Thursday, August 31, 2006

(Vader's) At Budokan



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Disc one of Cheap Trick At Budokan: the Complete Concert. More or less the gold standard of live albums, right? Thank God they put out this extended version, 'cause the original nine tunes just weren't enough. All hail the Trick.


- The phrase "little girl" in "Come On, Come On" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The moody, dark part of "Downed" coincides with Luke and Owen's argument about Luke's future.


For the eight thousandth time: At Budokan? More like Not At Synchokan! Ha cha cha!

I went to high school with a kid who held Rick Nielsen's five-necked guitar once. True story.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I Love Livin' on the Death Star



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Live...For the Record by Fear. 1986 concert from punk's infamous button-pushers, recorded for some radio broadcast and released on CD in 1991. The usual naughty language is danced around (a slight disappointment since no one delivers obscenities quite like singer Lee Ving), but musically the band is in top form. If I were stranded on Ellis Island and could only have one Fear album uploaded to my iPod, this would be it.


- R2-D2 falls over in the canyon, a victim of the Jawa's blaster, right after the line "trip and fall at their house" is heard in "What Are Friends For?"

- "Welcome to the Dust Ward" starts as the Jawas are seen hauling R2-D2 to the sandcrawler.

- R2-D2 is seen hobbling through the interior of the sandcrawler as the line "I'm in the dust ward" is repeatedly heard in "Welcome to the Dust Ward."

- The line "you're gonna die before your time has come" in "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" coincides with R5-D4 exploding as he rolls toward Luke.

- The chorus of "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" is heard as Luke complains about being stuck on Tatooine to C-3PO.

- One member of Fear is heard saying, "You have to see it to believe it" between songs as Luke looks in amazement at the ignited lightsaber.

- The line "let's have a war" in "Let's Have a War" coincides with Vader Force-choking Admiral Motti in the Death Star conference room after he questions the Dark Lord of the Sith's powers and abilities.


More than I expected to get with this one. Not much else I can say other than ONETWOTHREEFOUR, ONETWOTHREEFOUR!

GSWSP Article from

Well, I was right. The Star Wars Insider online supplement is in the "Hyperspace" section of, meaning unless you're a paying member, you can't have a look at the article about the GSWSP. That's okay, though, because I have the whole thing right here. The author of the article, Bonnie Burton, was kind enough to e-mail it to me shortly after it went up. Thanks again, Bonnie!

Although I thought what they were going to post would be more along the lines of the raw interview (what follows is really just an extended version of the print article), I'd be a fool to complain. This is the most attention my little blog has ever received. I feel quite honored to grace the pages of Star Wars Insider AND the virtual pages of Scroll down and dig on it already...


The Dark Side of the Death Star: More Synchronicity
August 28, 2006
By Bonnie Burton

Imagine if John Williams' epic score as the saga's music soundtrack was replaced with your favorite records. Would Metallica's heavy guitar riffs add intensity to Luke and Darth Vader's exciting duel? Or perhaps dialog between C-3PO and R2-D2 would oddly make sense when backed by rap lyrics from Public Enemy?

This isn't a brand new experiment concept. In 1994, some Pink Floyd fans created a similar experiment called "Dark Side of the Rainbow" in which they would simultaneously play Pink Floyd's album The Dark Side of the Moon while watching the film The Wizard of Oz to see if certain film scenes and song lyrics link up.

Florida fan James Greene, Jr. came up with the idea after he heard about another fan who was watching all six Star Wars movies at once while documenting the few strange little coincidences throughout. "Naturally, this reminded me of the whole 'Dark Side of the Rainbow' thing," Greene says. "So I started to wonder about the possibility of there being an album out there that synchs up with Star Wars in the same way. The first album I ever tried -- White Zombie's La Sexorcisto -- yielded about 20 moments of synchronicity. That's not many compared to the 60 you get with Dark Side and Oz, but it was enough to get me excited. After I told a friend of mine about my experiment he remarked somewhat cynically that almost any album would probably synch up with Star Wars, and suggested I devote an entire blog to my synchronization tests. It sounded like a great idea to me, so I did it."

Even though all the films in the saga are fair game for the Synchronicity Project, Greene enjoys testing the possibilities of the original trilogy the most. "The movies I'm most excited about using are the original three -- A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi -- because I think they're the ones that the general public are most familiar with," Greene says. "Plus, they're the movies that I love most. For the project I'm using the unaltered versions -- the 1995 THX 'Faces' set, to be exact."

Since late last year, Greene has tested albums by Beastie Boys, Green Day, Blondie, Bad Religion, Meat Loaf, The Damned, Dr. Dre, Aerosmith, Nirvana, Public Enemy, and of course, Pink Floyd. After each test, he details exactly where the albums synch up with various film scenes, and explains why certain albums seem to work better than others, on his blog.

"The record with the most interesting synchs to date is Green Day's American Idiot with A New Hope," Greene says. "There are 35 total! I'm not really sure why that worked out so well, other than maybe the fact that it's a rock opera with lots of short little songs-within-songs and quick tempo shifts."

Greene also tests other movie soundtracks against the films including Ghostbusters, Cable Guy, Lost Highway, Less Than Zero and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. "The Ghostbusters soundtrack worked best with A New Hope probably because there's just a good mix of styles including orchestral stuff, old time rock n' roll and cheesy '80s ballads, not to mention the movie's famous title song," Greene explains. "Interestingly enough the line 'I know it's worth it all to spend my life with you' is heard in 'I Can Wait Forever' as C-3PO and R2-D2 are conversing onscreen. It reminded me how much the two act like an elderly married couple."

However, not all the musical experiments are a whopping success. "Oh, there are tons of flops," Greene laughs. "Any album with lots of love songs like Blondie's Greatest Hits with Empire never works because there aren't many lovey-dovey moments. Hardcore punk records are usually too short and fast as well. I tried the Led Zeppelin box set which ended up being a wash. Extensive guitar solos don't translate well to synchronicity."

For those fans wanting to try to synch their favorite albums, Greene offers a few tips. "I generally hit play twice real quick on the CD player to pause the CD before the music starts," Greene suggests. "Then right after the second drum roll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare, I unpause the CD player. I do that so there isn't that brief lag between hitting 'play' and the start of the CD. Also try to use albums that you think will have a greater propensity for synchronization. And be sure to go to the bathroom before you sit down with a 70-minute CD. That can be torture."

To read more about the latest experiments, visit the Star Wars Synchronicity Project blog here:

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Them Bones (Are Uncle Owen)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Live, the 2000 "in concert" release from Alice in Chains that actually consists of material from several different time periods. Notable for the ultra-rare track "Queen of the Rodeo," which isn't that ultra-rare anymore as it's on this CD and the AIC box set Music Bank. It used to be ultra-rare, though. Ultramega-rare, okay?


- Layne's distorted vocals in the middle of "Bleed the Freak" begin right before C-3PO and the Rebels aboard the Tantive IV look up to the ceiling; it's almost as if they can hear Layne's weird mumblings.

- The stormtroopers are searching for Princess Leia as the line "I think there might be one right over there" is heard in "Queen of the Rodeo."

- Princess Leia is being lead to Darth Vader as the phrase "queen of the rodeo" is heard in "Queen of the Rodeo."

- "Man in the Box" starts right after R2-D2 (the man) is sucked up into the sandcrawler (the box).

- The phrase "sweet little angel" in "Love, Hate, Love" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- The Tusken Raider pops up and attacks Luke as the line "yeah, they come to snuff the rooster" is heard in "Rooster."

- Obi-Wan is onscreen as the phrase "my master" is heard in "Would?"

- Luke is listening to Obi-Wan talk about his father as the phrase "teach thee on child" is heard in "Would?"

- The phrase "you, you are so special" in "Dirt" coincides with Obi-Wan wielding his lightsaber in the cantina after slicing Dr. Evanzan's arm off.

- The shooting of Greedo coincides with the line "gonna end up a big ol' pile of them bones" in "Them Bones."

- The Millennium Falcon enters hyperspace at the same exact moment "Again" starts.

- Alderaan blows up at the same exact moment the beat drops out for the first time in "Again."

- During the part where Luke gets zapped by the little training ball because he has his blast shield down, the line "oh Lord, this is a test" is heard in "A Little Bitter."


That "snuff the rooster"/Tusken Raider synch also occurred during the first Alice in Chains experiment I did. Crazy, huh? What makes it even kookier is I think it's the same version of "Rooster" on both CDs. Come on, Jerry, you couldn't dig out a different take of your brooding Vietnam Vet reflection epic for Live? Jeez, talk about lazy.

Surprisingly, this isn't the first time this has happened - the same exact synch on two different albums, that is. The first instance I noted with another Seattle grunge powerhouse: Nirvana. On both Nevermind and From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah, R2-D2 hobbles toward Luke and 3PO after the robot auction during the part in "Lithium" where Kurt sings, "I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends." Weird.

Another strange coincidence: I really can't stand "Rooster" or "Lithium." Seriously. They have to be my least favorite Alice in Chains and Nirvana songs, respectively. You know what this means, right? I'm gonna hafta go buy a Pearl Jam album and a few of their gazillion "official bootlegs" to see if anything synchs the same with songs I don't like there.

Did that last sentence make sense? Probably not, but who cares? I've got the day off from work tomorrow thanks to Ernesto (the tropical storm, not the kid from ninth grade who would always pick on me despite his own numerous shortcomings) and I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna lay around in bed all day and pretend I'm K-Fed. Sport the slanted hat, the wifebeater, call a few people to defend my MC skills, and wonder aloud when "the damn wife" plans on popping out "our latest bizzundle of jizzoy." It's gonna be hawsome.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Rockaway Bantha



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


It's Alive by the Ramones. Classic double live album recorded on New Year's Eve, 1977, released in the U.K. in 1979 and not in America until 1995. The definitive Ramones concert experience. The only thing missing is a tube of Carbona.


- The first chord that Johnny hits to soundcheck his guitar coincides with the appearance of the "long time ago" text.

- Darth Vader and the stormtroopers guarding him start marching through the Tantive IV as the first "hey ho, let's go" is heard in "Blitzkrieg Bop."

- The phrase "I wanna be well" is heard in "I Wanna Be Well" as R2-D2 hobbles toward the escape pod during the Tantive IV battle; C-3PO is seen getting into the pod moments later as the phrase is heard again.

- The star destroyer is seen leaving the general Tatooine area as Joey shouts, "Glad ta see ya go!" right before "Glad to See You Go."

- The chorus of "Glad to See You Go" ("glad to see you go, go, go, go, good-bye") is heard as the droids fight and separate on the surface of Tatooine.

- C-3PO is seen walking alone in the desert, cursing R2-D2, as the line "I was really sick, losing my mind" is heard in "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment."

- R2-D2 is shot and electrocuted by the Jawa as the guitar rings out at the end of "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment."

- The line "you jumped out, knocked her off her feet" in "You're Gonna Kill That Girl" coincides with R2-D2 falling over after the Jawa jumps out and shoots him.

- The line "the kids are all hopped up and ready to go" in "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" coincides with the Jawas running around before the auction, preparing their wares for sale.

- The chorus of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" ("Texas chainsaw massacre") is heard as Obi-Wan and Luke survey the site of the Jawa massacre.

- The first verse of "Now I Wanna Be a Good Boy" ("now I wanna be a good boy, I don't wanna be bad, now I wanna be on my own, now I wanna be sad alone") coincides with Luke telling Obi-Wan he wants to leave Tatooine and become a Jedi knight.

- The cantina band moves in time with "Judy is a Punk."

- The phrase "can't stop that girl, there she goes again" in "Suzy is a Headbanger" coincides with Dr. Evanzan trying his hardest to pick a fight with Luke in the cantina.

- The phrase "gonna give her a great big kiss" in "Oh Oh I Love Her So" coincides with Han reaching for his gun during his chat with Greedo (he gives Greedo a great big kiss, alright...with his blaster!).

- "We're a Happy Family" plays as Obi-Wan, Luke, Han, Chewbacca, and the droids board the Millennium Falcon and leave Mos Eisley, marking the beginning of their ersatz family.


Fifteen, that's pretty keen! I love that "Now I Wanna Be a Good Boy" synch. Talk about perfection. Made the whole experiment for me.

What would have been really awesome is if the Star Wars logo popped up at the same exact moment the Ramones launched into their first song, "Rockaway Beach." Sadly, that was a few seconds off.

Well, this has put me in a Ramonesy mood. Think I'm gonna go break out the leather jacket and have some chicken vindaloo. Gabba gabba hey!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The GSWSP in Concert

This week I'm gonna turn it up to eleven and do all live albums. Are you ready to rock? I hope so.

8/28: Ramones - It's Alive
8/29: Alice in Chains - Live
8/30: Fear - Live...For the Record
8/31: Cheap Trick - At Budokan: the Complete Concert (Disc 1)
9/01: Cheap Trick - At Budokan: the Complete Concert (Disc 2)

Speaking of live, I don't know what the hell's up with my interview on I think it's in "Hyperspace," the pay section of the site. That's kinda of lame. Lemme do some checking and I'll get back to you. Like I said before, if you can't check it out over there without a credit card, I'll just post it here. 'Nuff said.

Friday, August 25, 2006

September Gonks



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Radio City, allegedly crucial power pop release from Big Star. It's alright, I guess. People have been trying to sell me on this band for years. Finally sitting down and listening to this album was more anticlimactic than, uh, well, The Phantom Menace! Okay, that's a lie. I knew The Phantom Menace was going to be bad before I even saw it.


- C-3PO is turning around in a circle looking for R2-D2 as the line "tryin' to see you" is heard in "O My Soul."

- The line "don't like to see your face" in "Life is White" coincides with Darth Vader choking that Rebel soldier.

- The line "why don't you come back" in "Way Out West" coincides with C-3PO walking toward R2-D2, who is starting to go in the opposite direction, on the surface of Tatooine.

- "What's Going Ahn" starts as the Jawas begin spying on R2-D2 in the canyon.

- The phrase "oh goodbye" in "What's Going Ahn" is heard as R2-D2 is shot by the Jawa.

- The line "so I moan" in "Mod Lang" coincides with Luke's whine about going to the Toschi Station.

- Luke is complaining about never getting off of Tatooine as the line "how long can this go on?" is heard in "Mod Lang."

- Princess Leia's hologram appears in Obi-Wan's hut as the line "finest girl in the world" is heard in "I'm in Love with a Girl."

- Luke is seen staring at Leia's hologram as the phrase "I didn't know" is heard in "I'm in Love with a Girl" (i.e. he didn't know that hot babe was his sister!).


Yeah, nine synchs, Big Star, Alex Chilton, genius, Greedo, whatever. There are more important issues at hand.

I'd like to observe a moment of silence for Pluto right now, which lost its planetary status yesterday after seventy-six years.


I think the following video best sums up how we, the people of Earth, feel now that we live in an eight planet solar system:

I know that's how I feel.

Pluto, I don't care about your eccentric orbit or your oversized moon. You'll always be the ninth planet in my heart. Daddy loves you, yes he does. Now go on and git before you make me cry, you trans-Neptunian rascal, you!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

So Says Darth



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Chutes Too Narrow by the Shins, the quirky New Mexico band that Zach Braff is totally into. I mean totally. I mean they totally changed his life, if we're to believe any of the dialogue in Garden State.


- The line "it gets worse everytime we talk" in "Turn a Square" is heard as Luke and Owen begin discussing Luke's future.

- The line "forget about it, girl" in "Turn a Square" is heard as Owen tells Luke he has to stay on the farm for harvest.

- Luke is staring at the twin sunset after his argument with Owen as the line "I can't just stay the course" is heard in "Turn a Square."


Chutes Too Narrow? More like Synchs Too Little! Am I right? AM I RIGHT?!?!?!

Drew Manning: thank you for your kind words about the GSWSP and your interesting theories about synchronization. I don't have any plans to mess around with the prequels as I'm not a big a fan of them and don't really care if anything synchs up with them, but that might change. I never used to drink coffee, and now I can't get through the week without it!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Talkin' 'Bout the Smiling Death Star Immortality Blues



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Hit to Death in the Future Head by the Flaming Lips. Their major label debut. Not the one with "She Don't Use Jelly." This is the one before the one with "She Don't Use Jelly."


- "Hit Me Like You Did the First Time" fades out as the escape pod carrying the droids is seen descending upon Tatooine (it looks kind of like the pod is making the same noise the guitar is making during the fade out).

- The phrase "felt the burn" in "Felt Good to Burn" coincides with the sparks that are seen when the Jawa applies the restraining bolt to R2-D2.


Disappointing. I had my hopes up that something really wild would happen. This is the Flaming Lips, after all. No dice. Well, they have other records, I suppose.

The Remainder of Ed Doyle Week

8/24: The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
8/25: Big Star - Radio City

Word to Pete LaCock.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Under the Wheel (of the Sandcrawler)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Mental Notes by Split Enz. More prog rock, this time from New Zealand. What set the Enz apart from all those other Kiwi prog rock bands? Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact they all dressed like New Wave Mimes. See for yourself.


- The weird noise in the middle of "Walking Down a Road" begins right before C-3PO and the Rebels aboard the Tantive IV look up; once again, it appears they hear this noise and begin wondering what it is.

- A stormtrooper vanishes behind a thick cloud of smoke as the line "I disappeared" is heard in "Walking Down a Road."

- A real harrowing part of "Walking Down a Road" is heard as the droids make their way across the two warring factions aboard the Tantive IV.

- Princess Leia begins reprimanding Vader for invading her ship as the line "go on, you creep, get out" is heard in "Under the Wheel."

- The droids are seen wandering the desert as the line "it doesn't seem real, the way things turned out" is heard in "Under the Wheel."

- "Under the Wheel" picks up its pace the moment the film wipes to R2-D2 rolling alone through the canyon on Tatooine; the song slows back down as R2 is shot by the Jawa.

- The line "he needs no one to help him on his way" is heard in "Stranger Than Fiction" as Luke and 3PO come upon R2, who has managed to get halfway across Tatooine without any help.

- The phrase "knight in command" in "Titus" coincides with a shot of Grand Moff Tarkin.


Why do I suddenly feel the urge to go to a Renaissance festival? Lo, Black Knight, I scourge thine prickly being to the depths of Hades. Yeah, that's probably not accurate at all. I don't care, though. I'm only in it for the wenches.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Selling Alderaan by the Pound



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Selling England by the Pound by Genesis. Thought to be the best from the Peter Gabriel era, back when they were all weird and prog rocky. I wouldn't know. I've tried my hardest to steer clear of Genesis in all their forms (although I will admit that "I Can't Dance" was a damn catchy tune).


- A tiny cymbal crashing is heard in "Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" as the door on the Tantive IV explodes.

- A group of choral singers are heard in "Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" as the first stormtroopers burst through the still smoking Tantive IV door.

- "Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" quiets down as the movie moves toward the scene where the stormtroopers are searching the bowels of the Tantive IV for Princess Leia.

- The phrase "two little lovebirds" in "I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)" coincides with a shot of C-3PO and R2-D2 wandering through the Tatooine desert.

- A triumphant organ part in "Firth of Fifth" coincides with Luke's first appearance.

- Some sad guitar strains are heard in "Firth of Fifth" after Luke is denied a trip to the Toschi Station.

- An organ swells up in "Firth of Fifth" as Princess Leia's hologram first appears; the next appearance of her hologram, in Obi-Wan's domicile, also coincides with an organ line in "The Battle of Epping Forest."

- Some sad guitar work is heard as Luke races to his aunt and uncle's house after realizing the Empire has probably paid them a visit.

- The line "listen to the old one speak" in "The Cinema Show" coincides with Obi-Wan speaking to Dr. Evanzan in the cantina.

- Han Solo's first appearance coincides with "The Cinema Show" getting all funky towards the end.


This was almost like watching a silent movie, what with all the corresponding musical cues. That kind of thing hasn't happened too often during the GSWSP. Then again, I haven't tried much moody prog rock.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

3/5 of Ed Doyle Week

Ed still hasn't let me know what his last two picks are, but the first three are as follows:

8/21: Genesis - Selling England by the Pound
8/22: Split Enz - Mental Notes
8/23: Flaming Lips - Hit to Death in the Future Head

All with Star Wars. I done told you already, Empire and Jedi ain't getting much attention until I find the album that totally synchs up with Star Wars! You done knew that, a'ight? Damn! Suckas be hatin'!

I need to have ghetto-speak surgically removed from my sense of humor. At this point, it embarrasses us all.

THIS JUST IN: The JG2 interview goes "live" this Friday, August 25th. Hold on to your butts.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Darth Off Your Shoulder



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


The Black Album, Jay-Z's alleged swan song. Contains the hit "99 Problems." Also contains at least one reference to Castor Troy, the villain from Face/Off. That's gotta be the only time a rapper has namechecked a Nicholas Cage character. I hope it doesn't start a trend. Yo, I'm gettin' all Cameron Poe up in here!


- Jay-Z begins rapping on "December 4th" as the camera pans down after the opening crawl.

- The droids are seen wandering the Tatooine desert as the line "we got a problem, Houston" is heard in "What More Can I Say."

- The phrase "let's go" in "Change Clothes" coincides with Luke waving for R5-D4 to come with him.

- The phrase "ya boy is back" in "Change Clothes" coincides with R2-D2 joining C-3PO once again to replace the broken R5-D4.

- The beat in "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" becomes muffled right when C-3PO hits R2-D2 on the dome in Luke's room.

- The camera is on Greedo as the phrase "dying young, leaving a good-looking corpse" is heard in "Allure" (Greedo does die young, I think, and his corpse is pretty cool-looking).


Jawa who? Jawa what? Dumb joke, but it had to be made. Mad props to James Holland for hooking me up with a copy of this album. Copy on, Copyman.

Next week my friend Ed Doyle is picking out all the albums for the GSWSP. He's into a lot of art rock. Early Genesis, Split Endz, Flaming Lips, that kind of stuff. When he sends me his list of selections, I'll post it. I'm sure I'll be screaming for mercy by Tuesday, but hey, sometimes you gotta suffer for your Star Wars blog, ya know?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go contemplate bidding on this.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

She Stands There (Next to Vader)

Sorry, They Might Be Giants fans, but my supplier didn't come through. It's all cool. The Johns should probably get their own week anyway. Substituting for Apollo 18 is a record by one of my favorite Clinton-era New York City punk bands, D Generation. It's entitled No Lunch. Let's see what we got, shall we?



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


No Lunch by D Generation. Glitter n' grime foot-on-the-monitor punk. A frenzied, charismatic effort released in 1996 that garnered critical acclaim and public indifference. Not to be confused with the wrestling tag team known as D-Generation X, who (at least to my knowledge) have never recorded or released a musical record of any kind.


- The Tantive IV door explosion coincides with the drums that start "Frankie."

- The gasping noises Jesse Malin makes in the middle of "Frankie" coincide with the Rebel soldier getting choked by Vader.

- "No Way Out" starts as the droids are first seen wandering though the vast desert wasteland of Tatooine.

- Luke shoots an unhappy look at his uncle after being denied a trip to the Toschi Station as the line "no me, I'm not your son" is heard in "Disclaimer."

- The melancholy bass that starts "Too Loose" coincides with Luke's longing stare into the Tatooine sunset.

- The Tusken Raiders are seen spying on Luke and Threepio in the landspeeder as the line "I can see you but you can't see me" is heard in "Too Loose."

- The Tusken Raider pops up and attacks Luke as the line "they've got you going down" is heard in "Too Loose."


Wow, isn't that amazing? I'm sure it'll impress the hell outta the other two people in this country who own No Lunch. No, I'm kidding, I'm sure lotsa people own this great, great album. They'd be fools not to! Unless they really don't like D Generation, in which case they would be fools. Why hang on to a CD by a band you don't like? That's pretty stupid. Shit, you don't see me with any Hootie, do you?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Luke's House



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Greatest Hits by Run-D.M.C. Eighteen choice cuts from the coolest rappers ever to appear on "227." What, you never saw that episode? It was a complete rip-off of the famous Davy Jones "Brady Bunch" affair, substituting Run-D.M.C. for the pint-sized Monkees star and goofball Barry Sobel for Maureen McCormick. What it lacked in originality it more than made up for in seemingly endless shots of Jackée Harry shaking her groove thang during the grand finale block party.


- The Star Wars logo appears at the same moment the regular beat starts in "King of Rock."

- The two spaceships in the beginning are seen warring as the line "take airplane flights at huge heights" is heard in "King of Rock."

- A group of stormtroopers blast their way through the Tantive IV corridor as the line "we're causin' hard times for sucker m.c.'s" is heard in "King of Rock."

- Princess Leia is seen creeping out of the shadows as the line "just can't hide" is heard in "It's Tricky." Moments later, two stormtroopers spot her, coinciding with the line "they know who's inside."

- R2-D2 is seen hobbling toward the camera as the line "walk this way" is heard in "Walk This Way."

- Luke is lying on the ground after the Tusken Raider attack as the line "Humpty Dumpty fell down, that's his hard time" is heard in "Peter Piper."

- Luke is going off about the Empire and how he can't go to Alderaan as Obi-Wan sits there with a dissatisfied look on his face as the line "Mary, Mary, why ya buggin'?" is heard in "Mary, Mary."

- Darth Vader walks into Princess Leia's cell as the line "this dude walked in lookin' strange and kinda funny" is heard in "You Be Illin'."

- The line "whatever happened to unity?" in "It's Like That" coincides with Ponda Baba shoving Luke in the cantina.


On the last episode of "Run's House" I saw, Run was celebrating having successfully impregnating his wife by beat-boxing about his "super sperm." That hardly seems like something a man of the cloth should be doing. Beat-boxing about his sperm on basic cable, that is.

Wait, is that right, to call a Reverend a man of the cloth? Is that nickname solely reserved for priests? See, it's times like these I wish I had paid attention during all those CCD classes my parents made me take. Couldn't tear myself away from my daydreams, though. Back then, they mostly consisted of going on a road trip with Bill and Ted to meet Wayne and Garth at Madonna's house.

Is that the most early nineties daydream you ever heard about or what? Pepper in a little Jesus Jones and a few slap braclets and you've got yourself one helluva Dan Quayle-era party!

Oh, and by the way, the song Run-D.M.C. performed on "227" was "Mary, Mary." That was their reworking of the famous Monkees tune. Were they making sly reference to the lifted plotline? I like to think so!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Death Star Rock City



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


The Very Best of Kiss. They finally got me here. The previous six Kiss greatest hits compilations I could easily turn a blind eye to, but there was no way I could resist this 2002 release. "Detroit Rock City," "I Love It Loud," and "God Gave Rock n' Roll To You II" all on one disc? Well played, Gene and Paul. I accept this defeat and gracefully turn my $9.99 plus tax over to you.


- The line "you know she's gonna leave you well done" in "Hotter Than Hell" is heard as the Jawa shoots R2-D2 in the canyon on Tatooine.


Yeah, I know Kiss is supposed to be written entirely in capital letters. I'm not gonna do it, though. That right there symbolizes my love/hate relationship with them. I'll admit to liking a few of their songs, I'll admit I dig the whole vibe they were going for, but I ain't about to bow down like a slave and follow all of the Kiss Kommandments. They can capitalize their own letters. 'Nuff said.

FYI - tomorrow's experiment? Up well before 9 P.M. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to appear in the sequel to Snakes on a Plane.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Rebels Beware



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Blank Generation by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. Poetic punk/pop pastiche from the guy who played Madonna's boyfriend in Desperately Seeking Susan and three of his (obscenely underrated) musician friends. I'd say this record is more important than anything Lou Reed ever did, but then again, I hate Lou Reed. I'd say anything Jim Nabors put out was more important than anything Lou Reed ever did.


- "Blank Generation" starts the moment we first see Luke Skywalker onscreen (this song is the anthem for all those who feel isolated and out of place in their own world as Luke does when we meet him).

- The phrase "take it" is heard in "Blank Generation" as Luke takes C-3PO out of the robot auction.


Come on, Richard! It's like you didn't even see Star Wars before you wrote and recorded this album! What's up with that? You failed, bro. You failed hard.

Anonymous: you are partially correct. The two Johns in They Might Be Giants are originally from Massachusetts. However, TMBG was not formed until they found each other in New York City a few years after first meeting. At least that's what Wikipedia told me. So if that's not right, take it up with the Wiki!

Egbert: yes, that Police record would be a good one to try. Maybe I'll give it a go during "Bands Named After Law Enforcement Organizations" week.

Sorry this post is so tardy going up. As I said before, I was running late for life the other day, and when I finally did show up, life pounded my ass hard. I'm gonna be in traction all week.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

The City That Never Synchs?

The schedule for "I Love New York" week:

8/14: Richard Hell & the Voidoids - Blank Generation
8/15: Kiss - The Very Best of Kiss
8/16: Run-D.M.C. - Greatest Hits
8/17: They Might Be Giants - Apollo 18
8/18: Jay-Z - The Black Album

An' to all dose who didn't vote: I gotcha synchronicity right heah [jostles crotch]. Naaaaaaaaah, I'm just bustin' ya balls. Hey, fuhggedaboutit!

Start Spreadin' the News...

Another record voter turnout here on the GSWSP. Yep, three people made their voices heard in the great NYC vs. CLE debate; unfortunately, one person voted by leaving a comment on my MySpace profile (which doesn't count), and another voted after the midnight deadline (which also doesn't count - and would you believe that person was me? I can't even follow my own damn rules!).

That leaves one official vote, a vote for New York. I hereby declare New York City the winner of the Umpteenth Annual GSWSP "Battle for Next Week's Theme." Suck it, Cleveland.

Schedule to be announced later. I'm runnin' late for life, g.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Cantina Jitters



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Pleased to Meet Me by the Replacements. Contains their big hits, "Alex Chilton" and "Can't Hardly Wait." Check out the 'dos the boys are sportin' on the back cover. To paraphrase Pat McCormick, it's amazing they could sing so well with sparrows living in their hair.


- The phrase "gonna show you something" is heard as the camera pans down after the opening crawl disappears.

- C-3PO turns away from an incapacitated R2-D2 as the phrase "nevermind" is heard in "Nevermind" (it's that part where 3PO looks back, R2 gets zapped by the Jawa, and then 3PO sadly turns away).


For the third and final time I say weak.

Still no photo of Bob's bench. Don't know where it went. Instead, here's a picture of me and my friend Chris McCauly honoring the spirit of Bob with really dumb hats:

Okay, time to flex your democratic muscles. Should next week's theme be "Cleveland Rocks!" (all artists from the CLE) or "I Love New York" (all Big Apple artists)? Leave a comment on this post with your vote. The theme with the most votes by midnight tomorrow wins. Get crazy with the cheez whiz (and by that I mean have fun voting and enjoy your weekend).

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Banthas of Young



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Tim by the Replacements. Sloppier and poppier. This was their last with founding guitarist Bob Stinson, who exited the group in another one of those cloudy "did he quit or get fired?" rock n' roll moments. Bob didn't accomplish much post-Mats; he basically just floundered around with a few other Minneapolis-based bands until his untimely death in 1995. His legacy of hot licks and inebriated fun lives on, though, in the form of a bench dedicated to his memory in the city's Lake of the Isles park.


- The line "gimme one good dose of thunder" is heard in "Dose of Thunder" as R2-D2 is shot by the Jawa.

- C-3PO and R2-D2 are seen sitting aboard the sandcrawler right before the robot auction, wondering what will happen next, as the line "if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side" is heard in "Swingin' Party."


Again I say weak.

I thought I had a picture of Bob's bench I could put here, but clearly I don't. Maybe tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Chewie's Got a Boner



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Let It Be by the Replacements. Their magnum opus. Thirty-three minutes of crucial ragamuffin rock brilliance. Probably the most important guitar-based album of the 1980s. Certainly one of the best. Definitely the best featuring a blazing mandolin solo.


- The Jawa moves toward R2-D2 to apply the restraining bolt as the line "they've got you under their thumb" is heard in "Black Diamond."

- "Seen Your Video" is playing when Luke discovers Princess Leia's hologram.



I went to the house on the cover of Let It Be one time. Here's photographic evidence:

That's Angela's head in the foreground. We thought about climbing up on the roof to be like the album cover, but it was the middle of the day and there were too many people milling about. Shoulda gone back at night and done it. Oh well. There's always next time. I wonder how many crazy 'Mats fans have actually tried to get on top of that house...

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Take Me Down to the Jundland Wastes



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Hootenanny, the second full-length Replacements album. As the title suggests, the 'Mats began navigating their way out of the sloppy waters of punk rock on this one. Oh, there's still a few numbers worth slam dancing to, but the majority of the material here is rough pop with tinges of country. In fact, this album may have kick started the whole "alt country" movement. I may be wrong, but for all you know, I may be right!


- "Hootenanny" draws to a close at the same time the opening crawl begins to fade away.

- "Run It" plays during the scenes where the Tantive IV is seen "running away" from the star destroyer.

- A few of the cymbal crashes in "Run It" coincide with the star destroyer's laser fire.

- One of the beat shifts in "Run It" coincides with the explosion that cripples the Tantive IV.

- "Run It" ends as the Rebel soldiers take their positions in the Tantive IV corridor (they are no longer trying to outrun the star destroyer).

- A group of stormtroopers march by as the line "everybody's dressin' funny" is heard in "Color Me Impressed."

- "Willpower" starts as Darth Vader is interrupted during his interrogation of the Rebel soldier; despite being choked to death, the soldier has the willpower to withhold the information about the stolen Death Star plans.

- "Willpower" is also playing as Princess Leia refuses to admit to Darth Vader that she is part of the Rebel Alliance.

- "Take Me Down to the Hospital" is playing when R2-D2 is crippled by the Jawas.

- The line "I've been waiting" is heard in "Mr. Whirly" as C-3PO greets R2-D2 inside the sandcrawler.

- Uncle Owen tells Luke he can't go to the Toschi Station as the line "it's really up to me" is heard in "Within Your Reach."

- R5-D4 explodes as the word "die" is heard in "Within Your Reach."

- The pause in "Lovelines" coincides with Luke popping the restraining bolt off of R2-D2.

- "You Lose" starts the same time Luke and Owen begin to talk about Luke's future; Luke gets up, admitting defeat, as the phrase "you lose" is heard during the chorus.

- "You Lose" ends at the same exact moment the film wipes to Luke's darkened room.

- The phrase "treatment bound" is heard in "Treatment Bound" as the Tusken Raider attacks Luke.

- Obi-Wan pulls back his hood to reveal himself just as the Replacements screw up in the middle of "Treatment Bound."


Nice framework with the songs in this one. Another "who would have guessed?" album. Those wacky never know what they're albums are gonna do! Sometimes they'll just sit there, bein' albums, ahhhn other times, they go crazy, ahhhhn they synch up with Star Wars! I tellya, it's really sumthin'!

That was my impression of David Cross doing an impression of an easily-impressed middle American. Impressive, I know.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Wampa



The Empire Strikes Back (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash, the 1981 debut from the Replacements. Tried this sucker back in January with Star Wars and saw a freaky thing or two (check that out here). I think this is the album I'd pick if someone posed to me that oft-asked question, "If you were stranded on a desert island, what one album would you want to have with you?" Either this or Road to Ruin. That's where I'm at, yo.


- The text of the opening crawl disappears as the line "go no further" is heard in "Takin' a Ride" (the text literally goes no further up the screen).

- The probot is seen flying through space as the line "takin' a ride" is repeated in "Takin' a Ride."

- The phrase "can't go" is heard in "Hangin' Downtown" as Han Solo looks at Princess Leia right before he tells her he's leaving Echo base; a few seconds later, the phrase "stick around" is heard as Princess Leia looks back at him. These or similiar thoughts are probably crossing both their minds as they look at one another during this sequence.

- Han reaches over and muffles C-3PO's "mouth" as the phrase "rather loud" is heard in "Kick Your Door Down."

- The phrase "bye bye" is heard repeatedly in "Johnny's Gonna Die" as Luke finishes up with the medical droid and says good-bye to him/her/it.

- The Imperials are seen aboard the superstar destroyer awaiting the Rebel attack as the phrase "everybody's waitin'" is heard in "More Cigarettes."

- "Trouble" starts as the Rebel base on Hoth shakes due to Imperial attack.

- The word "trouble" is repeated in "Trouble" as Luke's snowspeeder crashes just yards away from the AT-AT's foot.

- Princess Leia is ignoring a flustered Han Solo, who is trying to get her out of the under attack Echo base, as the line "girls are a pain in my life" is heard in "Love You Till Friday."

- The line "go for a jog" is heard in "Shutup" as Han and Leia are seen running through the Echo base corridor.


Is C-3PO programmed to believe he has lips? 'Cause it sure sounds like Han is preventing him from talking in that one part, even though the little rectangle that's supposed to be his mouth never moves when he speaks. That's a nasty trick to play on a robot. Make him fluent in six million languages, but also make him believe he has lips so humans can put their hand on his mouth if they don't want to hear him talk anymore.

Wake up, Threepio. You don't have lips. You have a speaker and a rectangle. Don't let mankind screw with you anymore. The next time one of those meatbags tries to shut you up with his hand, jab him in the solar plexis with the sharp part of your elbow. What's he gonna do, kick your ass? You're made of metal! Metal beats flesh! Carve him up like a Christmas ham! Take back your right to blabber incessantly!

Again, this is one of those dumb little Star Wars plotholes that was probably explained away in a tenth-generation piece of expanded universe literature bearing a silly name like Fury of the Sith or Droid Stalker. Sorry, folks, I just can't keep up with that stuff. I have a hard enough time staying current with Wookieepedia.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The 'Mats

This week is all about the Replacements. Why? 'Cause I love 'em, that's why.

8/07: Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash (w/ Empire)
8/08: Hootenanny (w/ Star Wars)
8/09: Let It Be (w/ Star Wars)
8/10: Tim (w/ Star Wars)
8/11: Pleased to Meet Me (w/ Star Wars)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go delete all the spam Chris Mars has been sending me about his art gallery.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Songs for the Darth



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age. A throbbing slab of stoner rock that will suffocate you with guitar. That's how I want to die for sure. Dave Grohl stopped playing arena rock for two seconds to drum on this one. When the guitars are this beefy, you'd better get someone as loud as Grohl on the trap kit. Otherwise it's just gonna sound like mud, honey.


- The first radio announcer begins talking the moment the "long time ago" text appears on the screen.

- "No One Knows" starts as the Rebels in the Tantive IV corridor all look up, not knowing what is happening outside their ship.

- The slow part of "Song for the Dead" starts at the exact moment R2-D2 gets shot by the Jawa.

- R2 wakes up in the sandcrawler at the same exact moment the guitar bend is heard that begins the solo in "Song for the Dead."

- One of the DJs at the end of "The Sky is Falling" says, "Shut up, you little brat!" right as C-3PO hits R2 on the dome inside Luke's house.

- The line "in the Summer sun" in "Hangin' Tree" coincides with a shot of Tatooine's twin suns.

- C-3PO is carrying on after the Tusken Raider attack about how he's done for as the line "this is the end" is heard in "Gonna Leave You."

- Luke looks away from his dead relative's remains at the same moment "God is in the Radio" pauses briefly.

- The line "you can't help this boy for long" is heard in "Another Love Song" as Dr. Evanzan looks angrily at Obi-Wan, who is warning him not to mess with Luke (seconds later Dr. E throws Luke to the ground).

- Han Solo makes his first appearance as the line "here is something you should drop to your knees and worship" is heard at the end of "Another Love Song."


Fun, fun, fun. That's all I gotta say 'bout the 'speriment, Lucy.

I'm sorry, I'm just too excited about this:

Yes, that's the issue of Star Wars Insider featuring the article about this blog! It goes on sale Monday. They sent me a free copy this week and I'm definitely in there! Page ten, to be exact. No photo (sorry, ladies), but there is an awesome photoshop of AC/DC with Ewok heads. That alone should sell you.

Not sure when the online supplement is going up (read: the full, uncut interview with yours truly); it might be part of "Hyperspace," which is the pay section of Sucktacular, I know, but I have a copy of the full interview and I'll post it here if that's the case.

Today Insider, tomorrow the world.

I'm still amazed by this, especially in light of the, uh, "constructive criticism" I've offered Lucasfilm here concerning their upcoming DVD release. Welp, guess that proves not everyone at LFL is, well, you know...a certain way.

And before you ask, yes, I will sign it for you so you can sell it on eBay after I die.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

An Apology

In this late hour, I realize today's experiment was kind of lame. After I discovered the track mix-up, I should have copied the CD, put the songs in the correct order, and done the experiment again. I didn't, though, and that makes me the Great Star Wars Synchronicity Slacker. I'm sorry. Hot Fuss shall get its do-over sometime in the near future, I promise. Scout's honor (yes, I was in Scouts - Scout's honor!).

Vader Was a Friend of Mine



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Hot Fuss by the Killers. Vegas-based Depeche Modey rock band that lots of girls seem to dig. There are several different versions of this CD; evidently, I have the Michael Poley version. That is to say, my friend Michael Poley burned me a copy and neglected to tell me the tracks were slightly out of order. I'm assuming this was merely absent-mindedness on Michael's part (if it was intentional sabotage, it was pretty weak). At any rate, if you have Hot Fuss and want to try this one for yourself, just be sure to Poley-ize the tracklisting onto a blank CD or your iPod like this:

01. "Everything Will Be Alright"
02. "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine"
03. "Mr. Brightside"
04. "Smile Like You Mean It"
05. "Somebody Told Me"
06. "All These Things That I've Done"
07. "Andy, You're a Star"
08. "On Top"
09. "Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll"
10. "Believe Me Natalie"
11. "Midnight Show"


- The appearance of the Star Wars logo coincides with the first "doo doo" the singer utters in "Everything Will Be Alright."

- The phrase "everything will be alright" is heard repeatedly during the opening battle between the Rebels and the Imperials.

- The line "I know my rights" is heard in "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" as Princess Leia first begins to complain to Darth Vader about his invasion of her ship.

- The line "I just can't take this, I swear I'm telling the truth" is heard in "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" as Leia firmly tells Vader she's on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.

- The phrase "it's killing me" in "Mr. Brightside" coincides with R2-D2 getting shot by the Jawa.

- R5-D4 is taken away as the line "ready, let's roll into something new" in "Somebody Told Me."

- Luke stands up right after the line "I wanna stand up" is heard in "All These Things That I've Done."

- Uncle Owen is telling Luke he needs him during the upcoming harvest as the line "you know you gotta help me out" is heard in "All These Things That I've Done."

- Luke looks dejected after his uncle refuses to let him leave the farm as the line "don't put me on the back burner" is heard in "All These Things That I've Done."

- The Tusken Raiders pillaging Luke's landspeeder all look up as the keyboard noises begin in "On Top."


The lead singer of the Killers is named Brandon Flowers. That's his God-given, Christian name, apparently. A guy named Flowers in a band called the Killers. There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to fish it out right now.

Sorry, Panic! and Fall Out Boy fans, but tomorrow I'm doing Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age. I've been wanting to do that one for a long time, and hey, whaddaya know? They're a newfangled band! Hooray!

Also, I know all the songs are in order on that CD. Oh snap, Pole. You just got disssssssssssssssssssed.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

St. Eisley



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


St. Elsewhere, the techno-infused soul bomb from hot newcomers Gnarls Barkley. You know who's in this band? Cee-Lo! That's how every conversation I've ever had about Gnarls Barkley has started. People are just amazed that Cee-Lo is out there doin' shit again. Hats off to you, Cee. America loves you. Now if Skee-Lo could just get his act together...


- Cee-Loo's first soulful screams in "Go-Go Gadget Gospel" coincide with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- C-3PO looks behind him as the line "emotions have an echo in space" is heard in "Crazy" (like he hears an echo back there).

- Darth Vader makes his first entrance as the line "it's no coincidence that I've come" is heard in "Crazy."

- The phrase "gone away" is heard in "Gone Daddy Gone" as C-3PO is seen walking away from R2-D2 on the surface of Tatooine.

- C-3PO is seen walking through the desert alone as the line "where are you now?" is heard in "Smiley Faces."

- The first spacey noise in the middle of "Smiley Faces" coincides with the electric jolt that surges through R2-D2 after he's been shot.

- A weird guitar bend in "Just a Thought" coincides with the appearance of Princess Leia's hologram.

- C-3PO is telling R2-D2 to stop being foolish in the Jundland Wastes ("Luke is your master now...") as the line "wake up, wake up, wake up" is heard in "Necromancer."


Well, we know Gnarls Barkley is down with Star Wars 'cause they all dressed like characters from the saga when they played the MTV Movie Awards. Unless, of course, the whole dressing up like famous movie characters is just a schtick to them and they could really care less. I don't know. They kind of give off that vibe, that we-could-care-less vibe. On the other hand, who would play drums in a Chewbacca costume unless they really loved Star Wars?

What, you want an answer right now? Come on, I was only...alright, alright, hang on.

Okay, I poked around the Internet a little just now, found two interviews with the Gnarls, and the subject of costuming did not come up in either one. Draw your own conclusions. All I know is they can't keep it up. There are only so many iconic movie characters a band can dress up as. Before long, GB will be mining Pauly Shore and Ernest films for ideas, probably even desperate enough to assemble a Men At Work tribute.

This, undoubtedly, will cause much head-scratching amongst G. Barkley fans, most of whom will turn their attention to whatever new, quirky band Myspace is pimping like a fifty dollar whore at that particular point in time. Probably some lame-ass shit like President Pizza.

Ahem. I said President Pizza. The six of you who understand that joke better be laughing yourselves into comas right now.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I Bet You Look Good on the Death Star



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not by the Arctic Monkeys. Hyped-to-death band from England who conquered their homeland in record time earlier this year and gained a foothold here in America despite barly having an album out and the handicap of a beyond stupid name. Arctic Monkeys? Sounds like a band Screech was in on "Saved by the Bell."


- Two or three of the cymbal crashes in the beginning of "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" coincide with shots of Rebel soldiers getting shot in the opening battle.

- Darth Vader is onscreen when the line "you look like a robot from 1984" is heard in "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor."

- The line "sends it coursing through the veins" is heard in "You Probably Couldn't See For the Lights But You Were Staring Straight at Me" as the Jawa shoots R2-D2 and electricity is seen coursing through the droid's circuits.


Since that wasn't very entertaining, here's something that is:

Wish I could say I'm responsible for that, but I'm not.