Monday, May 15, 2006

Blew (Alderaan Up)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Bleach, Nirvana's 1989 debut. Recorded for something like $606.52, a bill that was footed by forgotten second guitarist Jason Everman. Ironic, considering he didn't play a single note on the album (although he did get his name in the liner notes). This sucker contains "Floyd the Barber," my favorite song about a beloved 1950s television character going on a homicidal rampage.


- The guitar in "Blew" begins the same moment the Lucasfilm logo appears.

- The line "come on in" in "Floyd the Barber" coincides with a shot of the Tantive IV door, which the stormtroopers blast through moments later.

- The line "you hang me out to dry" in "About a Girl" is heard as Darth Vader slowly lifts his choking victim off the ground.

- The camera is on R2-D2 as the line "cannot look me in the eyes" is heard in "Paper Cuts" (you cannot look R2-D2 in the eyes because he doesn't really have any).

- The line "this is getting to be a drone" is heard in "Negative Creep" as Luke complains about how unhappy he is to be on Tatooine.

- The line "daddy's little girl ain't a girl no more" in "Negative Creep" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- Luke is on the ground, looking up at Ben Kenobi as the line "help me trust your mighty wisdom" is heard in "Mr. Moustache."

- The first line of "Big Cheese," which is "big cheese," coincides with the first close-up shot of Grand Moff Tarkin (who is the Death Star's big cheese).

- The wailing guitar in "Downer" begins the same moment the camera cuts to Leia's horrified reaction to the torture droid.


This is the first experiment in which something has synched up with the Lucasfilm logo. This should come as no surprise, but I really hate that new style Lucasfilm logo. You know, the one that's all regal and fancy-looking and sparkly. Here it is:

It's so Lisa Frank. All it needs is a unicorn and a rainbow. I hate it. I much prefer the original, non-sparkling version:

Simple, understated, easy to read. It's the kind of logo that says, "Hey, this film was made in the seventies. Seriously. Burt Reynolds was this close to playing Han Solo."

As far as I'm concerned, that glittering green monster should be relegated to video games and corporate letterhead. I'll be pretty bummed if they slap it in front of the original theatrical versions on the forthcoming DVDs, but I don't think they will. Unlike a lot of Star Wars fans right now, I'm staying optimistic. There's no reason not to take that Lucasfilm press release at face value.

That's me, good ol' optimistic Jim Greene! Can't hear anything negative outta me regarding future events! Just a positive, upbeat attitude. Why, that's what bein' optimistic is all about!


Blogger tervin said...

Oh my god - Lisa Frank. You went there.

And I am laughing.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

care to bet a Finsky that the new Star Wars DVD of the original trilogy will have the Lisa Frank logo?


4:45 AM  
Blogger james said...

I'll take that bet. Just so we're clear, the bet is that the Lisa Frank logo won't be present before the original versions of the films. I say it won't, you say it will. Bet's on.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the Lisa Frank logo is there I win, If it's not you win 5 big boys


7:20 AM  

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