Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Can See For Parsecs



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Sell Out, a.k.a. The Who Sell Out, a.k.a. that one album that's supposed to sound like a pirate radio broadcast. Neat concept, good tunes, and funny pictures on the cover. Daltrey marinating in a tub full of beans! I wonder...did they dump all those beans after the photo shoot, or did they give them to homeless people and not tell them some guy's butt had been soaking in them for over five minutes? Now I know what to ask Roger when I meet him.


- The last horn blast in the commercial that precedes "Armenia in the Sky" coincides with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- The phrase "city in the sky" during the chorus of "Armenia in the Sky" is heard as we see the star destroyer lumbering across the screen; during the next chorus, the phrase is heard again as C-3PO and the Rebel soldiers hear the sounds of the star destroyer above them and look up towards the ceiling.

- The loud pop at the end of "Armenia in the Sky" coincides with the exact moment the door on the Tantive IV bursts into flames.

- The phrase "then I suddenly seen" in "Mary Anne with the Shaky Hand" is heard as Threepio spots R2-D2 with Princess Leia.

- The line "Mary is so pretty" coincides with the shot of Princess Leia removing her hood and ducking behind the pipes.

- Uncle Owen finally decides to buy Threepio from the Jawas as we hear the line "you still want me" in "I Can See For Miles."

- The line "I know you've deceived me, now here's a suprise" is heard as Luke exposes the bad motivator on the R2 unit the Jawas have just sold him and his Uncle.

- The phrase "relax and settle down" is heard in "Relax" as Luke is seen staring at the suns after the heated exchange with his Uncle.

- The Tusken Raider springs his surprise attack on Luke and Threepio as we hear the line "all the little kids were shocked when Silas was about" in "Silas Stingy."

- Luke is lying on the ground unconscious while the Tusken Raiders rifle through his landspeeder as the lines "someone will steal it all, you'll be lying in the gutter with an empty box, the thieves will be having a ball" are heard in "Silas Stingy."

- "Sunrise" starts as Obi-Wan reacts to hearing his Jedi name for the first time in years.

- The line "Rael, the home of my religion" is heard in "Rael 1" as Obi-Wan explains the concept of the Force to Luke.

- The line "now captain, listen to my instructions" is heard in "Rael 1" as Obi-Wan listens to Princess Leia's instructions via hologram.

- The line "he's crazy, anyway" coincides with Vader Force-choking Admiral Motti over Motti's snide comments.


This experiment came very close to not happening. As I was rewinding the tape from yesterday's synch, the VCR started to act up. It wasn't long before I heard that telltale crinkling sound that means your VHS is being eaten alive. The magnetic tape that was dangling from the cassette after I ejected it was more wrinkled than Abe Vigoda; I was certain the GSWSP would be put on indefinite hold until I could acquire a new copy of Star Wars.

Luckily, both the tape and the machine decided to cooperate after a little TLC, and now it works fine. Oh sure, there are a few fuzzy lines during that part where the VCR tried to have its little snack (the scene where Vader chokes the Rebel soldier), but that's it. The rest of the movie looks great, like it's fresh out the box. Why, you'd never know it was an eleven year old tape playing on a fifteen year old machine. For serious!

Okay, maybe if you had just watched the DVD of Star Wars, then maybe, if you were looking at my tape, you'd wrinkle up your nose and say, "Ugh, when did you get THIS? During the CLINTON Administration?"

Then I'd be all like, "Yeah...I did. You wanna make something of it?" I'd say that in a very David Spade-esque manner, sounding more upset and offended than angry.

Speaking of which, I really think they turned that "Showbiz Show" around this season. I watched it last night, and I laughed out loud several times. Way to go, Spade and Co.

Anyway, the only thing I wanted to say about the experiment itself is that I stopped at "Rael 1" because that's where the original version of the album ended, even though I have the CD rerelease that contains ten bonus tracks and extends Sell Out past seventy minutes. If you haven't figured it out already, I'm kind of purist.


Blogger R2K said...

: )

5:36 AM  
Blogger tervin said...

I can always count on you for an Abe Vigoda reference.

As always, I am impressed by your perseverance.

9:40 AM  

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