Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Jedis, Don't Teach Us Nonsense!



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


A Future Without a Past, the highly underrated debut album from Leaders of the New School. It's a shame this one collects dust in so many bargain bins the world over, 'cause it really is something else. It's also a shame Charlie Brown, Dinco D, and Cut Monitor Milo never really went anywhere after the Leaders disbanded. You think Busta Rhymes is behind some weird conspiracy to keep his former homeboys down? Hmmm. Now that's what I call an unsolved mystery!


- The "oh, man!" that is heard right before the start of "Case of the P.T.A." coincides with the explosion that rocks the Tantive IV.

- The line "what the hell's going on?" is heard in "Case of the P.T.A." as C-3PO looks up to the ceiling, wondering what the strange noises outside the ship are.

- The phrase "causin' aggrevation" in "Case of the P.T.A." coincides with a shot of the stormtroopers firing on the Rebel soldiers.

- The first chorus of "Too Much On My Mind" coincides with the first close-up of Princess Leia, who is trying to evade Imperial capture.

- The line "ready to go" in "Too Much On My Mind" is heard as R2-D2 opens up the escape pod.

- The phrase "get out" in "Too Much On My Mind" is heard as C-3PO gets into the escape pod following the explosion.

- The line "all by yourself in a little corner with no one to help you" in "Too Much On My Mind" coincides with C-3PO walking through the Tatooine desert right after the pod lands.

- The sandcrawler is seen carrying the droids over a sandy hill on Tatooine as the line "now you're on a mission to nowhere" is heard in "Just When You Thought It Was Safe..."

- "Sobb Story" starts as Luke realizes his Uncle won't let him go to the Academy.

- Luke and C-3PO look around the Jundland Wastes for Tusken Raiders as the line "watch out!" is heard in "Sobb Story."

- The phrase "peer pressure" is heard repeatedly in "Transformers" as Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke to go to Alderaan with him.

- Someone shouts, "What's up, what's up?" in "Afterschool" as Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin walk into the Death Star conference room (it almost seems like one of them coul dbe saying this).

- A couple of voices exclaim, "Ooooh, yo!" in "Afterschool" as Admiral Motti gets the Force choke from Vader.

- The film cuts to a shot of Luke right after the line "show me a hero" is heard in "Show Me A Hero."

- The line "all of a sudden, I got this feeling" is heard in "Show Me A Hero" as Luke runs to his landspeeder, desperate to get home to try and save his relatives.

- Luke is staring at his dead relatives as the line "ain't no way he goin' out like that" is heard in "Show Me A Hero."

- Luke and Obi-Wan are seen standing on the cliff with the sun shining brightly upon them as the line "it was a nice sunny day" is heard in "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles."

- Luke, Obi, and the droids are seen cruising through Mos Eisley as the line "continued on our mission" is heard in "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles."

- The line "tell me, what's your problem?" is heard in "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles" as Obi-Wan uses the Jedi mind trick on the stormtrooper (there's a mini-conversation going on in the song, and it looks like Obi and the trooper are the ones having it).

- The cantina band moves in time with the beat of "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles."


Damn, Gina. Another pleasant surprise. Honestly, some of this stuff came at me so fast I could barely get it all down. I'd seriously consider doing this one again to make sure I got everything. Of course, I don't exactly have the time right now to do a repeat...but I should probably set some time aside later in the week. Leaders of the New School got me buggin' out, son!

Okay, I know, enough with the urban lingo. I can't help it. It's infected the American lexicon. Show me a person my age who doesn't use any street talk like that and I'll show you an Amish guy/girl. By gum, the Amish are the only people left on this planet who do not liberally pepper their conversations with "oh, snaps" and "187s." Contractions are still a sizable mountain to those people. They don't have time to grapple with "come correct, son" and "heads of lettuce."

That reminds me: I kind of regret not watching that silly "Amish in the City" reality show when it was on. I'm sure it will end up on DVD one day (probably in the bargain bin, right next to sixteen copies of A Future Without a Past), but I still feel like I missed something grossly inappropriate and alternately hilarious. I don't know if you knew this about me, but I'm a sucker for horrible T.V. If it's terrible, I gotta see it.

Why else do you think I was rushing home to watch "American Idol" this past season? I had a crush on McPhee? Get real! Watching those trained chimp contestants jump through the hoops "Idol" put in front of them was devilishly delicious! Those Ford commercials where they all did little skits and sang together? Oh, the misery! It was scrumptious!


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