Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Gentle Art of Making Empires



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


The first disc of Who Cares A Lot?, the double disc Faith No More greatest hits collection (which is apparently also available in a single CD version). All the FNM a casual fan like myself can handle. Tracks include "We Care A Lot," "From Out of Nowhere," "Epic," "Digging the Grave," and that hilarious cover of "I Started A Joke" (no pun intended).


- The line "it's a dirty job but someone has to do it" in "We Care A Lot" is heard as the star destroyer is seen attacking the Tantive IV.

- A group of Rebel soldiers is seen racing down a Tantive IV corridor brandishing guns as the line "we care a lot about your guns" is heard in "We Care A Lot."

- C-3PO and R2-D2 are seen reacting to the star destroyer attack and ensuing chaos as the sarcastic line "we care about the wars you're fighting, gee, that looks like fun" is heard in "We Care A Lot."

- "It's a dirty job but someone has to do it" is heard again in "We Care A Lot" as the stormtroopers blast their way into the Tantive IV.

- The camera is close-up on Darth Vader for the first time when the line "who are you?" is heard in "Introduce Yourself."

- Princess Leia creeps out of the shadows as the line "from out of nowhere" is heard in "From Out of Nowhere."

- The line "one minute's here, and one minute's there" in "From Out of Nowhere" coincides with the long shot of the escape pod sailing from one end of the Imperial's screen to the other.

- The escape pod is shown floating down to Tatooine as the line "and you wave goodbye" is heard in "From Out of Nowhere."

- The whispered "goodbye" at the end of "From Out of Nowhere" is heard right before Vader walks away from the Imperial soldier who informs him of the jettisoned escape pod.

- The line "it's a loss, it's a win" is heard in "Epic" as R2-D2 is shown going a separate way on Tatooine from C-3PO (while the droids couldn't agree in which direction to go, they both ultimately end up on the sandcrawler).

- The krayt dragon skeleton is seen for the first time as the line "what is it?" is heard in "Epic."

- "What is it?" is heard again in "Epic" after the rocks fall near R2-D2 in the canyon, signaling to the droind that something may be awry.

- The sad, out of tune piano that ends "Epic" coincides with the Jawas carrying the lifeless R2-D2 to the sandcrawler; the final note sounds right after R2 is sucked up into the belly of the giant motorized junk pile.

- The line "I'm somewhere inbetween" in "Falling to Pieces" coincides with a shot of the droids aboard the sandcrawler (who are inbetween adventures at that point).

- The Jawa shuts R2-D2 off after the robot auction at the same moment the guitar stops in "Falling to Pieces."

- The line "with my mouth shut" in "A Small Victory" is heard as Uncle Owen refuses to discuss Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke's father at the dinner table.

- Luke stands up from the table, angry with his uncle, as the line "it shouldn't bother me..." is heard in "A Small Victory." The second part of that lyric, "...but it does," coincides with Luke's huffy exit from the dinner alcove.

- The phrase "high speed" in "A Small Victory" coincides with a shot of Luke and C-3PO in the landspeeder, racing to find R2-D2.

- The bomb noise at the end of "A Small Victory" coincides with R2's alarm going off in the Jundland Wastes, alerting Luke and 3PO to the Tusken Raiders.

- We see the Tusken Raiders dragging Luke into view and raiding the landspeeder from R2-D2's perspective as the line "you know I've done all I can" is heard in "Easy" (it's almost like R2 is thinking this as he hides in that little cave).

- Luke looks right at Obi-Wan as the "EWWW!" is heard in "Easy."

- The line "to reminds us we're alive" in "Digging the Grave" coincides with R2-D2 reminding Luke about C-3PO's battered body right before they leave the Jundland Wastes.

- It sounds like Mike Patton is saying, "it's out of this world!" in "Digging the Grave" as Obi-Wan explains the Force to Luke.

- Obi-Wan is listening to Princess Leia's hologram talk about the Clone Wars and the Empire as the line "the words are so familiar" in "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies."

- The lines "all you need is just one more excuse" and "I want to hear your very best excuse" are heard in "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies" as Luke explains to Obi-Wan why he can't go to Alderaan with him.

- The break in the beginning of "Evidence" (the part without the drums) starts at the same moment Vader begins Force-choking Admiral Motti.

- "I Started A Joke" begins the same time Obi-Wan whips out the Jedi mind trick on the stormtrooper in Mos Eisley.

- Obi-Wan grabs an angry Luke and makes him sit down as the line "take a breath and swallow" is heard in "Last Cup of Sorrow" (it's the part where Luke overreacts to Han's price quote, so it's kind of like Obi-Wan is asking Luke to "take a breath and swallow" his pride).

- The door outside the Mos Eisley cantina opens to reveal C-3PO and R2-D2 as the line "I see you" is heard in "Ashes to Ashes."

- The line "pick you up" in "Ashes to Ashes" coincides with Luke picking up his poncho off the landspeeder right before walking over to Docking Bay 94.


For a second there, I thought Green Day was going to be dethroned. Close, but no cigar.

I can't say I'm surprised. It's Faith No More, for the love of all things holy. One of the most unconventional, innovative bands of all-time. Of course their greatest hits collection would synch up with Star Wars in thirty distinct ways. It only makes sense.

As I did with American Idiot, The Chronic, and Dark Side of the Moon, I will try spinning Who Cares A Lot? with Empire and Jedi, probably sometime this weekend. I'm interested, son. Mad interested.


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