Monday, April 24, 2006

Spray Paint (Vader's Helmet)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Damaged by Black Flag, the legendary hardcore group's first full-length album. Also their first outing with singer Henry Rollins. Contains numerous classic Flag cuts, including "Rise Above," "T.V. Party," "Depression," and "Damaged I." 'Twas the subject of a big legal mess after MCA Prez Al Bergamo refused to distribute it due to the "anti-parent" nature of the lyrics; BF decided to distribute Damaged themselves, got sued for breach of contract, and couldn't release anything afterwards for two years. All the more reason to just do it yourself in the first place, kids!


- The pick slide at the beginning of "Rise Above" coincides with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- When the cymbal taps in "Six Pack" begin, C-3PO and the Rebel soldiers aboard the Tantive IV look up, as if they can hear them.

- The guitar in "Six Pack" starts as the stormtroopers start coming through the blasted Tantive IV door.

- The lyric "I'm cheated by what I see" is heard in "What I See" as Darth Vader chokes the Rebel soldier, angry that he cannot locate the stolen Death Star plans.

- The line "I wanna live" in "What I See" coincides with Threepio deciding to get into the escape pod after the nearby explosion.

- The phrase "it's broken!" is heard in "T.V. Party" right before Threepio kicks Artoo on Tatooine.

- Right after Artoo is sucked up into the sandcrawler, the line "they put me away" is heard in "Police Story."

- The line "there ain't no relief for a person like me" in "Depression" coincides with the first shot of Luke.

- The line "keep me alive, only you can do it" in "Room 13" coincides with Artoo being chosen by Luke and Uncle Owen as a replacement for the busted R5-D4.

- Luke is in his room bitching about being stuck on Tatooine as the line "it's hard to survive, don't know if I can do it" is heard in "Room 13."

- The first bass thump of "No More" is heard as Luke says to his Uncle, "I've also been thinking about our agreement..."; the thumps continue, getting faster and faster as the two begin arguing about Luke's future. The actual song starts right as the film cuts to Luke staring at the sunset, and the lines "I won't believe that this is all, I'm not happy, I'm not free" are heard.

- The line "maniacs!" is repeated as we see the Tusken Raiders mounting their Banthas; it is heard again as Artoo's sensors go off in the Jundland Wastes, warning Luke and Threepio of the Tusken Raiders' presence.


Impressive. Most impressive. This experiment was full of surprises...but it is not a Jedi yet. Nor will it ever be, since it's quite impossible for a non-tangible object such as a scientific experiment (and I use the word "scientific" very loosely) to undertake a spiritual and/or religious journey...especially a fictional one!

Oh wait, according to the 2001 Australian census, Jedi is a real religion now. Whoops. I apologize if I offended anyone in my vast Aussie fanbase with the preceding paragraph. Here, let me make an official statement:

"I suppose if I had said Vulcans were fictional, I would have gotten away with it. I'm sorry I opened my mouth. I'm not anti-Yoda, anti-Kenobi, or anti-Jedi. I wasn't knocking it or putting it down. I was just saying it as a fact and it's true more for America than Australia. I'm not saying that we're better or greater, or comparing, I don't know, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor with Qui-Gon Jinn as a person or Jedi as a thing or whatever it is. I just said what I said and it was wrong. Or it was taken wrong. And now it's all this."

Phew. That oughtta hold the little S.O.B.s.

P.S. - This post would have been up sooner, but blogger was acting a fool.


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