Monday, April 03, 2006

Please Please Me (I'm Uncle Owen)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Please Please Me by the Beatles. Their debut record (released in America as Introducing... The Beatles). Nearly every single song is about stupid gross girls and being in yucky love with them. "I Saw Her Standing There," "Love Me Do," "P.S. I Love You," "Please Please Me," etc. What a bunch of saps. Didn't anyone ever tell these guys love is not for real and the girls who tell you they love you at Wal-Mart are completely full of it? I guess not.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- "Misery" plays during the Imperial invasion.

- The phrase "set you free, girl" in "Anna (Go to Him)" is heard as Princess Leia is seen with R2-D2 (who is directly responsible for setting her free - if you don't believe me, watch the rest of the movie, ya hump!).

- The last chorus of "go with him" in "Anna (Go to Him)" is heard as Princess Leia stops in front of Darth Vader (who she reluctantly has to go with).

- The line "my baby's got me locked up in chains" in "Chains" is heard as Princess Leia is handcuffed in front of Vader.

- The word "blue" is heard twice in "Ask Me Why"; both times, the camera is close on R2-D2 and we can see his numerous blue parts very clearly.

- Threepio hits Artoo on the dome at the same exact moment we hear a "c'mon" in "Please Please Me."


There used to be this oldies station in Orlando called Cool 105.9 that would only play Beatles songs from this record. The one exception was "Drive My Car," which they would bust out every day at rush hour for the "Five O'Clock Traffic Jam" or whatever the hell it was called. I could hear the ghosts of 105.9's deejays in the back of my mind during this experiment, yammering on and on inbetween songs like they used oh so many years ago.

Not that they're all literally dead, mind you. Cool FM wasn't wiped out by a freak asteroid or a carbon monoxide leak; they just moved around on the dial until they became a Latin station a couple of years ago. All the super-jazzed oldies deejays faded away, and now they only exist in my memory. Oh, one or two of them might actually be dead, doomed to haunt the fourth floor restroom in the Orlando Clear Channel building until Herman's Hermits are back in regular rotation, but I bet the majority either retired or moved to satellite.

That's the thing about being an oldies deejay - you're pretty much expected to work well into your sixties, possibly even your seventies. The older you are, the better. Expiring on air is a real possibility. It's the complete opposite of modern rock radio. Hey, I'm all for it. The geezers need to have their freak-outs, too. I'll raise my fist for Cousin Brucie any day.

Oh, Cousin Brucie. My mom hates that guy. Which is funny, because my dad loves him. If my folks ever get divorced, that's going to come up at some point in the proceedings. My mother will cite excessive adoration of New York radio personality Cousin Brucie as a reason for marital dischord. They may even call him to testify. I wonder if that's ever happened before. A marraige breaking up because of an oldies deejay.

Screamin' Steve says stay tuned, kids, and find out! YEEOOWW!


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