Thursday, January 26, 2006

Droid (Look Like A Lady)



Return of the Jedi (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Big Ones, the 1994 Aerosmith collection that gathered their biggest hits from the drug-free Aero era (or, as some diehards refer to it, the period when Aerosmith really started to blow). I could see my entire ninth grade year flashing before my eyes as I listened to this CD. As usual, I started it after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "you know who I am, but you don't know my name" in "Walk on Water" is heard as we see shots of an anonymous Imperial officer commanding his underlings.

- As the Gonk droid is being tortured in Jabba the Hutt's dungeon, the line "treat me like a bad boy" is heard in "Ragdoll."

- Oola falls into the Rancor pit at the same moment we hear the line "you're put out of ya misery" in "Ragdoll."

- The camera zooms in on Lando Calrissian, who is incognito as a guard in Jabba's palace, at the same time we hear the lyric "it was easy to keep all your lies in disguise" in "What It Takes."

- The first line of the chorus of "What It Takes" ("tell me what it takes to let you go") is heard as Princess Leia frees Han Solo from the carbonite.

- As Han is unfreezing, there is a brief shot of his face fading through the carbonite. The materialization of his skin coincides with Steven Tyler screeching, "DIIIIIIIICE!" in "What It Takes."

- When Han is thrown into the dungeon with Chewbacca, we hear the lyric "backstage we were havin' the time" in "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)."

- "Janie's Got A Gun" begins seconds after Luke Skywalker Force-snatches the gun to fire at Jabba.<

- As Luke runs between the Rancor's legs to the gate, Steven Tyler is singing, "Run away, run away" in "Janie's Got A Gun."

- A couple interesting moments during "Cryin'": the lyric "we're partners in crime" is heard as Luke looks at R2-D2 right before he's thrown into the Sarlaac Pit. Moments later, as Luke signals to Artoo to fire his lightsaber into the air, we hear the line "what you give to me takes my breath away."

- Various characters get shot or lightsabered as Steven Tyler sings the phrase "I'm dyin' to let you" in the choruses to "Cryin.'" On the particularly long "dyin'" he sings when the music stops near the end, Leia wraps her chain around Jabba to strangle him.

- As our heroes are flying away from Tatooine, the line "it's amazing when the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright" in "Amazing" is heard.

- "Crazy" is playing during the sequence where the Rebels are trying to scam their way onto the moon of Endor with the stolen Imperial shuttle.

- Steven Tyler screeches an "Ow!" at the same moment Han is struck by the Biker Scout on the moon of Endor.

- The jungle sounds at the beginning of "Eat the Rich" coincide with the start of the speeder bike chase.

- "Angel" plays throughout the entire sequence where Wicket the Ewok happens upon Leia and saves her from the Biker Scout.

- Right before Artoo cuts the Rebels out of the Ewok net and they fall to the ground, the line "you can help yourself from falling" is heard in "Living on the Edge."


You have not lived until you've seen C-3PO hobble around to the brassy bombast of "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)." I almost popped a boner.

This was one of the more successful synchs I've tried as of late, but the fact that Big Ones is a greatest hits CD makes it ring hollow. There's no real artistic flow to a greatest hits CD, no purity. It's just a bunch of songs you've heard on the radio a million times cobbled together in some random order. That magical "album" aura isn't there.

Still, it was lots of fun watching Muppets prance around to the mid-period Joe Perry licks that were the soundtrack to my early teenage years. Rock on, drug-free Aerosmith and Return of the Jedi!


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