Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Nice Gonks Finish Last



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Nimrod, the album that proved there was more to Green Day than barre chords and fart jokes. Best known for the tender acoustic hit "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)," which was featured in the next-to-last episode of "Seinfeld," the 1997 World Series, and your senior prom.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "hey mister, where ya headed?" is heard in "Hitchin' A Ride" as we see C-3PO shuffling down the hallway of the Tantive IV.

- During the part of "Hitchin' A Ride" where Billie Joe sings, "one, two, one, two, three, four!" there is a shot of a few stormtroopers, and you cannot see that there are four of them until Billie Joe sings, "four!"

- Darth Vader makes his entrance during the violin break in the middle of "Hitchin' A Ride."

- The phrase "hitchin' a ride" is repeated after Princess Leia has placed the Death Star plans in Artoo; the plans are "hitchin' a ride" on Artoo.

- "The Grouch" starts as Darth Vader is choking that guy on the Tantive IV, and we hear the lines "I was a young boy that had big plans, now I'm just another shitty old man/I don't have fun and I hate everything, the world owes me, so fuck you."

- Vader throws his choking victim into the wall as we hear the lyric "life's a bitch and so am I" in "The Grouch."

- "Scattered" starts as Artoo is wheeling through the canyon on Tatooine, where the Jawas are scattered around the rocks, about to catch him (or, you could look at it like Artoo and Threepio are scattered across the Tatooine desert).

- The line "I don't know where the hell it'll go" in "All The Time" is heard as Threepio and Artoo are shown riding inside the sandcrawler.

- Luke is bitching about going to the Toschi Station as Billie Joe sings the line "another wasted night" (I'm not sure what song this is in; I think it's at the end of "All The Time")

- After Uncle Owen orders Luke to clean the droids after his Toschi Station outburst, the line "another sentinmental argument and bitter love" is heard at the beginning of "Worry Rock."

- When Billie Joe lets loose his line of swears in "Platypus (I Hate You)," Luke jerks his head back to look at Threepio, as if he has said all these swears.

- We see Luke sitting on the floor of his home staring at Princess Leia's hologram when we hear the lyric "the future just ain't what it used to be" in "Uptight."

- It looks like Artoo can hear "Jinx," because after the "one, two, three, four!" he starts wobbling really fast to the insane punk rock.

- During the scene where the Tusken Raider attacks Luke, the lyrics "slap me on the wrist, stab me in the back/torture me, I've been a bad boy" are heard in "Jinx."

- Ben Kenobi is contemplating the name Obi-Wan as the lyric "Haushinka is a girl with a peculiar name" is heard in "Haushinka."

- The buzzing at the end of "Haushinka," which sounds like a lightsaber, is heard as Luke is whoosing his dad's lightsaber around.

- As the guys on the Death Star are talking, the following lines are heard in "Reject": "What's the difference between you and me? I do what I want, and you do what you're told/so listen up and shut the hell up." It looks like the one Imperial officer with the Ceasar haircut is saying this to Moff Tarkin, who makes a foul face during the line "shut the hell up."

- "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" starts as the stormtrooper in Mos Eisley waves Luke, Obi-Wan, and the droids to "move along, move along."

- We hear the line "it's something unpredictable, but in the end is right" in "Good Riddance" as Luke turns to Threepio to tell him it's probably best to abide by the bartender's rule of no droids.

- We see a shot of a couple stormtroopers interrogating a local as the lyric "hey you, where did you come from?" is heard in "Prosthetic Head)".

- The phrase "red-blooded American" is heard in "Prosthetic Head" as Han Solo makes his first appearance.

- The chorus of "Prosthetic Head" is "you don't know, you don't say." At one point, the camera is on the stormtroopers searching for Obi-Wan and Luke as we hear "you don't know." It then cuts to Han and Chewbacca for "you don't say." The stormtroopers don't know where Obi-Wan and Luke are; Han and Chewie know, but don't say, where they are.


Holy flerking snit, Nimrod just tied Dark Side of the Moon. One more synch and Pink Floyd would have been dethroned only a week after taking the Star Wars synch crown. Luckily for Waters and Co., I had to strike one or two questionable synchs from this Nimrod experiment. Sometimes, this stuff can be too convoluted even for my tastes.

That doesn't mean you can rest easy, Dark Side of the Moon - there are plenty of albums poised to knock you from your lofty position. Your days are numbered! I will go medeival on your ass! My defense is impregnable! I want to eat your children! Praise Allah!


That "red-blooded American"/Han Solo thing seriously cracked me up. It's so true. Han Solo is the personification of red-blooded American. Always carries a gun, clumsy with his emotions, bad with money, hangs around a big hairy guy, wears the same shit all the time...the only thing missing is a borderline psychotic obsession with sports.


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