Monday, August 07, 2006

Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Wampa



The Empire Strikes Back (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash, the 1981 debut from the Replacements. Tried this sucker back in January with Star Wars and saw a freaky thing or two (check that out here). I think this is the album I'd pick if someone posed to me that oft-asked question, "If you were stranded on a desert island, what one album would you want to have with you?" Either this or Road to Ruin. That's where I'm at, yo.


- The text of the opening crawl disappears as the line "go no further" is heard in "Takin' a Ride" (the text literally goes no further up the screen).

- The probot is seen flying through space as the line "takin' a ride" is repeated in "Takin' a Ride."

- The phrase "can't go" is heard in "Hangin' Downtown" as Han Solo looks at Princess Leia right before he tells her he's leaving Echo base; a few seconds later, the phrase "stick around" is heard as Princess Leia looks back at him. These or similiar thoughts are probably crossing both their minds as they look at one another during this sequence.

- Han reaches over and muffles C-3PO's "mouth" as the phrase "rather loud" is heard in "Kick Your Door Down."

- The phrase "bye bye" is heard repeatedly in "Johnny's Gonna Die" as Luke finishes up with the medical droid and says good-bye to him/her/it.

- The Imperials are seen aboard the superstar destroyer awaiting the Rebel attack as the phrase "everybody's waitin'" is heard in "More Cigarettes."

- "Trouble" starts as the Rebel base on Hoth shakes due to Imperial attack.

- The word "trouble" is repeated in "Trouble" as Luke's snowspeeder crashes just yards away from the AT-AT's foot.

- Princess Leia is ignoring a flustered Han Solo, who is trying to get her out of the under attack Echo base, as the line "girls are a pain in my life" is heard in "Love You Till Friday."

- The line "go for a jog" is heard in "Shutup" as Han and Leia are seen running through the Echo base corridor.


Is C-3PO programmed to believe he has lips? 'Cause it sure sounds like Han is preventing him from talking in that one part, even though the little rectangle that's supposed to be his mouth never moves when he speaks. That's a nasty trick to play on a robot. Make him fluent in six million languages, but also make him believe he has lips so humans can put their hand on his mouth if they don't want to hear him talk anymore.

Wake up, Threepio. You don't have lips. You have a speaker and a rectangle. Don't let mankind screw with you anymore. The next time one of those meatbags tries to shut you up with his hand, jab him in the solar plexis with the sharp part of your elbow. What's he gonna do, kick your ass? You're made of metal! Metal beats flesh! Carve him up like a Christmas ham! Take back your right to blabber incessantly!

Again, this is one of those dumb little Star Wars plotholes that was probably explained away in a tenth-generation piece of expanded universe literature bearing a silly name like Fury of the Sith or Droid Stalker. Sorry, folks, I just can't keep up with that stuff. I have a hard enough time staying current with Wookieepedia.


Post a Comment

<< Home