Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Midnight Star Wars



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


"Weird Al" Yankovic in 3-D. The album that made "Weird Al" a household name, thanks to the mega success of "Eat It." Everybody I knew growing up had a copy of this one - from Kevin Ryan, the kid I was friendly with in fourth grade who moved to Massachusetts, to Kevin Greene, my cousin from Massapequa with the feathered mullet. It was omnipresent, like Santa Claus or the threat of nuclear annihilation.


- The phrase "the big surprise" in "Nature Trail to Hell" coincides with the camera panning across the burnt out Lars homestead to reveal the charred bodies of Owen and Beru.


Well, at least I got to listen to In 3-D, one of my top ten favorite albums of all-time.

Oh, the memories that came alive in my head during this experiment: blasting the Yank on my walkman during long car rides through rural New York; my Osh Kosh B'Gosh bed comforter, upon which I would sit and tap my foot when I listened to the Weird One at home; putting on Groucho glasses and my mom's old wig to simulate the "Weird Al" costume kit seen in The Compleat Al; renting The Compleat Al six million times from the video store down the block (they should have just sold it to me); wondering if I would one day "own half of Montana" just like "Jimmy the Geek," the hero in "That Boy Could Dance"; blushing uncontrollably everytime the lyric "I'm a little girl when we make love together" came through my speakers during "Polka on 45."

When I die, someone please make sure I'm buried with my copy of In 3-D. I need to have it on the other side, especially if I end up in H-E-double hockey sticks.

I said that, H-E-double hockey sticks, once in a high school classroom, and none of the kids knew what I was talking about. Hockey, apparently, is a dying art form. On the other hand, this happened in Florida, not exactly ground zero for pucks and ice skates. I just hope Disney gets around to making Mighty Ducks 5 before the youth of America completely replace their faint memories of hockey with knowledge of Fallout Boy and virus protection software.

How I know "Weird Al" and I aren't in the same tax bracket: he paid $500 dollars to see The Phantom Menace before its official release. I can't think of a movie I'd pay that much to see in advance, even if the proceeds went to charity. Maybe Beetlejuice Joins the Foriegn Legion.


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