Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Good Times Used To Kill Me

I tried watching the remainder of Star Wars along with Astro-Creep: 2000 today. Shockingly, there was more synchronicity. Click here for details.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Head to Head Boredom

Before I sat down with The Empire Strikes Back and Radiohead, I wanted to see if the first Star Wars film synched up with White Zombie's major label debut, La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1. Don't ask me why. Anyway, I was shocked by the results. Read about my findings here.

Friday, November 11, 2005

We're Out Loud

Contrary to popular belief, I am not the person responsible for this. While the idea of watching all six Star Wars films at once intrigues me, I'd be more inclined to watch them all separately on mute to see if they synch up with any records I own (I heard a rumor once that The Empire Strikes Back totally synchs up with The Bends by Radiohead).

If I did watch all six Star Wars films at once, you can bet your bottom dollar I'd rock that shizzy with the O-OT (that is to say, the original original trilogy - the pre-1997 non-CGI'd original trilogy, currently only available on VHS and bootleg DVDs). The person above is using the 2004 redux OT (I think), which is probably easier to handle from a technical standpoint. Of course, we all know that the 2004 redux OT is not how I roll, and that should have been a dead giveaway to all you looney tunes out there.

You know, I've got no plans for Saturday night. I think I might try synching up Empire and The Bends. It'll either blow my mind or give me a dull headache. At any rate, it'll eat up two or so hours!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Okay, just in case you missed something, yesterday my agent and I decided that if I started an honest-to-God blog on a real blogging site, it might help me get "platform" (i.e. notoriety), thus making me more appealing to publishers. Basically, all we've been hearing for months now is, "Yeah, we like this Star Wars Ruined My Life, it's funny, this guy's got a good voice, but he's got no platform. Call us when he has platform."

So here I am, attempting to ride the blog wave to fame and fortune. So far, I'm feeling pretty confident.

All you die-hard fans of jamesgreenejr.com needn't worry; I shall continue to update it with classic James Greene, Jr. articles and interviews. It will also continue to be ground zero for the "Late Night with James Greene, Jr." movement.

Speaking of which, the "Late Night with James Greene, Jr." petition has been stalled at 41 signatures for a while now. I need to get out there and do some campaigning. I was just in New York; I should have spent a few hours hanging outside of 30 Rock with some leaflets. Hindsight is always 20/20.

I feel the need to point out that the title of every post this month will be the name of a Gluecifer song, in honor of the eleven rockin' years they gave us. Rest in peace, Gluece.

So, uh, yeah! Let the rise to fame begin! Any corporations or celebrities you guys think this blog needs to take down? I'm open to suggestions!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

A Call From the Other Side

Just like the prodigal son, I've returned. However, if you step to me, I'll probably just stare at you for a few seconds and then walk away in disgust.

The Gluecifer show was awesome. A spectacle in every sense of the word. There were go-go dancers, inflatable demons, a giant movie screen showing clips from the 1966 Batman movie, a sloppy fat guy dressed as Winnie the Pooh wandering around aimlessly, and a special surprise appearance by none other than Bobby "Boris" Pickett. He sang "Monster Mash" right before Gluecifer came on, and he sang it with all the gusto of a man of twenty. Incredible, considering Pickett is roughly 1,000 years old.

I have to hand it to Gluecifer - they didn't milk the whole "final performance" thing. They just got up there and played their sweet Norwegian brand of hard rock. The only indication that the Glues were actually hanging it up came from singer Biff Malibu right before the band launched into their closing number, "Black Book Lodge."

"This is our last song," he said casually. "ever."

In fact, the band members looked like they were having such a good time up there, you'd think it was their first show. After "Black Book Lodge," the giant movie screen came down in front of the stage once again, and I realized there would be no encore. That's when the heaviness of the affair hit me. No more Gluecifer. The only band from the past decade I really gave a shit about was done. As sweaty bodies shuffled forward to await Rocket from the Crypt, I exited the venue with my bittersweet memories.

The next two and a half days were spent in my hometown of Ridgefield, CT, hangin' with mah homeboys and doing little of significance. Here's some pictures (all taken by my good friend Ian Murren):

The two Jims, together again. You probably recognize Jim Rumpf from this classic image (or perhaps this one). We've been pals since second grade. Here, I think Jim was distracted by two hunks who were making out on a nearby bed.

Whenever I'm in Ridgefield, my friend John Piacquadio and I form this band called Onofrio. About three days after our first practice in 2001, we played our one and only show at a pizza parlor in the Bronx. We tried to weasel our way onto the bill at some happening this weekend, but it didn't work out. I'm really playing the harmonica in this picture, by the way, not just pretending.

Me in front of Ridgefield's Town Hall. Note the regal eagle. When I was in middle school, I had to attend group therapy in the basement of this building. Those were not pleasant times.

Strolling past Keeler Tavern, one of many historical landmarks in Ridgefield that date back to the Revolutionary War. A passerby asked me who was on my shirt after this photo was taken. I was this close to saying, "Your mother." This close.

Perhaps the most famous Ridgefield landmark, the fountain. It greets all visitors who come to town via Route 35 from New York (directly behind me). So many drunk drivers have careened into this bad boy over the years that it may just be a replica now. Something smelled really awful while I was standing there. It may have been me.

On the grounds of a nunnery/prep school on the edge of town. You can almost see to Vermont in this one. I was more concerned with the cuffs coming undone on my pants, which explains why I'm staring at the ground.

This is the first frame of a short movie Ian took of me frolicking in the leaves at Veteren's Park. I should have him send it to me. It's pretty frightening.

All in all, a fun trip. It did me good to get away from the hustle and bustle of the greater Orlando area. Now it's back to the hectic grind of substitute teaching. Sigh.