Thursday, May 18, 2006

Luke Skywalker Will Have His Revenge On Tatooine



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


In Utero by Nirvana. The last album the band made before Kurt decided to check out. Features such classics as "Heart-Shaped Box," "Rape Me," and "All Apologies." Recorded at the famous Pachyderm Studios in Cannon Falls, Minnesota, by Steve "I Eat Beef Jerky Without Removing the Wrapper" Albini. He didn't produce In Utero, he recorded it. That's his thing. He's not a producer, he's a recorder. Hey, it's a free country. Call yourself what you want, bro!


- The start of the regular guitar riff in "Scentless Apprentice" coincides with the first appearance of stormtroopers.

- The lines "go away, get away, get away" are heard in "Scentless Apprentice" as the droids make their hasty exit from the Tantive IV via escape pod.

- The line "hey, wait" in "Heart-Shaped Box" is heard as C-3PO turns around and questions R2-D2 about his sense of direction on Tatooine.

- The line "I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap" in "Heart-Shaped Box" is heard the same time C-3PO is wandering through the desert alone, complaining about R2-D2 "tricking" him into getting lost.

- "Milk It" starts around the time of the infamous blue milk scene.

- Luke is complaining to his uncle about wanting to leave the farm as the line "I don't need a host to live" is heard in "Milk It."

- The repeated line of "cold heart" in "tourette's" coincides with a long close-up of Grand Moff Tarkin.


According to the Internet, Kurt Cobain is screaming the phrase "doll steak" in the chorus of "Milk It." To me, it sounds like "don't stay." I'll admit, it's a tough call. He very well could be screaming "doll steak." If he isn't, if the line really is "don't stay," then we have one more synch. That line is heard right before Luke gets up from the table and walks out on his aunt and uncle.

Yeah, I suppose I could peruse some tricked out Nirvana fan sites to figure this one out, but there are more important matters at hand. Namely, the brewing Star Wars DVD controversy.

Nerds are really starting to freak out over how the original versions of Star Wars, Empire, and Jedi will be presented on the forthcoming DVDs. Official Lucasfilm literature so far has been vague at best, leading to the inevitable deluge of unfounded rumors and wild speculation. The latest flame-up is over the widescreen option of each unaltered film supposedly not being anamorphic. That means it won't look as good as it could on a fancy widescreen HD television set. This has really chafed some cabooses out there, and I've read a handful of message board diatribes that could easily be admitted as evidence in a criminal trial should anything dastardly befall George Lucas.

If I may be allowed a statement: Nerds, calm the f down. Although Lucasfilm's handling of the unaltered trilogy has been rather shameful in recent years, there is no hard evidence yet that these DVDs will be inferior product. Yes, the cover art is wretched. The fact that our beloved films are playing the "bonus material" role to the 2004 reduxes is even more wretched. However, we have no idea how the actual movies themselves will look or sound yet. Please, for the children's sake, calm the f down.

DarthFirst, the guy/girl/thing who leaked the 2004 DVD set to the Internet months in advance, has said the anamorphic thing is bunk, that the non-CGI, pre-Jar Jar movies we hold so dear to our hearts will be up to 2006 DVD viewing snuff. I'm willing to put my faith in his word. For the love of all that is holy, I implore you - calm the f down.

Now, if these DVDs come out and they do suck-diddly-uck, then we can take the revolution to the streets. Until then, I suggest you take a few minutes each day to relax and recharge your batteries. Turn off your computer, walk out to your mailbox, and marvel at the wonder that is fresh air and natural light. Do this for about five minutes each day and you'll eventually start to realize that virtual lynchings are not the best way to vent your frustrations.

Thank you for your time, and drive home safely.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe that he's saying "Doll Steak" not "Doll Meat" and I believe it's in the lyric sheets in the CD insert.


7:15 AM  
Blogger james said...

Oh, duh, I meant to type "steak."

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, i think its doll steak/test meat. oh that wacky k.c.


9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

also, non anamorphic would indeed look bad on a widescreen tv. it would have black bars and the top, bottom, and sides, so it would basically be like looking at a little box in the middle of the tv. i think they stopped making non anamorphic dvds in like 1998.


9:48 AM  

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