Saturday, June 24, 2006

To the 5 Banthas



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


To the 5 Boroughs by the Beastie Boys. Dropped in '04, this was a stunning, stripped-down return to form for the Beasties, featuring some of their dopest beats and rhymes in years. How can you hate on an album that samples "Sonic Reducer" and makes passing reference to Carl Sagan's turtlenecks? You just can't, my friends. You just can't.


- The line "we need a bit more gun controllin'" in "Right Right Now Now" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldiers aboard the Tantive IV firing madly at the stormtroopers.

- The line "I'm gettin' kinda tired of this situation" in "Right Right Now Now" coincides with a shot of the droids watching the Rebels and the Imperials fighting in the corridor of the Tantive IV.

- The phrase "and I'm on my way" in "Right Right Now Now" coincides with the droids scurrying between the warring factions aboard the Tantive IV, attempting to escape.

- Darth Vader's choking victim dies at the same moment the backwards noises at the end of "Right Right Now Now" begin.

- C-3PO starts walking to his immediate left on the surface of Tatooine as the line "we need a shift on over to the left" is heard in "It Takes Time to Build."

- Ad Rock exclaims, "What the Helen of Troy is that?" in "Triple Trouble" as the strange, dome-shaped droid is seen rolling around in front of the sandcrawler.

- Someone says, "hey, yo!" in "Hey Fuck You" as one Jawa motions to another Jawa to prep C-3PO for sale; it looks as if the Jawa is saying "hey, yo!" to his friend.

- C-3PO is seen dipping into the oil bath as the phrase "dipsy doo-doo" is heard in "Hey Fuck You."

- The sample of the guy saying, "LAY-dee!" in "Oh Word?" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The line "the time and the place for the mind is here and now" in "That's It That's All" coincides with Uncle Owen explaining to Luke that he can go to the Academy after he does another season on the farm.

- Luke leans up against a wall and gives a dejected look inside Obi-Wan's home as the line "don't even get me started..." is heard in "Crawlspace" (his body language seems to be saying these exact words).


Fairly off the hook, but not fixin' to blow up anytime soon. If I had to rank this bad boy on a scale from one to ten, with ten being more incredible than losing your virginity to Elizabeth Hurley and one being the equivalent of a reach around from Nathan Lane, I'd give it a solid six. That's dry humping the most popular cheerleader from your high school.

So I obviously received my new copies of the trilogy in the mail today (hence all the new words you can see in this here word space). Three cheers for gut instincts, eBay, honest sellers, the U.S. Postal service, and the general awesomeness of widescreen (in that order). Now I can focus on more important things, like what I'm gonna do on here all next week.


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