Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Somebody Get Me A Bantha



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Van Halen II, the second outing from Eddie and the boys. Features the group's first top fifteen hit, "Dance the Night Away," as well as the beach bum classic "Beautiful Girls." Would you believe David Lee Roth actually broke his foot making that jump on the front cover? That's why he's wearing a cast in the picture featured in the liner notes.

As usual, I started this bad boy right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "broken down and dirty, dressed in rags" is heard a couple of times in "D.O.A."; both times, the camera is on Luke, who is in his dirty Tatooine clothes.

- The line "my heart, you're breaking my heart" in "Women in Love" is heard as Luke gets up from the table, upset over his Uncle's refusal to let him join the Academy.

- One of the "woooos!" in "Beautiful Girls" coincides with a shot of Threepio reacting to the Tusken Raider attack.

- David Lee Roth says, "I think I got it now!" in "Beautiful Girls" as Luke gets back up on his feet after the Tusken Raider attack.


Well, this one was pretty lame. Eight songs in before anything happened. I've said it before and I'll say it again: they can't all be winners, folks!

So I guess I picked a good time to do Van Halen, on account of the Michael Anthony interview that dropped this week. In case you're unaware, the portly bass player recently spoke to a Japanese magazine called Burn! and made a few shocking statements regarding the recent history of Halen. Here are some quotes, translated to English by a die-hard Van Halen fan known as jgdrag:

"Eddie did not want to let me participate in a reunion. The reason is because I acted with Sammy. And there were more few my rewards than VH brothers, but I had to obey a contract with Irving Azoff to participate in a reunion."

"When a reunion tour began in 2004, an old problem recurred among Eddie and Sammy immediately. Eddie did not like that Cabo Wabo tequila was sold on a large scale in a concert place."

"We were going to start it again with Dave three times. We were going to make an album with him, but his ego did not forgive the realization."

"When we gathered in a studio with Dave first, we played several songs, 'Hot For Teacher' or 'Mean Street,' etc. It was a very interesting experience and I thought, 'This is that magic!' And then Dave brought in a tape of Chemical Brothers, and said to play such a music."

"With Van Halen 3, there is only three songs that a band played with all the members. In 'Dirty Water Dog,' Eddie played it to a drum because Alex had divorces a lot of problems. When Gary entered VH, the band was in a bad state. Gary is a splendid human being. I feel that I am sorry in Gary."

"I never talk with Eddie since a tour is over, but I talked with Alex recently. The reason is because Greg Emerson who was drum technique of him committed suicide. Alex was awfully depressed."

"I did not play a base with 3 new tunes of The Best Of Both Worlds."

"I wrestle by activity as The Other Half with Sammy seriously in this summer. The reason is because VH brothers do not intend to play it for a fan. We are hearty welcome if they come out and want to play it together."

"I always read a fan site of Van Halen, and I pay attention what a fan thinks about."

Sounds to me like someone should have been filming all this stuff. Imagine what an awesome reality show they could have made. Forget that INXS "Rock Star" crap; I want to see the look on Eddie's face when Dave showed up with that Chemical Brothers tape. I want to know what the mood was like on the first day of that 2004 tour. I want to know Gary Cherone's side of the Van Halen 3 story. God damn, someone really dropped the ball on this one!

You see, this is why I need a job in television. No one cares who Flava Flav ends up boning. The people want to see bitter old L.A. rocker dudes slugging it out over tequila and the Chemical Brothers! Am I right, or am I right?


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