Me"
06. "All These Things That I've Done"
07. "Andy, You're a Star"
08. "On Top"
09. "Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll"
10. "Believe Me Natalie"
11. "Midnight Show"

SYNCHS

- The appearance of the Star Wars logo coincides with the first "doo doo" the singer utters in "Everything Will Be Alright."

- The phrase "everything will be alright" is heard repeatedly during the opening battle between the Rebels and the Imperials.

- The line "I know my rights" is heard in "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" as Princess Leia first begins to complain to Darth Vader about his invasion of her ship.

- The line "I just can't take this, I swear I'm telling the truth" is heard in "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" as Leia firmly tells Vader she's on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.

- The phrase "it's killing me" in "Mr. Brightside" coincides with R2-D2 getting shot by the Jawa.

- R5-D4 is taken away as the line "ready, let's roll into something new" in "Somebody Told Me."

- Luke stands up right after the line "I wanna stand up" is heard in "All These Things That I've Done."

- Uncle Owen is telling Luke he needs him during the upcoming harvest as the line "you know you gotta help me out" is heard in "All These Things That I've Done."

- Luke looks dejected after his uncle refuses to let him leave the farm as the line "don't put me on the back burner" is heard in "All These Things That I've Done."

- The Tusken Raiders pillaging Luke's landspeeder all look up as the keyboard noises begin in "On Top."

NOTES

The lead singer of the Killers is named Brandon Flowers. That's his God-given, Christian name, apparently. A guy named Flowers in a band called the Killers. There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to fish it out right now.

Sorry, Panic! and Fall Out Boy fans, but tomorrow I'm doing Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age. I've been wanting to do that one for a long time, and hey, whaddaya know? They're a newfangled band! Hooray!

Also, I know all the songs are in order on that CD. Oh snap, Pole. You just got disssssssssssssssssssed.

St. Eisley

2006-08-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #155
"ST. EISLEY"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

St. Elsewhere, the techno-infused soul bomb from hot newcomers Gnarls Barkley. You know who's in this band? Cee-Lo! That's how every conversation I've ever had about Gnarls Barkley has started. People are just amazed that Cee-Lo is out there doin' shit again. Hats off to you, Cee. America loves you. Now if Skee-Lo could just get his act together...

SYNCHS

- Cee-Loo's first soulful screams in "Go-Go Gadget Gospel" coincide with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- C-3PO looks behind him as the line "emotions have an echo in space" is heard in "Crazy" (like he hears an echo back there).

- Darth Vader makes his first entrance as the line "it's no coincidence that I've come" is heard in "Crazy."

- The phrase "gone away" is heard in "Gone Daddy Gone" as C-3PO is seen walking away from R2-D2 on the surface of Tatooine.

- C-3PO is seen walking through the desert alone as the line "where are you now?" is heard in "Smiley Faces."

- The first spacey noise in the middle of "Smiley Faces" coincides with the electric jolt that surges through R2-D2 after he's been shot.

- A weird guitar bend in "Just a Thought" coincides with the appearance of Princess Leia's hologram.

- C-3PO is telling R2-D2 to stop being foolish in the Jundland Wastes ("Luke is your master now...") as the line "wake up, wake up, wake up" is heard in "Necromancer."

NOTES

Well, we know Gnarls Barkley is down with Star Wars 'cause they all dressed like characters from the saga when they played the MTV Movie Awards. Unless, of course, the whole dressing up like famous movie characters is just a schtick to them and they could really care less. I don't know. They kind of give off that vibe, that we-could-care-less vibe. On the other hand, who would play drums in a Chewbacca costume unless they really loved Star Wars?

What, you want an answer right now? Come on, I was only...alright, alright, hang on.

Okay, I poked around the Internet a little just now, found two interviews with the Gnarls, and the subject of costuming did not come up in either one. Draw your own conclusions. All I know is they can't keep it up. There are only so many iconic movie characters a band can dress up as. Before long, GB will be mining Pauly Shore and Ernest films for ideas, probably even desperate enough to assemble a Men At Work tribute.

This, undoubtedly, will cause much head-scratching amongst G. Barkley fans, most of whom will turn their attention to whatever new, quirky band Myspace is pimping like a fifty dollar whore at that particular point in time. Probably some lame-ass shit like President Pizza.

Ahem. I said President Pizza. The six of you who understand that joke better be laughing yourselves into comas right now.

I Bet You Look Good on the Death Star

2006-08-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #154
"I BET YOU LOOK GOOD ON THE DEATH STAR"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not by the Arctic Monkeys. Hyped-to-death band from England who conquered their homeland in record time earlier this year and gained a foothold here in America despite barly having an album out and the handicap of a beyond stupid name. Arctic Monkeys? Sounds like a band Screech was in on "Saved by the Bell."

SYNCHS

- Two or three of the cymbal crashes in the beginning of "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" coincide with shots of Rebel soldiers getting shot in the opening battle.

- Darth Vader is onscreen when the line "you look like a robot from 1984" is heard in "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor."

- The line "sends it coursing through the veins" is heard in "You Probably Couldn't See For the Lights But You Were Staring Straight at Me" as the Jawa shoots R2-D2 and electricity is seen coursing through the droid's circuits.

NOTES

Since that wasn't very entertaining, here's something that is:

Wish I could say I'm responsible for that, but I'm not.

Take Me Out (to Mos Eisley)

2006-07-31T17:34:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #153
"TAKE ME OUT (TO MOS EISLEY)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The self-titled debut from Scottish neo-new wave group Franz Ferdinand. Conjurs up images of overpaid models sniffing coke in a department store bathroom. Not my thing, but I hear the kids dig it.

SYNCHS

- The line "you know I'm here waiting for you" in "Take Me Out" coincides with Princess Leia creeping out from behind some pipes in an attempt to surprise the stormtroopers.

- The line "just a shot away from you" in "Take Me Out" coincides with the exchange of blaster fire between Princess Leia and the stormtroopers.

- The line "I know I won't be leaving here with you" in "Take Me Out" coincides with C-3PO telling R2-D2 he's not getting into the escape pod with him (just seconds before the explosion that convinces him to get in anyway).

- As the escape pod carrying the droids takes off, the tempo of "Take Me Out" begins to slow down, leading to the funkier part of the song.

- Princess Leia is firmly telling Darth Vader she's on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan as the line "I say you don't know" is heard in "Take Me Out."

- The last line of "Take Me Out," "I know I won't be leaving here with you," is heard as the droids argue about which direction to go in on the surface of Tatooine (they eventually separate as the song fades away).

- Luke's walk to the sandcrawler is interrupted by Aunt Beru calling for him; at the same point, the line "she won't let you" is heard in "Auf Acshe."

- "Auf Acshe" ends at the same exact moment the Jawa shuts R2-D2 off after the robot auction.

- The line "goodbye sir" is heard in "Cheating on You" as R5-D4 is taken away by the Jawas.

- R2 is shown hiding in that little enclave after the Tusken Raider attack as the line "this is where I'll be" is heard in "Michael."

- Princess Leia's hologram is seen appealing to Obi-Wan to come help her as the line "come on home" is heard repeatedly in "Come On Home."

NOTES

I've got "Take Me Out" stuck in my head and it's making me nauseous. It sounds like how it feels to be on a crappy carnival ride, I think. Oh, I wanna get off. I had too much cotton candy.

Newfangled Bands

2006-07-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

Hey, what's with these newfangled bands? Do you think any of their records synch up with Star Wars? Let's find out.

7/31: Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
8/01: Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
8/02: Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
8/03: The Killers - Hot Fuss
8/04: TBA

I'm hoping to acquire Panic! At The Disco for Friday's experiment, but I'll settle for Fallout Boy. Oh, these newfangled bands!

It Really Hurts When the Empire Strikes Back!

2006-07-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Check out these vintage SNES game reviews for Super Empire Strikes Back and Super Return of the Jedi. I'm not sure when (or why) they were made, but the narration is ridonkulous. Baddies, jetpack freaks, mode seven levels, the Mah-llennium Falcon...remember when that happened in the movie? It really hurts when the Empire strikes back! Just watch already.

Death Star Trip

2006-07-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #152
"DEATH STAR TRIP"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Raw Power by the Stooges, without a doubt one of the loudest albums ever made (if not the loudest). It's been cold-cocking serious rock dudes everywhere since '73 with stompers like "Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell" and the transcendent "Search and Destroy." Not a good record to put on if you want to just sit back and get your weed on, which is why a lot of hardcore Stooge fans don't like it. Most people dig Raw Power, though, because...well, jeez, it's Iggy Pop. How can you hate on the Igster?

SYNCHS

- The hard guitar strum that starts out the final chorus of "Search and Destroy" coincides with the explosion that rocks the Tantive IV.

- "Gimme Danger" starts right before the Imperials invade the Tantive IV.

- Darth Vader is looking at the dead Rebel soldiers near his feet right after he boards the Tantive IV as the line "there's nothing left alive" is heard in "Gimme Danger."

- Princess Leia is seen being taken to Vader as the line "pretty face and a dirty look" is heard in "Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell."

- As C-3PO is waving to get the sandcrawler's attention, Iggy Pop is screaming, "Hey hey hey!" in "Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell" (it looks like 3PO is screaming this as well to flag down the sandcrawler).

- The line "come and take me" is heard in "Penetration" as the tube that sucks R2-D2 into the sandcrawler is seen coming down.

- The line "everybody always tryin', always tryin' tell me what to do" in "Raw Power" coincides with the first appearance of Luke, which is interrupted by his Aunt Beru calling him.

- "Everybody always tryin', always tryin' tell me what to do" is heard again as we see Luke's angry expression after his uncle orders him to take the droids in and get them cleaned up.

- Princess Leia's hologram is seen saying, "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope" as the line "I need somebody" is heard in "I Need Somebody."

- The phrase "history" is heard in "Death Trip" as Luke asks Obi-Wan how his father died.

NOTES

Did I ever tell you about the time my friends and I almost went to Iggy Pop's house? When I say that, I mean we almost decided to drive to Miami to try and find Iggy Pop's house. It was Halloween 2001, I think. We were so close to jumping in the car and going. Do you know what we ended up doing? Watching Ace Venture: When Nature Calls and going to the mall for half an hour. Weakest 10/31 ever.

We did see Iggy Pop once, my friends and I, in concert. I think it was that same year. Yeah, it had to be. He came bouncing out looking like the last Civil War refugee, but I'll be damned if he didn't put on an amazing rock show. Some kid jumped from the second story balcony in the venue and landed on the stage; security was about to beat his ass when Iggy said, "Naw, wait! Let's see what this kid can do!" The kid kinda hobbled around for a minute and then limped offstage. That was wild, man. Wild and wonderful.

Yeah, that was definitely 2001. I was still in college, working two or three jobs inbetween classes just so I could afford to do stuff every once in while like go see Iggy Pop and take my girlfriend to the movies. That reminds me: I don't think we ever saw a movie I wanted to see when I dated that particular girl. It was always her choice. Fuckin' Girl, Interrupted an' shit. Come on already! I can't take it already!

Girl, Interrupted. Also known as Two Hours of Torture for JG2. If I hadn't snuck that meatball sub in with me, I would have died. No doubt, son.

Yes, I still cling to urban lingo as a source of humor. I am not proud.

Billion Dollar Banthas

2006-07-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #151
"BILLION DOLLAR BANTHAS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Billion Dollar Babies by Alice Cooper. A masterpiece of seventies hard rock containing some of the Coop's most memorable songs (i.e. "Elected," "No More Mr. Nice Guy"). If you don't own any AC, this is a damn good place to start. Dropped way back in '73, when Al was still boozing and had yet to pick up a golf club.

SYNCHS

- The line "let the show begin" in "Hello Hooray" coincides with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- The explosion that rocks the Tantive IV coincides with the first chord that's heard after the brief silence in "Hello Hooray."

- The weird stomping sounds (I think it's stomping) at the end of "Hello Hooray" coincide with the Imperial invasion of the Tantive IV.

- The stormtrooper that shoots Princess Leia is standing over her stunned body as the line "Hey, I think I got a live one here" is heard in "Raped and Freezin'."

- The escape pod jettisons the moment the Mexican breakdown starts in "Raped and Freezin'."

- R2-D2 turns on inside the sandcrawler (right before the robot auction) at the same time the drums start in "Unfinished Sweet."

- The regular beat starts again after the weird breakdown in "Unfinished Sweet" right as Luke puts his model T-16 Skyhopper down.

- The orgasm noises at the end of "Unfinished Sweet" coincide with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The chorus of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" is heard as C-3PO hits R2-D2 on the dome inside Luke's room/garage.

- The line "dad has to hide" in "No More Mr. Nice Guy" coincides with Uncle Owen telling Luke that Obi-Wan died about the same time as his father (Uncle Owen is lying, of course; Luke's dad is really "hiding" as another person).

- The "No More Mr. Nice Guy" outro plays during Luke and Uncle Owen's argument (Luke gets up from the table as the last drum hits are heard).

- The long harmonica wheeze in "Mary Ann" coincides with R2's Tusken Raider alarm.

- "I Love the Dead" is playing when Luke finds the dead bodies of his relatives.

- "I Love the Dead" switches to an orchestral part as the film wipes from Luke staring at his dead relatives to the Death Star exterior.

- The final "dun dun dun!" in "I Love the Dead" coincides with the shot of the torture droid's needle.

NOTES

This photo sums up my feelings about the preceding experiment rather soundly:

Dead Lars and the Dirty Ground

2006-07-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #150
"DEAD LARS AND THE DIRTY GROUND"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

White Blood Cells, the 2001 record that smeared the White Stripes all over America's bread like so much creamy peanut butter. "Fell in Love with a Girl" was the big hit, the accompanying video for which looked, if I may borrow a phrase from Will Smith, like a Lego explosion. Gave a lot of bands without bass players hope; sadly, most of those bands didn't have the talent/connections that Jack and Meg had.

SYNCHS

- C-3PO looks up to the ceiling right after Jack White says, "I was watchin'" in "Hotel Yorba" (as if he can hear Mr. White's warbling just as we can).

- The line "actin' tough and I'm gonna do what I please" in "Hotel Yorba" coincides with the first appearance of Darth Vader.

- R5-D4 explodes as the line "hope you know a strong man who can lend you a hand" is heard in "The Same Boy You've Always Known."

- "We're Going to be Friends" starts during the scene where Luke and the droids first get acquainted.

- Luke walks through a door as the line "I'm coming through the door" is heard in "Offend in Every Way."

- Luke sees his dead relatives as the line "there's no one else around" is heard in "This Protector."

NOTES

The "We're Going to be Friends" thing was cute. I got a kick out of it.

Question: have either of the White Stripes ever been photographed wearing anything other than a combination of red, white, and black? Inquiring minds like mine want to know. I'd love to see Jack in some neon Jamz and a "Who Pooted?" t-shirt. Someone hook me up with pics from their "off" days. Thanks in advance.

Evildarthers Beware

2006-07-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #149
"EVILDARTHERS BEWARE"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Evildoers Beware! by Mustard Plug. Another album courtesy of a ska band that saw their professional peak sometime in the late nineties. These guys are still plugging away, though (pun so intended). I guess you can make some decent cheddar touring with ska in this country. Too bad I never learned to play alto sax.

SYNCHS

- The line "though I try I can never get away" in "Box" coincides with the Tantive IV trying to evade the star destroyer.

- The line "I know there's no escape" in "Box" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldiers aboard the Tantive IV, nervously awaiting their fate.

- Princess Leia's hologram is onscreen as the line "who will be your guiding light?" is heard in "Jerry."

- R2-D2 looks around the Jundland Wastes as the line "I looked around" is heard in "Sadie May."

NOTES

Almost as boring as the music on the CD. Sorry, Plugsters, you know I ain't down with what you do. It's nothing personal. That's just (say it with me) HOW I ROLL!!! YAY!!!!

You know, my friend Rob Shields invented the best name for a ska band ever: He-Man versus Skaletor. If you fail to see the brilliance in that, I don't ever want to talk to you.

Sorry if that was harsh. I had a rough day at the office. They're actually giving me work now. That's why the blog posts are going up later. I don't have the time at work anymore because THEY'RE GIVING ME ACTUAL WORK!! HOO-BOY, IMAGINE THAT! Why, you were just knee-high to a june bug the last time I had any work to do!

Okay, this is veering off into uncharted (and very stupid) territory. Time for a nap.

Break the Gonk

2006-07-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #148
"BREAK THE GONK"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Destruction by Definition by the Suicide Machines. Blew up in the '96 season thanks to the radio hit "No Face." All the kids I ran with in high school had a copy of this CD. Not me, though. Ska-punk was never my scene. Nowadays, I can handle it in small doses; back then, it was my kryptonite.

SYNCHS

- The line "look around, all I see are people sho don't understand unity" in "S.O.S." coincides with the exchange of laser fire between the Tantive IV and the star destroyer that is pursuing it.

- The line "we need help" in "S.O.S." coincides with a shot of the droids trying to escape the madness aboard the Tantive IV (which is under attack).

- The line "we need help" is heard again as the Rebel soldiers are in their positions, looking up at the ceiling with dread as the star destroyer sucks them up.

- One of the last, really empassioned "we need helps!" is heard as three Rebel soldiers are seen running down a corridor, trying to evade Imperial gunfire.

- The "ah ya ya ya" in "Break the Glass" that sounds like the speaker is choking or gargling coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldier being choked by Darth Vader.

- The phrase "insane" in "No Face" coincides with a shot of Vader.

- The droids are seen wandering alone in the desert as the line "is anybody out there, does anybody know?" is heard in "No Face."

- The phrase "the world's a scary place" is heard in "Islands" as a group of Jawas is seen reacting to something that clearly frightens them, as they run for cover behind the sandcrawler.

- Luke is seen lying unconscious on the ground as the line "fucked up on the inside" is heard in "Inside/Outside."

- The line "you know you make me wanna say so long" in "So Long" coincides with Luke suddenly reacting to Obi-Wan's suggestion that he accompany him to Alderaan (the gist of which is, "Piss off, I gotta go home now").

- The line "shut your fuckin' mouth" is heard in "I Don't Wanna Hear It" as Tarkin and Vader walk into the Death Star conference room, silencing the arguing Imperials.

NOTES

Had more than a feeling a lot of "S.O.S." would synch up. That's pretty much the reason I chose to do this CD. I glanced at the back cover and had this crazy hunch. Too bad the rest of it didn't pan out.

Detroit (and Surrounding Areas) Rock City

2006-07-23T23:25:00.000-07:00

Gonna kick out the jams Michigan-style this week, motherfuckers:

7/24: Suicide Machines - Destruction by Definition
7/25: Mustard Plug - Evildoers Beware!
7/26: White Stripes - White Blood Cells
7/27: Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar Babies
7/28: Stooges - Raw Power

Doin' these all with Star Wars, if'n ya care. Apologies to all you Grand Funk and Eminem fans out there. Couldn't get my hands on any of that. Next time, homies. Next time.

We Care A Lot (About Hoth)

2006-07-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #147
"WE CARE A LOT (ABOUT HOTH)"

FILM

The Empire Strikes Back (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Disc the first of the Faith No More retrospective Who Cares A Lot? The Greatest Hits, which I already discovered synchs with Star Wars in thirty distinct ways (link).

SYNCHS

- The chorus of "Introduce Yourself" ("introduce yourself, right on!") is heard the first time we see each of the following characters onscreen: Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia.

- The phrase "bleeding, lying on the floor" in "Epic" coincides with Luke felling the Wampa (which bleeds, presumably, and lies on the floor after being attacked).

- The emotional ending of "Epic," which starts on guitar but eventually segues into piano, begins at the same moment the camera closes in on Leia's reaction to the doors closing for the night at Echo Base while Han and Luke are still out in the blizzard.

- "Falling to Pieces" begins right after Han's Tauntaun keels over in the snow.

- The line "left the door open wide" in "Digging the Grave" is heard right after Imperial troops blast a hole in the wall of the Echo Base and invade.

NOTES

Phew, that's lookin' more barren than Madam Curie! Seriously, there's less synchs here than WMDs in Iraq! Oh, didn't think I get all political on your unsuspecting ass, did you? That's how I roll, son (unpredictably).

So the forthcoming Star Wars DVDs were shown this past week at Comic-Con in San Diego, and Aint-it-cool-news.com is reporting that the original unaltered versions contained on said DVDs look "exactly like those bootlegs out there of the laserdiscs. A little washed out, pixelated and strobey."

Hey, did you see that thing that just whizzed by? That was my very last hope for these DVDs. Kinda foolish, I know, but I was holding on to this crazy hope that Lucasfilm would surprise us with really boffo-looking OUT prints, restored and anamorphic and all that jazz. Silly, huh?

Yeah, I had this crazy dream that it was all a prank. Everything that went down in the past decade, that is: the prequels, the shoddy treatment of the OUT, the shoddy treatment of the fans, Lucasfilm's general out-of-touch, clumsy persona...all an elaborate prank intended to rankle us good. Ashton Kutcher would pop out from behind a plant or a dumpster at Skywalker Ranch and scream, "Oh, damn, Star Wars nerds! You got PUNK'D!!!!" Everyone would breathe a sigh of relief, and we'd get on with our lives.

Nope. That tiny little hope just flew away, bolting out of sight and up into the ozone. Oh well. I'm not too crushed. Any Star Wars fan worth his salt knows that Lucasfilm will bust a certifiably awesome OUT on us when they absolutely, positively have nothing else in their well. It just suck-diddly-ucks that they won't pop it out now, with this set (considering the OUT is THE MAIN SELLING POINT).

Still deciding what to do next week. I'll holla atcha later 'bout that. Jedi and Faith No More? Um, I'll holla atcha later 'bout that, too.

Whiskey in the Jawa

2006-07-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #146
"WHISKEY IN THE JAWA"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Dedication: The Very Best of Thin Lizzy. All eighteen tracks are arranged chronologically, and I'll be damned if these guys didn't get better with each passing year. It's a real shame Phil Lynott died so young. Who knows what hot cuts the world missed out on.

SYNCHS

- The line "in walked Captain Farrell, I jumped up, fired off my pistols" in "Whiskey in the Jar" coincides with the first stormtroopers busting through the Tantive IV door and exhanging fire with the Rebels.

- R2-D2 is seen rolling very slowly off center down a narrow hallway as the line "I got drunk on whiskey" is heard in "Whiskey in the Jar" (it looks like R2 is a bit tanked in this scene).

- The line "I'm a roller, too, honey" in "The Rocker" coincides with a shot of R2 (who, most of the time, rolls along to get where he needs to go).

- The line "I'm coming down" in "She Knows" coincides with the tube that sucks R2 up coming down from the sandcrawler.

- The line "gonna be a showdown" in "Showdown" is heard right before Luke tells his uncle he wants to skip out on the harvest to go to the Academy.

- The camera is on Luke as the line "this kid is going to wreck and ruin" is heard in "Fighting My Way Back" (Luke does wreck and ruin the Death Star later in the film).

- The "breakout!" in the middle of "Jailbreak" that begins the part with all the sirens starts at the same moment Luke starts running to the landspeeder, afraid of what the Empire may have done to his relatives.

- The torture droid is onscreen as the line "tonight there's gonna be trouble" is heard in "Jailbreak."

- "The Boys Are Back in Town" is playing as Obi-Wan and Luke are cruising through Mos Eisley in the landspeeder.

- Luke, Obi-Wan, and C-3PO are entering the cantina as the line "down at Dino's bar and grill, the drinks will flow and the blood will spill" is head in "The Boys Are Back in Town" (blood is indeed spilled in the cantina a few scenes later).

- Han Solo is onscreen as the line "you've got a bad reputation" is heard in "Bad Reputation."

NOTES

I'd like to thank Capitol One for completely ruining "The Boys Are Back in Town" for me. Even though I now have a pretty cool image of Luke and Obi tearing through Mos Eisley in the landspeeder attached to that song, it will undoubtedly be overpowered by visions of Nordic warriors running through shopping malls as modern day citizens look on in horror during future listens.

Why, right at this very moment the echo of a gruff Viking reverberates in my head, demanding to know what's in my wallet. Assholes.

You what's ironic, though? Or at least kinda funny? The Bus Boys, who are famous for their completely different "The Boys Are Back in Town," played at the Capitol One Bowl on New Year's Day of 2005. That screams intern booking mistake to me.

"Dude, I Googled that song, and their website came up! It said they did it!"

Maybe the reunited Thin Lizzy wasn't available. Who knows.

YOU: More like who cares!

ME: No one's making you read this!

Who Cares A Lot? with Empire tomorrow. Possibly Jedi, too. Possibly.

Rain Delay

2006-07-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today's experiment has been delayed due to rain. The JG2 stadium flunkies couldn't get the tarp over the infield quick enough, and now it's all muddy. We're just gonna have to wait for it to dry. Should be fine by this evening. Until then, we take you back to "Bloopers," already in progress...

5 Minutes Alone (with Vader)

2006-07-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #145
"5 MINUTES ALONE (WITH VADER)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The Best of Pantera: Far Beyond the Great Southern Cowboys' Vulgar Hits! Some title, huh? The CD itself is pretty long, too; at seventy-eight minutes, it's got more ass-ripping stomp metal than you can shake a bong at. Did I mention the damn thing also comes with a DVD showcasing twelve videos? Sheesh. You sure can't accuse Pantera of being chinzy.

SYNCHS

- The Star Wars logo appears at the same exact moment the drums and bass kick in in "Cowboys from Hell."

- The phrase "spread the word" is heard in "Cowboys from Hell" during the opening crawl.

- The Rebel soldiers are seen awaiting the Imperial invasion as the line "here we come, reach for your gun" is heard in "Cowboys from Hell."

- The stormtroopers bust through the Tantive IV door as the line "step aside, we're the cowboys from hell" is heard in "Cowboys from Hell."

- The first really heavy part of "Cemetery Gates" starts as Darth Vader crushes the Rebel soldier's neck and throws him against the wall.

- Luke is seen lying unconscious on the ground as the line "you're broken" is heard in "Broken."

NOTES

"Planet Caravan" almost started the moment Luke spied his dead relatives. It was about ten seconds off, I think. That's definitely the perfect song to have playing in the background the first time you stumble upon the blackened corpses of the people who used to cook all your meals and do your laundry for you. Well, that or something by Gravediggaz.

Skywalker Built My Hotrod

2006-07-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #144
"SKYWALKER BUILT MY HOTROD"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Greatest Fits, the Ministry hits collection. You know, Ministry, the hard-hitting industrial band that gets no respect despite having created some of the most brutal, intense music ever put to wax. Can't explain that one. Must be that goofy cowboy hat Al Jourgensen insists on wearing. Come on, Al, that stopped being cool even in an ironic way years ago.

SYNCHS

- The actual music in "What About Us?" begins at the same moment the Lucasfilm Logo pops up.

- The line "what about us?" in "What About Us?" coincides with a shot of the droids nervously making their way down the Tantive IV corridor as the battle surrounds them; shortly after this, an alarm noise is heard in the song that is reminiscent of the alarm in the movie (which sounds sometime during that scene).

- The explosion by the escape pod coincides with the end of all the distorted noise in the beginning of "Stigmata."

- Darth Vader points his finger at Princess Leia and accuses her of lying as the phrase "you've run out of lies" is heard in "Stigmata."

- A group of Jawas is seen as the phrase "thieves" is heard in "Thieves."

- C-3PO is seen talking to R2-D2 after the robot auction; the soundclip of the guy saying, "We're gonna rip this motherfucker off, we're gonna tear this motherfucker down!" in "Thieves" coincides with this conversation (it looks like 3PO is saying this to R2 about Luke, who has just walked away).

- The soundclip of some guy saying, "Get up, get on your feet!" is heard in "Thieves" just as Luke kneels down to clean up R2.

- The soundclip of George Bush saying, "A new world order!" is heard repeatedly as the Death Star conference room full of chatting Imperials is shown.

- The cantina band moves in time with "Jesus Built My Hotrod."

- The line "you got something to hide" in "Reload" coincides with a shot of Obi-Wan and Luke in the cantina right after Han Solo alerts them to the stormtroopers who are investigating Obi-Wan's "handiwork" (Obi-Wan and Luke do have something to hide; R2-D2, who is carrying the Death Star plans).

- The line "you say it's time to collect" is heard in "Reload" during the scene where Greedo confronts Han about the money he owes Jabba the Hutt.

- The line "time to settle the score" is heard in "Reload" just seconds after Han unlatches his blaster under the table in order to shoot Greedo.

NOTES

I went to high school with this disturbingly nice guy named Brian Lewis who was super into Ministry. He really got me interested in them (and alternative music in general), and he also taught me just about everything I ever needed to know about playing the guitar. I don't know if I ever thanked Brian for that, so I'm going to dedicate this blog entry to him.

I know, it's not much, but it's the best I can do right now. I lost touch with B. Lewis (as I like to call him) in 1996. If he comes back into my life tomorrow through the miracle of dumb luck, maybe I can repay him properly by teaching him a trade I'm highly skilled in, such as proofreading or copy editing.

The Gentle Art of Making Empires

2006-07-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #143
"THE GENTLE ART OF MAKING EMPIRES"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The first disc of Who Cares A Lot?, the double disc Faith No More greatest hits collection (which is apparently also available in a single CD version). All the FNM a casual fan like myself can handle. Tracks include "We Care A Lot," "From Out of Nowhere," "Epic," "Digging the Grave," and that hilarious cover of "I Started A Joke" (no pun intended).

SYNCHS

- The line "it's a dirty job but someone has to do it" in "We Care A Lot" is heard as the star destroyer is seen attacking the Tantive IV.

- A group of Rebel soldiers is seen racing down a Tantive IV corridor brandishing guns as the line "we care a lot about your guns" is heard in "We Care A Lot."

- C-3PO and R2-D2 are seen reacting to the star destroyer attack and ensuing chaos as the sarcastic line "we care about the wars you're fighting, gee, that looks like fun" is heard in "We Care A Lot."

- "It's a dirty job but someone has to do it" is heard again in "We Care A Lot" as the stormtroopers blast their way into the Tantive IV.

- The camera is close-up on Darth Vader for the first time when the line "who are you?" is heard in "Introduce Yourself."

- Princess Leia creeps out of the shadows as the line "from out of nowhere" is heard in "From Out of Nowhere."

- The line "one minute's here, and one minute's there" in "From Out of Nowhere" coincides with the long shot of the escape pod sailing from one end of the Imperial's screen to the other.

- The escape pod is shown floating down to Tatooine as the line "and you wave goodbye" is heard in "From Out of Nowhere."

- The whispered "goodbye" at the end of "From Out of Nowhere" is heard right before Vader walks away from the Imperial soldier who informs him of the jettisoned escape pod.

- The line "it's a loss, it's a win" is heard in "Epic" as R2-D2 is shown going a separate way on Tatooine from C-3PO (while the droids couldn't agree in which direction to go, they both ultimately end up on the sandcrawler).

- The krayt dragon skeleton is seen for the first time as the line "what is it?" is heard in "Epic."

- "What is it?" is heard again in "Epic" after the rocks fall near R2-D2 in the canyon, signaling to the droind that something may be awry.

- The sad, out of tune piano that ends "Epic" coincides with the Jawas carrying the lifeless R2-D2 to the sandcrawler; the final note sounds right after R2 is sucked up into the belly of the giant motorized junk pile.

- The line "I'm somewhere inbetween" in "Falling to Pieces" coincides with a shot of the droids aboard the sandcrawler (who are inbetween adventures at that point).

- The Jawa shuts R2-D2 off after the robot auction at the same moment the guitar stops in "Falling to Pieces."

- The line "with my mouth shut" in "A Small Victory" is heard as Uncle Owen refuses to discuss Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke's father at the dinner table.

- Luke stands up from the table, angry with his uncle, as the line "it shouldn't bother me..." is heard in "A Small Victory." The second part of that lyric, "...but it does," coincides with Luke's huffy exit from the dinner alcove.

- The phrase "high speed" in "A Small Victory" coincides with a shot of Luke and C-3PO in the landspeeder, racing to find R2-D2.

- The bomb noise at the end of "A Small Victory" coincides with R2's alarm going off in the Jundland Wastes, alerting Luke and 3PO to the Tusken Raiders.

- We see the Tusken Raiders dragging Luke into view and raiding the landspeeder from R2-D2's perspective as the line "you know I've done all I can" is heard in "Easy" (it's almost like R2 is thinking this as he hides in that little cave).

- Luke looks right at Obi-Wan as the "EWWW!" is heard in "Easy."

- The line "to reminds us we're alive" in "Digging the Grave" coincides with R2-D2 reminding Luke about C-3PO's battered body right before they leave the Jundland Wastes.

- It sounds like Mike Patton is saying, "it's out of this world!" in "Digging the Grave" as Obi-Wan explains the Force to Luke.

- Obi-Wan is listening to Princess Leia's hologram talk about the Clone Wars and the Empire as the line "the words are so familiar" in "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies."

- The lines "all you need is just one more excuse" and "I want to hear your very best excuse" are heard in "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies" as Luke explains to Obi-Wan why he can't go to Alderaan with him.

- The break in the beginning of "Evidence" (the part without the drums) starts at the same moment Vader begins Force-choking Admiral Motti.

- "I Started A Joke" begins the same time Obi-Wan whips out the Jedi mind trick on the stormtrooper in Mos Eisley.

- Obi-Wan grabs an angry Luke and makes him sit down as the line "take a breath and swallow" is heard in "Last Cup of Sorrow" (it's the part where Luke overreacts to Han's price quote, so it's kind of like Obi-Wan is asking Luke to "take a breath and swallow" his pride).

- The door outside the Mos Eisley cantina opens to reveal C-3PO and R2-D2 as the line "I see you" is heard in "Ashes to Ashes."

- The line "pick you up" in "Ashes to Ashes" coincides with Luke picking up his poncho off the landspeeder right before walking over to Docking Bay 94.

NOTES

For a second there, I thought Green Day was going to be dethroned. Close, but no cigar.

I can't say I'm surprised. It's Faith No More, for the love of all things holy. One of the most unconventional, innovative bands of all-time. Of course their greatest hits collection would synch up with Star Wars in thirty distinct ways. It only makes sense.

As I did with American Idiot, The Chronic, and Dark Side of the Moon, I will try spinning Who Cares A Lot? with Empire and Jedi, probably sometime this weekend. I'm interested, son. Mad interested.

Droid in the Box

2006-07-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #142
"DROID IN THE BOX"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Nothing Safe: Best of the Box by Alice in Chains. An abridged version of the Music Bank box set covering all the bigguns by these grunge masters. Includes "Get Born Again," which (correct me if I'm wrong) is the last song the band recorded before the passing of singer Layne Staley. Kind of depressing to think about, but it's the first track on the album. After that, you can totally get your rock on and not think about Layne's track marks or missing teeth.

SYNCHS

- The phrase "it's over" in "We Die Young" is heard as the Rebel being choked by Darth Vader dies.

- The line "scary's on his way" in "We Die Young" coincides with the escape pod carrying the droids on their way to Tatooine.

- The droids are seen walking through the barren Tatooine desert as the line "won't you come and save me?" is heard in "Man in the Box."

- C-3PO is seen walking alone through the desert as the line "I'm the dog who gets beat" is heard in "Man in the Box (later in the film, C-3PO is beaten up by a Tusken Raider, severing his arm and leaving him feeling rather worse for wear).

- The line "get on your knees" in "Angry Chair" is heard as Luke is kneeling down to clean R2-D2.

- The chorus to "Down in a Hole" (which includes the line "I'd like to fly, but my wings have been so denied") is heard as Luke stares longingly at the Tatooine sunset, wishing he could get away.

- The Tusken Raider pops up to attack Luke as the line "yeah, they come to snuff the rooster" is heard in "Rooster."

- The line "here comes the rooster" is heard in "Rooster" right before the Tusken Raiders drag Luke's body onscreen after the attack sequence.

- The line "stay if you please" in "Got Me Wrong" is heard as Luke is telling Obi-Wan that he can't go to Alderaan with him.

- Darth Vader and two Death Star guards are seen walking down the detention block corridor as the phrase "walk down the line" is heard in "No Excuses."

- The phrase "act crazy" in "I Stay Away" coincides with Obi-Wan making the hand gesture that imposes the Jedi mind trick upon the stormtrooper in Mos Eisley.

- The phrase "am enlightened" in "I Stay Away" coincides with a shot of Obi-Wan.

- The word "flying" is heard in "Would?" as the Millennium Falcon is seen flying through hyperspace.

NOTES

A few awesome moments here. I almost blew a gasket when the "snuff the rooster" synch happened. Completely amazing or utterly ridiculous? A debate that shall rage in my head all day.

Attack of the Best Ofs/Greatest Hitses

2006-07-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

One of the neatest experiments I ever did was this one, Return of the Jedi with Aerosmith's Big Ones. I mentioned in the notes of that experiment that I wasn't too keen on trying best of/greatest hits records because they aren't "real." Well, guess what? I'm kind of over that. I feel like listening to a bunch of songs I like next week.

7/17: Alice in Chains - Nothing Safe: the Best of the Box
7/18: Faith No More - Who Cares A Lot? The Greatest Hits (Disc One)
7/19: Ministry - Greatest Fits
7/20: Pantera - Far Beyond the Great Southern Cowboy's Vulgar Hits
7/21: Thin Lizzy - Dedication: the Very Best of Thin Lizzy

In alphabetical order even! That's some slick stuff right there, huh?

EDIT: Yes, I'm doin' all these rekkids wit Star Wars.

Found out the other day that the Star Wars Insider article/interview won't be coming out until next month. So all you rabid JG2 fans camping outside of Borders, feel free to pack it up and go home for a while. Your pets miss you.

Also, can't remember if I dropped this bomb officially yet, but I am currently without literary representation for Star Wars Ruined My Life. That's kind of okay, because I have major rewrites to do anyway. Still, if any big-time lit people who can make things happen are reading this and are diggin' the wordcraft, hit me up. I work best under pressure.

Millennium Falcon or Die

2006-07-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #141
"MILLENNIUM FALCON OR DIE"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

March or Die by Motörhead. Often characterized as the worst Motörhead album, which isn't hard to understand. Lifeless cover of "Cat Scratch Fever," acoustic ballad with Ozzy backup vocals, and a couple tracks that sound like they were ghostwritten by Poison. Not the band's finest hour, but hey, at least Slash shows up and plays some nice widdly-widdly for you.

SYNCHS

- The line "I don't know where they come from but they sure do come" in "Catch Scratch Fever" is heard as numerous stormtroopers are seen advancing upon the Tantive IV crew.

- The weird, phasery ending of "Cat Scratch Fever" coincides with the escape pod being jettisoned and soaring down to Tatooine.

- The line "cold steel" in "Jack the Ripper" coincides with a tight shot of R2-D2's silver dome.

- One of the Jawas bounces along in time with "Jack the Ripper" right before the robot auction.

- The line "gone out of sight" in "Asylum Choir" coincides with Luke scanning the horizon for R2-D2 through his binoculars but seeing nothing.

- "Too Good to Be True" begins as Obi-Wan removes his hood, revealing himself to R2-D2.

- The "watch out!" at the end of "You Better Run" is heard as Darth Vader begins moving towards Admiral Motti, who he is about to Force choke.

- "March or Die" starts as the Imperial soldier is seen marching down the Death Star detention block hallway after the door shuts on Princess Leia's cell.

- The line "the day has come" in "March or Die" coincides with Luke telling Obi-Wan he wants to go to Alderaan.

NOTES

Not bad, not bad. If this experiment were a member of the 1986 New York Mets, it would be Howard Johnson. Not crucial, but fun to watch.

Switching gears: it has come to my attention that the GSWSP is the second link that comes up when one Googles the phrase "Corey Haim/Corey Feldman fanfiction." If you think I'm kidding, go try it. This is because I once unknowingly used the terms "Corey Haim/Corey Feldman" and "fan fiction" in the same post (strangely, if you type in "Corey Haim/Corey Feldman fan fiction," this blog doesn't come up at all).

I don't know what's more exciting — the fact that people out there are so thirsty for Corey adventures that they'll even turn to fan fiction, or that the GSWSP comes up near the top of the heap in such a search. Usually visitors surf in here searching for "Jabba's slave girl" or "Han Solo's gun." To see such a deviation is both a surprise and a delight.

I'll be sure to inform you if anyone ends up here via a more ridiculous search. Until then, I shall celebrate this strange perversity of the Internet to the fullest extent of the law.

Interestingly enough, Feldman and Haim were once involved in a Star Wars parody on "The Late Show with David Letterman." The joke was they both auditioned for the role of Anakin in Episode I, unaware that they were in direct competition. So perhaps the weirdest aspect of all this is that no one has shown up here searching for "Corey Haim/Corey Feldman Phantom Menace" or "Corey Haim/Corey Feldman Episode I Letterman."

Of course, now that I've typed all that, someone undoubtedly will.

(Han Solo's Gonna) Shut You Down

2006-07-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #140
"(HAN SOLO'S GONNA) SHUT YOU DOWN"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

1916, the 1991 Motörhead whose title was undoubtedly the butt of some jokes ("1916? What, is that the year they recorded it? Ha, those guys are OLD!"). Contains the standard Motörhead fare, save the title track, which is a maudlin keyboard-driven tune reflecting upon a young soldier's death in WWI. Truly touching and heartfelt. It almost makes you forget all those pervy songs Lemmy wrote about touching underage girls and punching their fathers!

SYNCHS

- A Rebel soldier falls down and dies right after the line "you'll go down" in "I'm So Bad (Baby I Don't Care)."

- The word "die" is heard in "Love Me Forever" as the Jawa shuts off R2-D2 after the robot auction.

- Nearly all of Lemmy's "nananas" in "Angel City" coincide with shots of C-3PO waving his arms and begging Luke not to deactivate him after learning R2-D2 has run away.

NOTES

What can I say? This was less exciting than your average hour of QVC.

Ah, QVC. How I loved to prank call you during my formative years. Making up fake item numbers, complaining that I never received items that were never for sale, and generally harassing your patient, well-trained operators, none of whom ever threatened or hung up on me (which is more than I can say for those jerks at the Money Store — jerks!). You provided an eleven year old and his giggling friends with hours of entertainment, and I thank you.

Hey, I should call them right now and thank them! That would be funny. Better yet, I should call them from home later so I can record it. Then I can post the hilarious conversation as an MP3 file and become the toast of the Internets! Yay Internets!

Le Bullshit

2006-07-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

The French anamorphic OUT DVD rumor is, according to a Lucasfilm spokesperson, "100% completely not true." Apparently someone at Fox France had no idea what the hell they were talking about. Way to get the nerd world's hopes up, Pierre. I'm going to go crawl into my homemade bacta tank and sulk now.

Sock Ray Bloo!

2006-07-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

This article claims that Fox France has confirmed the original unaltered versions of the Star Wars films slated for release on DVD in September in their country will be anamorphic due to the "justified fan protest" over the initial decision to release them non-anamorphically (not sure if that's an actual word, but also not really caring right now). Here's a translation for all you ig'nant Freedom Fry eaters:

"To comfort the defeat of our France soccer team yesterday evening (which made it possible that the author of these lines won a bet), another type of victory has been brought to our beautiful territory ! The original versions of the first Star Wars trilogy, soon available in RC2, will profit from a 16:9 transfer! We are certain about it, because Fox France confirmed it who perhaps, one may never now, were concerned about the justified fan protests all over the world regarding the 4:3 transfer, and contacted the authorities. And to remain chauvinistic until the end, also let us add that the American discs are not yet scheduled to profit from the same preferential treatment.

"Announced for September 13 in France, these editions will each have two DVD's: one for the 2004 versions, the other for the original versions (1977-1980-1983 respectively). The DVD's of the 2004 versions will be again identical to the version which has been released one and a half year ago, proposing a THX approved film in a 16/9 & 4/3 compatible transfer in the 2.35 format, accompanied Dolby DIGITAL 5.1 EX audio tracks in French and English, and subtitles in the same languages."

The big question is will the American discs "profit from the same preferential treatment?" Most say probably, because it doesn't make sense for Lucasfilm to reward just one country. LF, of course, has yet to comment, but fanboys and girls across the country are waiting with baited breath for next week's San Diego Comic Con when it is expected that someone from the company will say something regarding this latest brouhaha.

Me? Sheesh, I don't know what to make of this DVD mess anymore. Even though I find the French dubious at best, I doubt they'd lie about Star Wars DVDs. Even though I find Lucasfilm dubious at best, I doubt they'd only release anamorphic versions of the OUT in France. Then again, stranger things have happened (Disney's Blank Check only available on Japanese import DVD? WTF?!?!?!)

If it turns out the Stars n' Stripes are getting anamorphic OUT on 9/12/06, great, they listened. That alone might be worth the full retail price they're suggesting. I'll definitely pick the DVDs up at some point and enjoy Star Wars for the first time outside of the VCR realm. If this is just another bullshit Internet rumor (like the one about Urkel committing suicide), I'll curse dvdrama.com and I'll curse Al Gore for inventing this stupid means of communication.

That's all I can really say until Comic Con, if anything even comes out there. Hopefully something will. Hopefully something will come out by tomorrow. Or tonight. Or by 1:30 P.M.

Darth Forever

2006-07-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #139
"DARTH FOREVER"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Orgasmatron by Motörhead, the 1986 album that delivered prime cuts such as "Deaf Forever," "Claw," and "Doctor Rock." Might have benefited from a more stable mix (I thought there was something wrong with my headphones when I first put it on), but a good solid chunk of rock nonetheless. Total shocker: the title track isn't about sex, it's about religion.

SYNCHS

- The line "cold embrace" is heard in "Deaf Forever" as the Tantive IV is "embraced" by the star destroyer (i.e. swallowed up into its underbelly).

- C-3PO is criticizing R2-D2's decision to get into the escape pod as the line "you make me laugh, you make me sick" is heard in "Nothing Up My Sleeve."

- "Ain't My Crime" starts as Princess Leia is brought to Darth Vader and given a chance to refute the charges against her.

- The line "I don't believe your lies" in "Ain't My Crime" is heard as Darth Vader is seen calling Princess Leia out on her lies.

- The camera is on Darth Vader as the line "I'm a lowlife, born and bred, and I don't give a damn" is heard in "Ain't My Crime."

- The line "watchin' me watchin' you" is heard in "Claw" as we see R2-D2 roll through the canyon from the Jawa's perspective.

- R2-D2 is rolling up to the spot where he gets shot as the line "he's got you where he wants you" is heard in "Claw."

- Right after C-3PO smacks R2-D2 on the dome inside the sandcrawler, the little droid wakes up and the lines "open your eyes, who's there, who's there?" are heard in "Mean Machine."

- The camera is on Obi-Wan, who is talking to Luke, as the line "I'll lead you to your destiny" is heard in "Orgasmatron."

NOTES

I laughed out loud at the "lowlife" synch with Vader in "Ain't My Crime." So fitting. The R2 "who's there?" and Obi-Wan "destiny" synchs were pretty rockin', too. I might go so far as to label them totally rockin', because that's just the kind of guy I am (an idiot who still measures things by how "rockin'" they are).

Luke of Spades

2006-07-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #138
"LUKE OF SPADES"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Ace of Spades by Motörhead. Tried this sucker once before with Empire. I honestly can't say my opinion of this album has changed since then — it still kicks ass. That right there sounds like something some metal guy would say on one of those "Top 100" album countdowns on the VH-1, innit it? Man, who knew Skid Row would get so much air time on basic cable this many years after the height of their popularity? Certainly not me, and certainly not them.

SYNCHS

- C-3PO looks up the moment Lemmy begins singing in "Love Me Like A Reptile" as if he can hear him.

- The line "you know I got my eyes on you" is heard in "Love Me Like A Reptile" as we see Princess Leia and R2-D2 interacting from C-3PO's perspective.

- "Shoot You In The Back" is playing as Princess Leia is shot in the back by the stormtrooper.

- The line "you know me, you know I'm wired" is heard in "Live to Win" as C-3PO is seen talking to R2-D2 aboard the sandcrawler (it looks like this is what 3PO is saying to R2).

NOTES

This one wasn't very ace, now was it?

[INSERT ANNOYING LAUGHTER]

So I heard this rumor that Lemmy can't swim. I would like to officially propose a reality show in which Lemmy goes to the Y, joins a beginner's swimming class, and learns how to swim. Can you imagine that big burly guy with all his hair and tattoos wading in the shallow end of a pool next to small children in water wings? The juxtaposition is hilarious! It's a fish out of water story in the water!!!!

Oh, I even know who could host it — Tony Danza! Man, I'm a genius. Someone get Garry Marshall on the phone. I gotta tell him he spells his name wrong.

(Sand People Have) No Class

2006-07-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #137
"(SAND PEOPLE HAVE) NO CLASS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Overkill by Motörhead, the charging 1979 album that brought the world heavy metal classics such as "Stay Clean," "No Class," "Damage Case," and the incredible title track. There's also a song called "Capricorn," which doesn't seem all that remarkable until you find out Overkill was recorded between December of 1978 and January of 1979 (thus making Capricorn its astrological sign). I'm not sure if that's really cool or really dippy, but I can tell you one thing: the music on the album isn't very Capricornish. Conservative? Practical? Yeah, you listen to that bass solo that comes out of nowhere in "Stay Clean" and you tell me Lemmy was being conservative or practical the day he recorded that. I dare ya.

SYNCHS

- The line "you're really just a jerk" in "(I Won't) Pay Your Price" is heard as Darth Vader is seen walking down the corridor of the Tantive IV after yelling at Princess Leia.

- The Jawa shuts off R-D2 as he begins to wobble towards Luke and C-3PO as the line "you don't belong with the crowd" is heard in "No Class."

- The line "get you smashed as a rat in some bar" in "Limb From Limb" is heard as C-3PO is seen on the ground, dazed after being smashed up by the Tusken Raiders.

NOTES

No overkill with Overkill then, right? Har har har.

Here's a link to something I wrote in a previous Motörhead experiment about the song "Overkill" and Star Wars. Maybe I should have saved that spiel for this experiment, but hey, what can I tell you? I was excited that day.

Don't Forget the Jawa

2006-07-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

This week is gonna be all Motörhead. Would have let you known sooner, but it was up in the air until like two seconds ago.

7/10: Overkill
7/11: Ace of Spades
7/12: Orgasmatron
7/13: 1916
7/14: March or Die

All wif Schtar Warsch. That's how Lemmy would say it.

Arthur Googy: Setting the Record Straight

2006-07-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

"IrishPitBull NYC" posted the following comment in response to what I wrote about Misfits drummer Arthur Googy in the Artoo Zombies experiment:

"Kid you have it wrong about Arthur Googy from the Misfits... Danzig was a Closet Nazi loser that disowned his whole band in 83 and hated arthur for telling him to stop contolling the money he gave to band members. Your information is based on pathetic rumor and regarding the commercials that is also wrong. Before posting nformation that you recive from unverifiable resources, try finding out what actually occured and consider Danzig's reputation for being a controlling bastard that left his band with all the rights and didn't allow Jerry to use the name until over a decade later and many law suits. Googy was the best Drummer the Misfits ever had and considering he worked on their best alnum "walk Among Us" and 12 Hits from Hell, he deserves more respect."

First of all, let me apologize for not making it more clear that the cheeseburger and auto-fellatio stories attached to Arthur Googy have never been proven to be stone cold fact. I thought that was conveyed in the manner I presented them, but apparently not.

For the record, the cheeseburger story has been documented on several respected Misfits websites, including the most respected of them all, Mark Kennedy's MisfitsCentral.com. Outside of the people who were in the band, Mark is pretty much the ultimate authority on the Misfits. If it appears on his site (which the cheeseburger story does, under the "4/15/82" entry of his timeline, citing a Jerry Only interview as its source), I'm inclined to believe it. That is, I'm inclined to believe that, according to Jerry Only, the Misfits got into an argument at a McDonald's on April 15, 1982, over how many cheeseburgers Arthur was allowed to have. I'm not inclined to believe this is the exact reason Arthur quit the band.

The self-fellatio rumor was something I got from the extensive Wikipedia article about the Misfits; mysteriously, it has been edited since June 27, 2006, and all theories as to why Arthur Googy left the band have been excised. It should be noted, however, that the Arthur Googy Wiki entry claims the drummer left the band because of "Danzig's controlling scum behavior."

I don't know what to make of that, but I can tell you that the original Misfits Wiki article stated that the rumor was based on a letter Danzig had written to a friend at the time which mentioned in passing Googy's alleged desire to fellate himself. After reading that, I remembered seeing that very letter scanned in and posted on a Danzig/Misfits website a long time ago; again, this is not conclusive evidence. The existence of said letter only proves that Googy may have once expressed the desire to suck his own dick and that displeased Danzig. It is no smoking gun proving that Goog was tossed because Danzig thought he was "sick" (my quotes, not Danzig's).

I will admit that I did not do any fact-checking regarding Arthur's commercial appearances. A Google seach for "Arthur Googy Burger King" brought up the timeline at OneThirtyEight.com, which was adapted from the MisfitsCentral.com timeline. It shows that sometime in 1984, "Arthur appeared in a Levi's commercial and may later have done a Burger King commercial (as stated by Bobby in 'Punk Floyd')." So the BK ad isn't confirmed. That's one thing I was wrong on, and I apologize.

I have been a fan of the Misfits for many years, and that certainly includes the contributions of Arthur Googy. His powerful style helped mold the band's classic sound, and I have often tried to emulate that style myself in my own musical projects. I respect him as a musician and as a person; he could have easily cashed in on his status as an ex-Misfit years ago, but chose not to. He's remained (happily?) missing in action from the punk scene for years now, living somewhere in New York and steering clear of all Misfits-related activities.

I should know; for a brief period in the late nineties, I was obsessed with tracking Arthur Googy down and interviewing him in an attempt to clear up all the rumors and get his side of the story. Despite the numerous privacy-violating technologies that were at my disposal, the task was impossible. Arthur Googy was too slippery to get a hold of.

Again, I apologize if it seemed like I was besmirching Arthur's name in the "Artoo Zombies" experiment or taking shots at him. I wasn't. I was just relaying what I thought were interesting stories concerning his departure from the Misfits. While I have reason to believe "IrishPitBull NYC" may be none other than the Goog himself, there's no reason not to believe he's just a rabid 'Fits fan whose sick of all the spin surrounding some of the more respectable former members. I can appreciate that. Here's to you, "Irish," whomever you are.

I Used To Think I Was Darth

2006-07-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #136
"I USED TO THINK I WAS DARTH"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Distortion, the 2005 album from Rev Run, a.k.a. Reverend Run, a.k.a. Joseph "Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo" Simmons of Run-DMC fame. Rev's first solo joint, and a short one at that; there's less than twenty-five minutes of boomin' beats and boisterous bravado on Distortion. Not exactly the most innovative or adventurous outing, but there are moments of excellence. I give it two and a half Chubby Preachers.

SYNCHS

- The second plane noise in "I Used To Think I Was Run" coincides with the Tantive IV soaring onscreen.

- Right after the laugh at the beginning of "Home Sweet Home," C-3PO looks up, as if he heard Rev Run's ridiculous cackle.

- The phrase "break time" is heard in "Home Sweet Home" as Vader walks down the Tantive IV corridor with that Imperial guy after ordering Princess Leia to be taken away (this lesuirely stroll seems like a small break for the Dark Lord of the Sith from his never-ending galatic conquest).

- The line "I'm ready to roll" in "Mind on the Road" coincides with Luke nodding towards the Lars homestead after agreeing to take in C-3PO (it looks like Luke is implying that he's "ready to roll" from the Jawa's auction).

NOTES

I think this is the shortest album I've tried so far. I didn't even realize how brief it was until I popped it in the stereo to start the experiment. So much for my thirty minute minimum rule. Confoundit.

Completey geeked out Star Wars link for the day: WWII X-Wing. Be sure to read all the comments. You think I'm nerdy? You don't know from nerdy.

Hell Yeah (Pimp the Death Star)

2006-07-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #135
"HELL YEAH (PIMP THE DEATH STAR)"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Revolutionary But Gangsta by dead prez. A controversial record amongst hardcore dp fans, who pinpoint it as the moment the two socially conscious rappers sold out ('twas released on Sony, complete with a Jay-Z remix and far thuggier lyrics than usual). I give it props, though, solely on the strength of "Radio Freq." Best anti-FM song since "Radio Radio."

SYNCHS

- The line "the police is nervous" in "Walk Like a Warrior" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldiers nervously awaiting the Imperial invasion of the Tantive IV.

- The phrase "we under attack" in "Walk Like a Warrior" is heard as the stormtroopers lay waste to the Rebels on the Tantive IV.

- C-3PO and R2-D2 are seen peeking out from a enclave during the opening battle as the line "we don't surrender" is heard in "Walk Like a Warrior" (the two droids don't surrender; they escape).

- The line "in the right place at the wrong time" in "Hell Yeah (Pimp the System)" is heard as R2-D2 is seen rolling through the canyon right before the Jawas capture him.

- The Jawas are seen carrying R2-D2 back to their sandcrawler as the lines "it's a daily struggle, we all gotta hustle, this is the way we survive" are heard in "Hell Yeah (Pimp the System)."

NOTES

Revolutionary But Gangsta was the first album I ever listened to on an iPod. For some reason, that seems significant. It probably isn't, though. It's probably just another one of those INsignificant media-related memories I'll carry around with me until I die because I think it holds some sort of significance. My brain is full of those. There are literally thousands of the buggers, clogging my gray matter and preventing me from remembering important things like my social security number and my middle name.

Oh well, what can you do? The first cassette I ever listened to on a Walkman was The Best of the Monkees!

Break Ya Restraining Bolt

2006-07-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #134
"BREAK YA RESTRAINING BOLT"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Genesis by Busta Rhymes, the rapper's 2001 effort noted for such tracks as "Break Ya Neck" and "Pass the Courvoisier." Not as inspired as some of his previous works, but still worth a copper or two. Hey, it beats the pants off of anything LL Cool J's done in the past decade.

SYNCHS

- Someone says, "movin' right along" during the intro as the Tantive IV is seen trying to evade the star destroyer.

- The phrase "knock any motherfucker who gets in the way of the power move" is heard in the intro as the star destroyer is seen firing upon the Tantive IV.

- The phrase "let's go, let's go" is heard during the intro as the droids are seen moving quickly through the Tantive IV corridor.

- The line "havin' these devils watching me" in "Shut 'Em Down 2002" coincides with a shot of the Jawas hiding in a cave, watching R2-D2.

- The phrase "hold up" is heard in "Betta Stay Up in Your House" as C-3PO taps Luke on the shoulder to tell him about R2-D2 after R5-D4 malfunctions.

- The line "now we sittin'" in "We Got What You Want" coincides with Obi-Wan sitting down on the rock as he reacts to hearing his name.

- "Give it away now" is repeated in "Break Ya Neck" as Obi-Wan takes out the lightsaber to give to Luke.

NOTES

Fresh out the gate, it seemed like a lot, then the crazy synchs just dried up like snot! Yes, I am the fresh rhyme master, the San Francisco earthquake was a goddamn disaster!

Updizzle

2006-07-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

Today's experiment won't be posted until sometime after 5:00 P.M. I apologize if this harsh reality totally bums you out. It's bumming me out a little, too. I'd get into the particulars, but I guarantee you there's something far more exciting on C-SPAN right now.

At least the band index is done. Scroll down a lil' to take a look. A couple of the links aren't working for some reason; soon as I can figure out what I did wrong, I'll set it straight like my name was, uh, Mr. Straight...guy.

Experiment Index by Band

2006-07-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

AC/DC

Givin' the Darth a Bone
Darth Eat Darth

AEROSMITH

Just Push Jabba
Droid (Look Like A Lady)
The Empire Strikes Gems
Droids in the Attic
Aerostar Wars

ALICE IN CHAINS

Them Bones (Are Uncle Owen)
Droid in the Box

ARCTIC MONKEYS

I Bet You Look Good on the Death Star

BAD RELIGION

Boot Stamping On A Rebel Face Forever
Can't Stop It (the Death Star)
Against the Gonk
You Are (the Death Star)
Eat Your Droid
Darth Sincerity

BEASTIE BOYS

To The 5 Banthas
Bantha Movin'
Root Darth
Looking Down the Barrel of a Gonk
Licensed to Ill (on Hoth)
Licensed to Ill (on Tatooine)
To The Jedi Boroughs
Return of Paul's Boutique

BEATLES

Here Comes Two Suns
Lucy in the Sky with Death Star
Good Day Sand People
Drive My Corellian Corvette
Please Please Me (I'm Uncle Owen)

BECK

Midnite Vultures of the Jedi
I Got Two Lightsabers and a Microphone
Odelay of the Jedi

BIG STAR

September Gonks

BLACK FLAG

Spray Paint (Vader's Helmet)

BLONDIE

Hoth of Glass

BUTTHOLE SURFERS

Independent Worm Cantina

CHEAP TRICK

Clock Strikes Ten Parsecs
(Vader's) At Budokan

COOPER, ALICE

Billion Dollar Banthas

CYPRESS HILL

Insane in the Motivator

DAMNED

Grave Darth Vader
Wait for the Bantha
Machine Gonk Etiquette
One Way Droid
See Her Tonight (Princess Leia)

DANZIG

Am I Vader

DEAD KENNEDYS

A Child and His Star Destroyer
Bedtime for the Rebellion
A Growing Boy Needs His Force
Terminal Jedi
Forward to Darth

DEAD PREZ

Hell Yeah (Pimp the Death Star)

DEVO

Whip It (the Empire)

D GENERATION

She Stands There (Next to Vader)

DIGITAL UNDERGROUND

The Humpty Darth

D.J. JAZZY JEFF & THE FRESH PRINCE

I Think I Can Beat Darth Vader

DR. DRE

Rancor With A Gun
The Day The Probots Took Over
Nuthin But A Droid Thang

FAITH NO MORE

The Gentle Art of Making Empires

FEAR

I Love Livin' on the Death Star

FLAMING LIPS

Talkin' 'Bout the Smiling Death Star Immortality Blues

FRANZ FERDINAND

Take Me Out (to Mos Eisley)

GENESIS

Selling Alderaan by the Pound

GERMS

Circle of Obi-Wan

GNARLS BAKLEY

St. Eisley

GREEN DAY

American Jedi
Imperial Idiot
Alderaan Idiot: Second Playthrough
Alderaan Idiot
Warning (Darth Vader's Coming)
Nice Gonks Finish Last
Gonk Stink Breath
Jawa Dookie

GUNS N' ROSES

The Blue Milk Incident?
Appetite for Star Wars II
Appetite for Star Wars

HELL, RICHARD

Rebels Beware

JAY-Z

Darth Off Your Shoulder

THE KILLERS

Vader Was a Friend of Mine

KISS

Death Star Rock City

LEADERS OF THE NEW SCHOOL

Jedis, Don't Teach Us Nonsense!

LED ZEPPELIN

Bantha in the Rain
The Droid Remains the Same
Going to Yavin 4
Darth I'm Gonna Leave You

LEMONHEADS

Hate Your Droids
Come on Feel the Stormtroopers

MEAT LOAF

Paradise by the Death Star Light

MEGADETH

Countdown to Mos Eisley
Jawa Sells...But Who's Buying?
The Empire Strikes Rust in Peace

MINISTRY

Skywalker Built My Hotrod

MINOR THREAT

Out of Step (with the Rebellion)

MISFITS

Artoo Zombies
Theme For A Jawa

MOTÖRHEAD

Millennium Falcon or Die
(Han Solo's Gonna) Shut You Down
Darth Forever
Luke of Spades
(Sand People Have) No Class
Love Me Like a Rebel

MUSTARD PLUG

Evildarthers Beware

NEUROTIC OUTSIDERS

Corellian Outsiders

NIRVANA

From the Sandy Dunes of Tatooine
Luke Skywalker Will Have His Revenge On Tatooine
Corellian Seafood
Come As You Are (to Hoth)
Blew (Alderaan Up)
Smells Like Droid Spirit
The EMpire Strikes In Utero

NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

Me & My Droid

PANTERA

5 Minutes Alone (with Vader)

PINK FLOYD

Dark Side of the Sail Barge
Dark Side of the Tauntaun
Dark Side of the Space Station

POP, IGGY

Beat 'Em Up (the Rebels)
Lust for Lightsabers

PRIMUS

Pork Jawa

PUBLIC ENEMY

Bantha's Gonna Work It Out
Return of a Black Planet

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

Songs for the Darth

RADIOHEAD

The Empire Strikes Bends

RAMONES

Rockaway Bantha
Rock n' Roll Hoth School
She Talks to Jawas
Chasing the Droid
It's a Long Way Back (to Tatooine)
Rocket to Alderaan
Now I Wanna Be A Good Droid

REPLACEMENTS

Cantina Jitters
Banthas of Young
Chewie's Got a Boner
Take Me Down to the Jundland Wastes
Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Wampa
Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Droids

REV RUN

I Used To Think I Was Darth

RHYMES, BUSTA

Break Ya Restraining Bolt

RUN-D.M.C.

Luke's House

RUSH

Tom Skywalker
Jacob's Lightsaber
Passage to Alderaan
Cygnus X-1 Bocchi II
Rivendarth

SAMHAIN

Dewbacks '88
All Jedis All Droids All Fun

SCREECHING WEASEL

Tatooine City Dream
Kill the Cantina Band
Alderaan For a New Tomorrow
Star Destroyer Fantasy

SEX PISTOLS

No Feelings (for the Empire)
Filthy Vader Live
Who Killed Greedo?
Never Mind the Banthas

THE SHINS

So Says Darth

SIMPSONS

The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie & Vader Show
Bantha on Board

SMASHING PUMPKINS

Tatooine Dream

SNOOP DOGGY DOGG

Gin and Carbon Scoring

SOCIAL DISTORTION

Hour of Darthness

SPLIT ENZ

Under the Wheel (of the Sandcrawler)

SPONGE

Wax Ecstatic (to Sell R2-D2)

THE STOOGES

Death Star Trip

SUICIDE MACHINES

Break the Gonk

TENACIOUS D

Tatooine D

THIN LIZZY

Whiskey in the Jawa

VAN HALEN

Hot For Greedo
Vader Down
Fair Warning (About Darth Vader)
Somebody Get Me A Bantha
Runnin' with the Jawas

V/A

And Then There's Darth
The Corellian Guy
Gonkbusters
Leia Than Zero
Lost Hanway
Luke & Han's Bogus Journey
My Two Darths
Welcome Back, Kenobi

WARRANT

C-3PO Pie

WEEZER

Across the Dune Sea
Weezer (the Blue Star Destroyer)

WHITE STRIPES

Dead Lars and the Dirty Ground

WHITE ZOMBIE

La Starwars Cisto

WHO

Pictures of Leia
The Droids Are Alright
Bantha O'Riley
I Can See for Parsecs
Jedi and Strange
The Empire Strikes Who's Next

WONDER, STEVIE

Another Star Wars
Songs in the Key of Lightsaber

X

Your Droid's Off the Hook, But You're Not

YANKOVIC, "WEIRD AL"

The Night Vader Went Crazy
Spatula Death Star
I Want a New Dewback
Midnight Star Wars
Mr. Darth in the Iron Lung

Jedis, Don't Teach Us Nonsense!

2006-07-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #133
"JEDIS, DON'T TEACH US NONSENSE!"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

A Future Without a Past, the highly underrated debut album from Leaders of the New School. It's a shame this one collects dust in so many bargain bins the world over, 'cause it really is something else. It's also a shame Charlie Brown, Dinco D, and Cut Monitor Milo never really went anywhere after the Leaders disbanded. You think Busta Rhymes is behind some weird conspiracy to keep his former homeboys down? Hmmm. Now that's what I call an unsolved mystery!

SYNCHS

- The "oh, man!" that is heard right before the start of "Case of the P.T.A." coincides with the explosion that rocks the Tantive IV.

- The line "what the hell's going on?" is heard in "Case of the P.T.A." as C-3PO looks up to the ceiling, wondering what the strange noises outside the ship are.

- The phrase "causin' aggrevation" in "Case of the P.T.A." coincides with a shot of the stormtroopers firing on the Rebel soldiers.

- The first chorus of "Too Much On My Mind" coincides with the first close-up of Princess Leia, who is trying to evade Imperial capture.

- The line "ready to go" in "Too Much On My Mind" is heard as R2-D2 opens up the escape pod.

- The phrase "get out" in "Too Much On My Mind" is heard as C-3PO gets into the escape pod following the explosion.

- The line "all by yourself in a little corner with no one to help you" in "Too Much On My Mind" coincides with C-3PO walking through the Tatooine desert right after the pod lands.

- The sandcrawler is seen carrying the droids over a sandy hill on Tatooine as the line "now you're on a mission to nowhere" is heard in "Just When You Thought It Was Safe..."

- "Sobb Story" starts as Luke realizes his Uncle won't let him go to the Academy.

- Luke and C-3PO look around the Jundland Wastes for Tusken Raiders as the line "watch out!" is heard in "Sobb Story."

- The phrase "peer pressure" is heard repeatedly in "Transformers" as Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke to go to Alderaan with him.

- Someone shouts, "What's up, what's up?" in "Afterschool" as Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin walk into the Death Star conference room (it almost seems like one of them coul dbe saying this).

- A couple of voices exclaim, "Ooooh, yo!" in "Afterschool" as Admiral Motti gets the Force choke from Vader.

- The film cuts to a shot of Luke right after the line "show me a hero" is heard in "Show Me A Hero."

- The line "all of a sudden, I got this feeling" is heard in "Show Me A Hero" as Luke runs to his landspeeder, desperate to get home to try and save his relatives.

- Luke is staring at his dead relatives as the line "ain't no way he goin' out like that" is heard in "Show Me A Hero."

- Luke and Obi-Wan are seen standing on the cliff with the sun shining brightly upon them as the line "it was a nice sunny day" is heard in "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles."

- Luke, Obi, and the droids are seen cruising through Mos Eisley as the line "continued on our mission" is heard in "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles."

- The line "tell me, what's your problem?" is heard in "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles" as Obi-Wan uses the Jedi mind trick on the stormtrooper (there's a mini-conversation going on in the song, and it looks like Obi and the trooper are the ones having it).

- The cantina band moves in time with the beat of "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles."

NOTES

Damn, Gina. Another pleasant surprise. Honestly, some of this stuff came at me so fast I could barely get it all down. I'd seriously consider doing this one again to make sure I got everything. Of course, I don't exactly have the time right now to do a repeat...but I should probably set some time aside later in the week. Leaders of the New School got me buggin' out, son!

Okay, I know, enough with the urban lingo. I can't help it. It's infected the American lexicon. Show me a person my age who doesn't use any street talk like that and I'll show you an Amish guy/girl. By gum, the Amish are the only people left on this planet who do not liberally pepper their conversations with "oh, snaps" and "187s." Contractions are still a sizable mountain to those people. They don't have time to grapple with "come correct, son" and "heads of lettuce."

That reminds me: I kind of regret not watching that silly "Amish in the City" reality show when it was on. I'm sure it will end up on DVD one day (probably in the bargain bin, right next to sixteen copies of A Future Without a Past), but I still feel like I missed something grossly inappropriate and alternately hilarious. I don't know if you knew this about me, but I'm a sucker for horrible T.V. If it's terrible, I gotta see it.

Why else do you think I was rushing home to watch "American Idol" this past season? I had a crush on McPhee? Get real! Watching those trained chimp contestants jump through the hoops "Idol" put in front of them was devilishly delicious! Those Ford commercials where they all did little skits and sang together? Oh, the misery! It was scrumptious!

No "Off" Position on the Genius Switch

2006-07-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's what I was thinking: putting links at the bottom of every post is a good idea, but an even better idea would be to create one giant index listing all the experiments I've done by band. Slap that on the sidebar, and anyone who surfs on in will be able to see if I've tried their favorite artist yet. So that's what I'm going to do; make a band index.

Because that's really the number one question people ask me in regards to the GSWSP. "Have you tried so-and-so? What about these people?" A band index would be a great reference, and it would be less confusing than weird, criss-crossy links at the bottom of every single post. More importantly, it would be easier for me to make and save me a lot of time (as opposed to editing all 180-something entries).

So disregard everything I said before. The band index is the wave of the future. I'll ballpark it right here and say it'll be done before Thursday night. That's a reasonable timetable, what with barbeques and rock shows and work and - oh shit, I gotta do today's experiment! I'll be back in an hour.

The Humpty Darth

2006-07-03T13:43:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #132
"THE HUMPTY DARTH"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Sex Packets by Digital Underground. Contains "The Humpty Dance," which I personally feel is the most partylicious jammy jam in the history of partylicious jammy jams. As Neil Young once said about Hendrix, no one else is even in the same building. Take that, Kid 'n Play!

SYNCHS

- The line "I'll shoot an arrow like Cupid" in "The Humpty Dance" coincides with the first exchange of laser fire between the Tantive IV and the star destroyer.

- The phrase "black people" in "The Humpty Dance" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldiers, who are wearing black; the next phrase, "white people," coincides with a shot of the stormtroopers (who are in white).

- The drums in "The Way We Swing" start at the same time the explosion that force C-3PO into the escape pod is seen.

- The line "it's not about you" in "The Way We Swing" coincides with Darth Vader waving Princess Leia away.

- The line "fool, stop tryin' to test me" in "Underwater Rimes (Remix)" coincides with Uncle Owen's reaction to Luke's desire to leave the farm.

- The Tusken Raider attack on Luke coincides with the weird breakdown in "Gutfest '89."

- The reporter at the end of "Gutfest '89" says, "It's a trip!" at the same time Obi-Wan reacts to hearing his name for the first time in so many years.

- The line "what's the matter, feeling blue?" in "The Danger Zone" coincides with Obi-Wan looking sad and talking about "the dark times."

- The next "what's the matter, feeling blue" in "The Danger Zone" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's blue hologram.

- The melancholy piano in "Freaks of the Industry" begins the moment Luke looks away from Owen and Beru's charred corpses.

- "Doowutchyalike" starts right after Luke tells Obi-Wan he wants to become a Jedi.

- Threepio's line about the filthy Jawas coincides with the line "if you're dirty, then go take a bath" in "Doowutchyalike."

- The cantina band moves in time with "Doowutchyalike."

- Han Solo introduces himself at the same moment a soundclip is heard of someone saying, "Let me tell you who I am."

- The phrase "act a fool" is heard in "Doowutchyalike" as Luke overreacts to Han's price quote.

NOTES

More than I anticipated. Nothing earth-shattering, though. Speaking in fragments? Love it.

Sorry about that. It's Day 3 of a four day weekend, and my brain has officially shut off. That's also why it took so long to get this post up today. I'm firing on like half a cylinder. That's just the way it goes when JG2 is on vacation.

Phew. Post done. Can lay down again. Food yummy. Fire bad. Johnny 5 alive.

Rap Attack 2

2006-07-02T12:59:00.000-07:00

"Rap Attack" is back, jack, so don't you gimmie no flack! I ain't smokin' crack, ain't gonna catch no heart attack! Check it:

7/03: Digital Underground - Sex Packets
7/04: Leaders of the New School - A Future Without a Past
7/05: Busta Rhymes - Genesis
7/06: dead prez - Revolutionary But Gangsta
7/07: Rev Run - Distortion

All with Star Wizzle. Yeah, son, gonna kick these jams out like my name was Smuckers! Word to Henry Kissinger!

Am I Vader

2006-06-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #131
"AM I VADER"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

The hard-rockin' 1988 self-titled debut from Danzig, the band Glenny D formed after Samhain. Well, he didn't really form a new band so much as add two new guys to the old band and rename it. In essence, Danzig is just a continuation of Samhain. Danzig the band, that is, not Danzig the person. Danzig the person is, in essence, just a continuation of Glenn Anzalone, some goombah from New Jersey.

SYNCHS

- The line "whoa, God above" in "Twist of Cain" is heard as the star destroyer is seen maneuvering above the Tantive IV.

- The line "not of this world, and nothing bites like I do" in "Not of This World" coincides with Darth Vader's first appearance.

- C-3PO is arguing about getting into the escape pod with R2-D2 as the line "choose where you stand" is heard in "Not of This World."

- The word "sand" is heard in "She Rides" as the camera pans across the sand dunes of Tatooine.

- The line "she'll take you" in "She Rides" is heard as C-3PO spots the sandcrawler, which takes him out of the harsh Tatooine desert.

- The second-to-last chord of "Am I Demon" coincides with Luke popping the restraining bolt off of R2-D2.

- As Luke is talking about the possibility of the droids being stolen and the mysterious "Obi-Wan" Kenobi, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru exchange knowing glances; during this scene, the line "can you keep 'em in the dark for long?" is heard in "Mother."

- As Owen protests Luke's desire to enter the Academy before the next harvest, the line "do you wanna bang heads with me?" is heard in "Mother."

- The Tusken Raider that attacks Luke pops up during the quick drum roll that brings "Possession" to a brief pause; the Tusken Raider jabs Luke with his gaffi stick at the same moment the song starts again.

- Luke wakes up after the Tusken Raider attack as "Possession" is fades out.

- "Evil Thing" starts the moment Admiral Motti says, "This station is now the ultimate power in the universe...I suggest we use it."

NOTES

Short but sweet. I knew that "do you wanna bang heads with me?" line in "Mother" was going to happen sometime during the Owen/Luke argument. How, you ask? Come on, bro. I've watched this movie five days a week for the past six months. I've got a pretty good idea of its pacing by now. If I'm using an album I'm familiar with, I can usually ballpark one or two synchs with a fair amount of accuracy.

Shane suggested I use that angle on here more often, posting my predictions beforehand and seeing how close I come. His track record speaks for itself (theme week, soundtracks), so maybe I will start doing that. Bales, you're getting a big thank you in the book.

Hey, I don't know if you folks noticed, but I added a new section to each experiment. "Related," featuring links to related experiments, will now always be right below the "Notes" section. I started this because I noticed a lot of people are surfing in to random experiments via Google. This new "Related" deal makes it a tad bit easier for those people to find the rest of the experiments I did the week of the one they happen upon. I will be going back this weekend and adding it to all the old experiments, so hooray for me.

Dewbacks '88

2006-06-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #130
"DEWBACKS '88"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

November-Coming-Fire by Samhain, the landmark release that dared to fuse goth punk with goth metal. Oh, that Danzig. A musical soothsayer if ever there was one. He even predicted the fusion of rap and rock years before it happened. Check out this quatrain he wrote during his two years in Paris: "And lo, the crossfader shall meet with the Gibson on the battlefield; the results shall render man and woman speechless."

SYNCHS

- A cymbal crash in "In My Grip" coincides with the door on the Tantive IV exploding into flames.

- The line "mother of mercy" in "Mother of Mercy" coincides with the first shot of Princess Leia.

- The line "let the worlds collide" in "Let the Day Begin" is heard as the Jawa pops out and shoots R2-D2.

- A cymbal crash in "Let the Day Begin" coincides with the spark that is seen as the Jawa affixes the restraining bolt to R2-D2.

NOTES

November-Coming-Fire? More like Album-Synching-Not! Am I right? AM I RIGHT? But seriously, what is up with Danzig's hair in the picture on the back cover? It's like, I've heard of trying to cover up acne before, but that's just ridiculous! Hey Danzig, it's called Clearasil — LOOK INTO IT! Here's an idea — stop lifting weights for two seconds and WASH YOUR FACE!

I hope you guys come visit me in the hospital after Danzig reads this, comes to my house, shoves me, and then breaks my leg when he falls on it after some unknown fat guy magically appears and knocks him out.

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist making another Tuba City reference. While we're on the subject, what kind of name is Tuba City for a rock club anyway? I came here to see rock music, not a bunch of tubas! Am I right? AM I RIGHT?????

The Big News

2006-06-28T17:39:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for this? Last week, I was interviewed about the GSWSP for an upcoming issue of Star Wars Insider, the official Star Wars periodical published by Lucasfilm. I don't know what's more surprising — the fact that anyone at Lucasfilm is aware of this blog, or the fact that they want to give me exposure in official literature after all the times I criticized the company and its namesake here.

Aside from being slightly perplexed about that, I'm totally stoked/honored/freaked. The interviewer showed me the finshed piece, which will appear in the next issue, #89. If you don't subscribe or your local newsstand doesn't carry Star Wars Insider, don't worry — it'll be online, too, at StarWars.com. I'll be sure to let you all know when both print and digital forms are available.

Let the media oversaturation begin. Rock n' roll.

All Jedis All Droids All Fun

2006-06-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #129
"ALL JEDIS ALL DROIDS ALL FUN"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Initium by Samhain. Danzig ups the spook factor on his first post-Misfits release by slowing everything down and drenching himself in blood. Hot traxx include "Black Dream," "All Murder All Guts All Fun," and "He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named." By the way, Samhain is pronounced "sow-win," and it means November in Irish-talk.

SYNCHS

- "Initium," the spoken word/noise piece at the beginning of the album, coincides with the production credits, title, and opening crawl; "Samhain," the actual first song on the album, begins the moment the opening crawl completely disappears.

- "Black Dream" starts as the stormtroopers are blasting their way through the Tantive IV door.

- The phrase "pretty pretty black one" in "Black Dream" coincides with one of the first shots of Darth Vader.

- "All Murder All Guts All Fun" starts the same time as the first Vader choke scene; the song ends as Vader waves for Princess Leia to be taken away.

- The pause in "Macabre" starts as C-3PO turns his body to watch R2-D2 rolling away from him; the song starts up again the same moment 3PO begins moving after R2.

- One of the cymbal crashes in "The Shift" coincides with 3PO hitting R2 on the dome.

- "Archangel" begins right before the first appearance of Princess Leia's hologram.

NOTES

That pause in "Macabre" with C-3PO really tripped me out. Very dreamlike. Actually, that's a good way to describe Initium on the whole - dreamlike. Maybe that's the power of suggestion; after all, the album does feature a song with "dream" in the title. Yet it does honestly remind me of the unconscious state. The vast amounts of echo and reverb, the bells and chimes that occasionally pop up, the atonal soloing towards the end of "Archangel" (not to mention all that low chanting in the beginning)...this, to me, is what a nighttime vision sounds like, or should sound like.

Of course, if you've read my dream log (link), you know I never have any dreams that resemble what I just described. Take for instance last night, where I dreamed the giant floating head of Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer was reunited with childhood pal Spanky McFarland on the deck of a sinking fisherman's boat. I think it was part of a movie or television show. Can't remember if I was actually on the boat or not. All I could hear was, "Spanky? Is that you?"

I've been meaning to move the dream log over to blogspot. It's on my list of technical things to do, which includes redesigning jamesgreenejr.com and making the GSWSP slightly more user-friendly. The latter is at the top of my list.

Big news to be revealed later today. Stay tuned.

Artoo Zombies

2006-06-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #128
"ARTOO ZOMBIES"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Walk Among Us, the 1982 Misfits album that gave the world such horror punk classics as "I Turned into a Martian," "Astro Zombies," and "Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?" Interesting fact: the drummer on this album was Arthur Googy, who was eventually kicked out of the band for either A) buying two cheeseburgers at McDonald's instead of the one he was allotted by Danzig or B) admitting that, if he could, he would fellate himself on a regular basis. Even more interesting fact: following his stint in the Misfits, Googy would appear in a number of big-time television commercials, including one for Mickey D's rival Burger King. I bet he got all the cheeseburgers he wanted that day (although self-fellatio probably still eluded him).

SYNCHS

- "All Hell Breaks Loose" begins roughly the same time as the Imperial invasion.

- A stormtrooper falls over at the same time the "rrrraaaauggh!" is heard in "All Hell Breaks Loose."

- The line "evil is as evil does" coincides with a shot of Darth Vader.

- The first "go!" in "Nike-a-Go-Go" coincides with C-3PO getting into the escape pod.

- The "go!" at the end of "Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?" coincides with the one Jawa motioning for the tube to go back up into the sandcrawler.

NOTES

Ever heard of that Misfits parody band the Misfats? They're four fat guys who dress up like the Misfits and sing Misfits songs with lyrics about food instead of demons and junk. For example, "20 Eyes" is "20 Pies." Hilarious, right? Well, those guys stole that idea from me and my friends. Granted, we only ever talked about Misfits food parody songs in the confines of my 1994 Toyota Tercel as we drove around the outskirts of Orlando on balmy Summer nights, but even so...it was our friggin' idea!

Sigh. Early bird catches the worm, I guess. Well, for posterity's sake, here's some of our ideas. Misfats, if you're reading this, what's below is now yours for the taking (if you haven't already thought of these brilliant ideas):

Mommy, Can I Go Out and Grill Tonight?
Devil's Chophouse
Night of the Living Bread
Astro Zingers
I Turned into a Marshmallow
Hollywood Baby Ruth
Where Eagles Dine
London Broil
Fry, Fry My Darling
Death Comes Roasting
Preheat at 138
Last Carcass
Some Kinda Ham

Around the time we came up with all of these, we also penned an amazing parody of Black Flag's "Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie" called "Kimmy Kimmy Kimmy," about Kimmy Gibbler, the neighbor on "Full House." I'm telling you, the world is lucky we got distracted by girls, chocolate, and Brit-coms.

Theme For A Jawa

2006-06-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #127
"THEME FOR A JAWA"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Static Age by the Misfits. Recorded in 1978, unreleased until 1996, worshipped by yours truly since 1998. I'm using the box set version here, in case you were wondering, which does not include "She," "Spinal Remains," or "In the Doorway."

SYNCHS

- "Static Age" ends as the opening crawl begins to fade away.

- "T.V. Casualty" starts right as the camera pans down after the opening crawl.

- The line "hold on, I think I have to puke" in "T.V. Casualty" is heard as we see the droids reacting to the massive explosion that rocks the Tantive IV.

- The "voices" at the end of "T.V. Casualty" begins at the same time the Imperials and the Rebels begin firing at one another.

- Darth Vader is onscreen both times the phrase "maggots in the iron lung" is heard in "Some Kinda Hate."

- The line "I got something to say" in "Last Caress" is heard as C-3PO tells R2-D2 he's not getting into the escape pod.

- The guitars in "Hybrid Moments" begin at the same exact moment C-3PO kicks R2-D2 on the surface of Tatooine.

- R2-D2 stops rolling through the canyon to look over at the Jawa at the same moment the first chord is heard in "We Are 138."

- The line "we need no introduction" is heard in "Teenagers From Mars" as the droids are reunited aboard the sandcrawler.

- The line "we want, we need, we take it" in "Teenagers From Mars" coincides with the stormtroopers searching the desert for the droids.

- The phrase "little angelfuck" in "Angelfuck" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- C-3PO hits R2-D2 at the same moment the last chord is heard in "Angelfuck."

- The line "you can't come inside" in "Hollywood Babylon" coincides with Luke walking inside the Lars homestead, leaving the droids in his room/garage (obviously, they can't come inside, probably because they aren't allowed).

- Luke is seen walking outside after the argument with his uncle as the line "can't believe the things that you say to me" is heard in "Attitude."

NOTES

This one was too cool for school. Or should I say too ghoul? Oh, I'm a regular Zacherley over here!

Extra freak factor: "We Are 138," arguably the most popular song on Static Age, was allegedly inspired by THX-1138, the first film George Lucas ever made. Ironically, George Lucas has probably never even heard of the Misfits and wouldn't know Glenn Danzig if he got knocked out on his front lawn.

There, I made the Tuba City reference. Now we can all get on with our lives. The stupidity of a faux-satanist in his fifties should not take away from the brilliance that same faux-satanist spearheaded in his twenties and thirties.

Moving on...I should try this with the other version of Static Age one time, just to see if I get more synchs. You never know. "Spinal Remains" could be a goldmine.

Mother, Tell Your Jawas Not to Walk My Way

2006-06-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

My good friend Freedom Johnson commented today that the general public has been "silently awaiting" an entire week of Glenn Danzig-related albums here on the GSWSP. Who am I to disappoint the (apparently mute) general public?

6/26: Misfits - Static Age
6/27: Misfits - Walk Among Us
6/28: Samhain - Initium
6/29: Samhain - November-Coming-Fire
6/30: Danzig - Danzig

Yes, all with Star Wars. That's just how I gotsta roll.

To all you folks out there silently awaiting "Rap Attack 2," "Super Sounds of '83," or any one of the other bajillion themes I've mentioned previously, please, be patient. All I have at my disposal is the public library, a small circle of friends (most of whom have the same musical tastes as I), and my own personal CD collection. It may take some time, but your theme will come.

To the 5 Banthas

2006-06-24T00:11:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #126
"TO THE 5 BANTHAS"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

To the 5 Boroughs by the Beastie Boys. Dropped in '04, this was a stunning, stripped-down return to form for the Beasties, featuring some of their dopest beats and rhymes in years. How can you hate on an album that samples "Sonic Reducer" and makes passing reference to Carl Sagan's turtlenecks? You just can't, my friends. You just can't.

SYNCHS

- The line "we need a bit more gun controllin'" in "Right Right Now Now" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldiers aboard the Tantive IV firing madly at the stormtroopers.

- The line "I'm gettin' kinda tired of this situation" in "Right Right Now Now" coincides with a shot of the droids watching the Rebels and the Imperials fighting in the corridor of the Tantive IV.

- The phrase "and I'm on my way" in "Right Right Now Now" coincides with the droids scurrying between the warring factions aboard the Tantive IV, attempting to escape.

- Darth Vader's choking victim dies at the same moment the backwards noises at the end of "Right Right Now Now" begin.

- C-3PO starts walking to his immediate left on the surface of Tatooine as the line "we need a shift on over to the left" is heard in "It Takes Time to Build."

- Ad Rock exclaims, "What the Helen of Troy is that?" in "Triple Trouble" as the strange, dome-shaped droid is seen rolling around in front of the sandcrawler.

- Someone says, "hey, yo!" in "Hey Fuck You" as one Jawa motions to another Jawa to prep C-3PO for sale; it looks as if the Jawa is saying "hey, yo!" to his friend.

- C-3PO is seen dipping into the oil bath as the phrase "dipsy doo-doo" is heard in "Hey Fuck You."

- The sample of the guy saying, "LAY-dee!" in "Oh Word?" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The line "the time and the place for the mind is here and now" in "That's It That's All" coincides with Uncle Owen explaining to Luke that he can go to the Academy after he does another season on the farm.

- Luke leans up against a wall and gives a dejected look inside Obi-Wan's home as the line "don't even get me started..." is heard in "Crawlspace" (his body language seems to be saying these exact words).

NOTES

Fairly off the hook, but not fixin' to blow up anytime soon. If I had to rank this bad boy on a scale from one to ten, with ten being more incredible than losing your virginity to Elizabeth Hurley and one being the equivalent of a reach around from Nathan Lane, I'd give it a solid six. That's dry humping the most popular cheerleader from your high school.

So I obviously received my new copies of the trilogy in the mail today (hence all the new words you can see in this here word space). Three cheers for gut instincts, eBay, honest sellers, the U.S. Postal service, and the general awesomeness of widescreen (in that order). Now I can focus on more important things, like what I'm gonna do on here all next week.

NooOOoo!

2006-06-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

The inevitable finally happened today. The VCR ate my copy of Star Wars. About five minutes into the To The 5 Boroughs experiment, the movie froze on a close-up of Darth Vader. It took me a moment to realize what was happening. In a slight panic, I leapt from the bed and ejected the cassette. A mile of ribbon trailed out behind it. The tape had snapped somewhere, so winding it back into its plastic casing was out. Believe me, I tried, frantically spinning those clunky white wheels around and around, but it was no use. Star Wars was dead.

Initially, I swore revenge on the machine, but then I thought about just how faithful my VCR has been for the decade I have owned it. Aside this incident, the only other movie it ever wrecked beyond repair was Tommy Boy. Oh sure, she's nibbled on tapes before, including this copy of Star Wars, but rarely has she sent a tape to Davey Jones' locker. She's been a good friend. Perhaps I was pushing her too hard, watching the same tape every day with no head cleaning inbetween viewings. Luckily, I have another newer VCR I can utilize for the duration of this project (and I'll be sure to take much better care of that one).

In another turn of luck, it just so happens that I have another VHS copy of Star Wars on its way to my home. Amazingly, I've never owned a widescreen edition of the trilogy, and about two weeks ago I decided I really needed one (not seeing that Tusken Raider Luke sees right before the other one attacks him was really starting to piss me off). So I went on eBay and bought a set that was supposedly only watched once or twice. It was mailed a few days ago, and if my calculations are correct, I should be receiving it today or tomorrow.

For a split second there, I thought about the new DVDs. Admittedly, a major bonus to purchasing them when they come out would be the elimination of magnectic tape-related accidents. However, I cannot go back on my principles. I paid ten bucks for the set I just bought. That includes all three films. The DVDs are going to retail at triple that amount per film, and the original versions included are only going to look and sound a little bit better than their VHS incarnations. When Lucasfilm decides to stop dicking the hardcore fans around and gives us a reason to stop clinging to our VCRs and/or producing laserdisc bootlegs, then I'll gladly pay whatever exorbitant amount they're asking for.

But I digress. If I get the new VHS tapes in the mail today, I'll complete the 5 Boroughs experiment after work and have it up by tonight (based on what little I did see, this one was shaping up to be totally off the hook). If they show up tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow night and slap it up Sunday morning. If they don't arrive until Monday, well shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I guess I'll extend the Beastie Boys into next week and try a few albums I haven't already tried with the still-functioning movies I currently possess (Empire and Jedi). When I get the new ones, I'll finish what was supposed to be today's experiment and drop it on your unsuspecting asses.

As for Big Bertha (that's what I call my old VCR), she'll still have her spot under the bedroom T.V. for now. She just won't see much action in the coming years. Maybe I'll give her a good cleaning one weekend when I have nothing else to do. We'll sit and chat as I take a toothbrush to her cold metal parts, talking up the price of gas and that new skateboarding chimp picture.

Bantha Movin'

2006-06-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

EXPERIMENT #125
"BANTHA MOVIN'"

FILM

Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).

ALBUM

Hello Nasty by the Beastie Boys. To paraphrase some guy on a Beastie Boys message board, there are a lot of bells and whistles on this one. That would be fine if the album was under an hour in length, but it's not. Hello Nasty clocks in at sixty-seven minutes; as a result, the album comes across as cluttered and somewhat confused. That being said, there are still moments of patented Beastie greatness, most notably the outerspace jammy-jam "Intergalactic" (which contains the ridiculous/awesome line "I'll stir fry you in my wok").

SYNCHS

- Right before "Remote Control" starts, someone yells out, "Brace yourself, fool!" This coincides with a shot of the Rebel Darth Vader is choking, looking scared for his life.

- As soon as the film cuts to the inside of the sandcrawler, the strange jack-in-the-box noises begin in "Just a Test."

- R2-D2 wakes up aboard the sandcrawler at the same time the voice says, "Ready?" at the beginning of "Body Movin'."

- The phrase "body movin'" in "Body Movin'" is heard repeatedly as we see the Gonk droid walking around (Gonk is, in essence, just a body that is movin').

- The phrase "body movin'" in "Body Movin'" is heard repeatedly again as we see the sandcrawler moving across the Tatooine desert at night (the sandcrawler is moving the bodies of the Jawas and the droids).

- The line "cast you off into exile" in "Intergalactic" is heard as R2-D2 is initially left behind after the robot auction.

- R5-D4 explodes at the same time a drum hit sounds during "Intergalactic."

- The line "all top secret and classified" in "Three MCs and One DJ" coincides with Princess Leia's hologram, which is relaying top secret information.

- A cymbal crash in "Song for Junior" coincides with C-3PO flopping the dead Jawa onto the fire outside of the sandcrawler.

- The phrase "comin' strong" in "The Negotiation Limerick File" is heard as Obi-Wan slices Dr. Evanzan's arm off in the cantina.

- The phrase "let's try to negotiate" is heard repeatedly in "The Negotiation Limerick File" as Han Solo and Obi-Wan discuss the terms of the proposed flight to Alderaan.

- Someone says, "you think I've lost my mind" (or something close to that) towards the end of "The Negotiation Limerick File." This coincides with Luke's upset reaction to Han's asking price for the flight to Alderaan.

- The line "the actions typically displayed" in "Electrify" is heard as Han unlatches his gun underneath the table while talking to Greedo in the cantina.

- The phrase "electrify" in "Electrify" coincides with Greedo being shot and his lifeless body hitting the table.

NOTES

Definitely some neat stuff here. I started using my regular stereo again, so you know all this shizzy is on time and comin' correct. I don't mess around, son!

Does anyone else out there categorize albums in their head by temperature, weather pattern, season, and/or time of day? To me, Hello Nasty is a cold, rainy day album. I'll always pop it on when the clouds are gray and the heavens open up. To The 5 Boroughs, which I'll be trying here tomorrow, is the total opposite: a nice sunny Summer day album, perfect to listen to whilst running through soft grass or washing your car.

Often this categorization stems from the atmospheric circumstances that were occurring when I acquired said albums, but more often than not it's just my personal belief as to when I think the best time is to hear the music in question. For instance, I purchased To The 5 Boroughs on the rainiest of rainy mornings in 2004, but I can't help that it makes me think of a warm July day and lots of outdoor activities.

You want other examples? Let's do some list action here, since I'm running behind schedule:

HOT N' SUNNY SUMMER DAY ALBUMS:

To The 5 Boroughs by the Beastie Boys
Raw Power by the Stooges
Nevermind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols
Anything by Guitar Wolf
Anything by AC/DC

MUGGY SUMMER NIGHT ALBUMS:

Road to Ruin by the Ramones
Nimrod by Green Day
Machine Gun Ettiquette by the Damned
Anything by Mudhoney

RAINY DAY ALBUMS (ANY SEASON):

Hello Nasty by the Beastie Boys
Peace Sells...But Who's Buying? by Megadeth
Rock for Light by Bad Brains
Anything by Alice in Chains
Anything by Pantera

COLD WINTER DAY ALBUMS:

The Bends by Radiohead
Siamese Dream by Smashing Pumpkins
Coral Fang by the Distillers
Anything by Ministry

COLD WINTER NIGHT ALBUMS:

Brain Drain by the Ramones
Licensed to Ill by the Beastie Boys
The Stooges by the Stooges
Anything by Run-D.M.C.

CRISP AUTUMN EVENING ALBUMS:

Basement Apes by Gluecifer
Youthanasia by Megadeth
Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age
Anything by Danzig-era Misfits
Anything by the Replacements

ALBUMS BEST SUITED FOR LATE NIGHT CAR RIDES ACROSS STATE LINES (ANY SEASON):

Paul's Boutique by the Beastie Boys
The Black Album by the Damned
Lost Highway soundtrack

You get the idea. That's just how I roll, you know? With the crazy mental weather/season/time of day filing system.