Saturday, April 29, 2006

Dead Kenobis

Okay, I still need a little time to figure out the 1977 and 1997 themes, so next week will be dedicated to Dead Kennedys, the one monstrous California punk band I didn't get to last week.

5/01: Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
5/02: Plastic Surgery Disasters
5/03: Frankenchrist
5/04: Bedtime for Democracy
5/05: Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death

As an added bonus, I'll finally reveal for the first time anywhere the bizarre story of my aborted DK biography, authorized by 3/4 of the band. It's a real doozy.

Oh, and big thanks to the Bad Religion fan who submitted something about the Gray Race experiment to I really appreciate that. An entire week of the Relig is being coordinated, so stay tuned!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Darth Sincerity



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


The Gray Race, Bad Religion's eleventh record and their first without founding member Brett Gurewitz (who would eventually return after his label Epitaph was no longer the "it" record company). Contains the semi-hit "A Walk." First Bad Religion album I ever heard, and the only one I listen to on a consistent basis. Features wacky packaging, with tons of black and white photos of people completely unrelated to the band.


- "Them and Us" begins at the exact moment the Tantive IV flies onscreen, being chased by the much larger star destroyer.

- The line "it fills us all with trepidation" in "Them and Us" coincides with the Rebel soldiers in the Tantive IV reacting to the frightening noises outside the ship as it is captured by the star destroyer.

- The breakdown in "Them and Us" coincides with the explosion of the Tantive IV door; the lines "we can take them all" are repeated as the stormtroopers enter the ship.

- The first two lines of "A Walk" ("I'm going for a walk, not the after dinner kind") coincide with the shot of R2-D2 receiving the Death Star plans from Princess Leia (you could say that Artoo was "going for a walk" to deliver the plans to Obi-Wan Kenobi).

- When the two lines mentioned above are heard for the second time, we see Rebel soldiers being marched through the Tantive IV corridor.

- The line "all alone I'll be an empire" in "A Walk" is heard as we see Darth Vader choking the Rebel soldier.

- The lines "I'm going for a walk and there's nothing you can do, 'cause I don't have to live like you" are heard in "A Walk" as Artoo makes his way into the escape pod, ignoring C-3PO's verbal warnings.

- The slow part in the beginning of "Parallel" coincides with the escape pod's flight to Tatooine; the fast part begins the moment the film cuts to Princess Leia being lead to Vader.

- The lyric "our lives are parallel" in "Parallel" is heard as Artoo and Threepio are seen walking out of the escape pod.

- The phrase "independent trajectories" in "Parallel" coincides with Threepio kicking Artoo and deciding to go a different way on Tatooine.

- The line "have you been to the desert?" is heard in "Punk Rock Song" as Threepio walks through the Tatooine desert.

- The camera is on Artoo, who is looking around the canyon on Tatooine, when the line "there's so many other fuckin' robots out there" is heard in "Punk Rock Song."

- The stormtrooper holds up the piece of Threepio he finds in the desert just as the line "everything you find" is heard in "Empty Causes."

- The line "hey mister, don't point at me" in "Nobody Listens" coincides with the Jawa pointing his gun at Threepio aboard the sandcrawler.

- As R5-D4 explodes, the phrase "suffering, decay" is heard in "Pity the Dead."

- "Spirit Shine" begins the moment Princess Leia's hologram appears in Luke's room; the song ends moments after her hologram disappears.

- The phrase "bald dismay" is heard in "Streets of America" as Luke gets up from the table, disgusted with his Uncle's rules.

- Right after the scream in the middle of "Ten in 2010," Luke and Threepio look around as if they heard it.

- The line "scared shitless 'cause evil abounds" in "Come Join Us" coincides with Luke's horrified reaction to Obi-Wan's story about his father's death.

- The chorus to "Come Join Us" ("come join us") is heard as Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke to come to Alderaan with him.

- The line "what was once is reduced to remembrance" in "Cease" coincides with Admiral Motti's remarks about Vader's "sad devotion" to an "ancient religion."


Although I wasn't expecting much success with this experiment, I can't say I'm surprised by the results. This may sound strange, but I've always associated The Gray Race with Star Wars. I was listening to it constantly around the time the news broke about the Special Editions in late '96. Maybe that's some kind of sign. Maybe I should do an entire week of records that were out and popular during the late nineties Star Wars resurgence.

Hey, yeah, I like that idea! Actually, I could do one week of records that were on the charts between May and December of 1977 (the first peak of Star Wars hysteria), and the next week, all the big ones from January to March of 1997 (when the SEs were out). I think I'd be into that. Let me do a little research and see what I could possibly hook up. I'm excited!

I'm considering a second playthrough with Bad Religion here. What do you think? Yay? Nay? Could be interesting. Aw hell, I'll do it, just because I know I'll have thirty-eight minutes to burn sometime this weekend.

If anyone out there knows Greg Graffin's or Greg Hetson's e-mail address, why don't you go ahead and send them a link to this? They might get a kick out of it. Thanks in advance!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Your Droid's Off the Hook, But You're Not



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Los Angeles, the very first record from X. Robert Christgau once wrote that X was a bunch of "sexy thrift-shopping bohos" who "make a smart argument for a desperately stupid scene." That about sums it up. Ray Manzarek from the Doors produced and played keyboards on this one, which, depending on your point of view, either raises or lowers the record's credibility (personally, I'm on the fence).


- The line "she wasn't what you'd call living, really" in "Johnny Hit and Run Paulene" coincides with Darth Vader's first entrance.


Looks like we're in Slumpsville, population 2 (yesterday and today's experiments).

Hey, remember when Darrell Hammond did that monologue as Jesse Jackson on "Saturday Night Live" and he mentioned X? It was the show Chris Rock hosted. Rock reprised his Nat X character, and Hammond appeared as Jackson on "The Dark Side." His rambling diatribe went something like this:

"I only know that your last name...your last name X is a symbol of which all African Americans, from old Mississippi preachers to the Yankee Stadium bleachers, from the topper down, not the bottom up, gibbety gibbety, rat-a-tat-tat - I’m talkin’ about X. X, as in great civil rights leader Malcom X. X, as in 5-star Las Vegas hotel Excalibur. X as in "X-Files," or the show "Extra!," which is better than "Inside Edition." X as in the movie Exorcist 3. X as in the band X, and not the Brand X, the X-Man, NightCrawler and Colossus. X as in I’ block!"

Is DH super down with X, or just aware of their existence and comedic value to "Dark Side" skits? If my childhood dream of hosting/working for "SNL" ever comes true, I'll be sure to ask him (because you know he'll still be there, he's never gonna quit, he's gonna die on that stage one night in the middle of a Donald Trump impression).

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Circle of Obi-Wan



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


MIA, the complete Germs anthology. You know, the Germs, that band Pat Smear was in before Nirvana. Dude busted out some truly sick riffs back then. The beginning of "No God?" Slays me every time, bro. Every time! Now watch me find out somebody else played that part. I'll look like a complete fool! Oh well, wouldn't be the first time.

[4/28/06: I was informed today by a source close to the Germs that Pat Smear did in fact play all the guitar parts on "No God," as well as every other Germs song. No foolin'. Apparently, though, that beginning part of "No God" is lifted from a Yes song. Still, it's totally sick, and it's totally sick that Pat played it.]


- The line "I am bigger than" in "Forming" is heard as the star destroyer soars into view, chasing the much smaller Tantive IV.

- The line "gimme gimme this, gimme gimme that" in "Lexicon Devil" coincides with Darth Vader choking the Rebel soldier (Vader wants the guy to give him the Death Star plans).

- Vader's choking victim is thrown to the ground and bangs his head againts the wall as the line "I'm a Lexicon Devil with a battered brain" is heard in "Lexicon Devil."

- The phrase "circle of lies" is heard in "Circle of One" as Vader calls out Princess Leia on her lie of being on a diplomatic mission.

- "What We Do Is Secret" plays as the Jawas spy on R2-D2 in the Tatooine canyon (at least once, the chorus of "what we do is secret!" coincides with a shot of a Jawa peeking at R2 from behind a rock).

- The line "I've got this creature on my back" in "Manimal" coincides with Luke's reaction to his Uncle's refusal to let him go to the Academy ("That's a whole 'nother season!").

- During "The Other Newest One," the line "you're not the first, you're not the last" is heard; the camera is on Obi-Wan for the "you're not the first" part, and then it cuts to Luke for the "you're not the last." As we learn in Empire Strikes Back, Obi-Wan was not the first of his kind (Yoda), and Luke is not the last of his kind ("there is another...").

- The chorus of "Caught in My Eye" ("I got you caught in my eye") plays as Garindan spies on Obi-Wan and Luke and tips off the stormtroopers.

- "Lion's Share" is playing as Luke and Han discuss the huge reward they might get for rescuing Princess Leia.


Choose the answer you feel best completes the following sentence:

I did not write any notes for this experiment because ____________ .

A. I couldn't think of anything to say.
B. I couldn't think of anything funny to say.
C. Vinnie Goombats called me and I got distracted.
D. I have become bitter and jaded about the GSWSP.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Hour of Darthness



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Mommy's Little Monster, the 1983 debut album from Social Distortion. Includes "The Creeps," "Another State of Mind," "Hour of Darkness," and the title cut, a rollicking punkabilly number that guys with spiderweb tattoos always get jazzed about when it comes on in bars. I'm not hatin' on those guys, I'm just sayin'...they get jazzed.


- The line "there's gonna be a fight tonight, I know" in "Another State of Mind" is heard as we see R2-D2 looking around the corridor of the Tantive IV (it almost seems like this could be his exact thought at that moment).


Pretty weak, Social D. Maybe if you guys hadn't written so many songs about how awesome punk rock was and tried writing one or two about lightsabers, then we'd be somewhere. Goddamn you, Social D! You let me down!

Am I crazy, or did some kid sue Mike Ness a year or two or three ago for smashing his video camera/teeth in at a Social D concert? They got into an argument about George Bush or something? I'll have to Google "Mike Ness + George Bush + lawsuit" later on. I bet they settled out of court. Ness probably took the money he had saved up for his third solo album, Killin' Time in Purgatory, and bought the kid a new car. Punk rock.

Here's another question: did I make Killin' Time in Purgatory up, or was that really the title of something? I don't know either!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Spray Paint (Vader's Helmet)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Damaged by Black Flag, the legendary hardcore group's first full-length album. Also their first outing with singer Henry Rollins. Contains numerous classic Flag cuts, including "Rise Above," "T.V. Party," "Depression," and "Damaged I." 'Twas the subject of a big legal mess after MCA Prez Al Bergamo refused to distribute it due to the "anti-parent" nature of the lyrics; BF decided to distribute Damaged themselves, got sued for breach of contract, and couldn't release anything afterwards for two years. All the more reason to just do it yourself in the first place, kids!


- The pick slide at the beginning of "Rise Above" coincides with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- When the cymbal taps in "Six Pack" begin, C-3PO and the Rebel soldiers aboard the Tantive IV look up, as if they can hear them.

- The guitar in "Six Pack" starts as the stormtroopers start coming through the blasted Tantive IV door.

- The lyric "I'm cheated by what I see" is heard in "What I See" as Darth Vader chokes the Rebel soldier, angry that he cannot locate the stolen Death Star plans.

- The line "I wanna live" in "What I See" coincides with Threepio deciding to get into the escape pod after the nearby explosion.

- The phrase "it's broken!" is heard in "T.V. Party" right before Threepio kicks Artoo on Tatooine.

- Right after Artoo is sucked up into the sandcrawler, the line "they put me away" is heard in "Police Story."

- The line "there ain't no relief for a person like me" in "Depression" coincides with the first shot of Luke.

- The line "keep me alive, only you can do it" in "Room 13" coincides with Artoo being chosen by Luke and Uncle Owen as a replacement for the busted R5-D4.

- Luke is in his room bitching about being stuck on Tatooine as the line "it's hard to survive, don't know if I can do it" is heard in "Room 13."

- The first bass thump of "No More" is heard as Luke says to his Uncle, "I've also been thinking about our agreement..."; the thumps continue, getting faster and faster as the two begin arguing about Luke's future. The actual song starts right as the film cuts to Luke staring at the sunset, and the lines "I won't believe that this is all, I'm not happy, I'm not free" are heard.

- The line "maniacs!" is repeated as we see the Tusken Raiders mounting their Banthas; it is heard again as Artoo's sensors go off in the Jundland Wastes, warning Luke and Threepio of the Tusken Raiders' presence.


Impressive. Most impressive. This experiment was full of surprises...but it is not a Jedi yet. Nor will it ever be, since it's quite impossible for a non-tangible object such as a scientific experiment (and I use the word "scientific" very loosely) to undertake a spiritual and/or religious journey...especially a fictional one!

Oh wait, according to the 2001 Australian census, Jedi is a real religion now. Whoops. I apologize if I offended anyone in my vast Aussie fanbase with the preceding paragraph. Here, let me make an official statement:

"I suppose if I had said Vulcans were fictional, I would have gotten away with it. I'm sorry I opened my mouth. I'm not anti-Yoda, anti-Kenobi, or anti-Jedi. I wasn't knocking it or putting it down. I was just saying it as a fact and it's true more for America than Australia. I'm not saying that we're better or greater, or comparing, I don't know, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor with Qui-Gon Jinn as a person or Jedi as a thing or whatever it is. I just said what I said and it was wrong. Or it was taken wrong. And now it's all this."

Phew. That oughtta hold the little S.O.B.s.

P.S. - This post would have been up sooner, but blogger was acting a fool.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Cali Punks Beat Grunge Kingpins

The ballots are in, the votes have been counted, and we can officially delcare a winner in the race for next week's theme - "Monsters of California Punk." Here's the schedule:

4/24: Black Flag - Damaged
4/25: Social Distortion - Mommy's Little Monster
4/26: The Germs - MIA
4/27: X - Los Angeles
4/28: Bad Religion - The Gray Race

Congratulations, punkers. You trounced those unshaven, flannel-wearing pawn shop jockeys.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Pictures of Leia

[2:02 P.M., 4/21/06: I didn't realize the blog was set up to only accept comments from registered users. D'oh! I fixed it, so now any ol' jerk can cast their vote for next week. Who's it gonna be, Nirvana or "Monsters of California Punk?" Post a comment below naming your choice, and at midnight I'll declare a winner. Rawk!]



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


BBC Sessions by the Who. Released in 1999, this CD collects all the songs Pete n' Pals laid down for Radio One in their native land of England. The performances are rousing, marred only by the jackass host who feels it necessary to talk over the start of numerous songs. Don't you hate it when people do that?


- One of the many "leavin' heres" in "Leaving Here" coincides with C-3PO walking away from R2-D2 in the desert of Tatooine.

- Pete Townshend is heard saying, "Yeah, we switched it all together" between songs as Luke and Uncle Owen swap out the broken R5-D4 for R2-D2 at the robot auction.

- The first line of "Run Run Run" (which is "run, run, run!") coincides with Obi-Wan reacting to the Tusken Raider cry in the distance and telling Luke they should amscray already.

- The line "ain't the luckiest girl I know" in "Run Run Run" is heard as we see Threepio lying on the ground after the Tusken Raider attack, missing an arm and feeling miserable.

- The phrase "we have a remedy" in "A Quick One, While He's Away" is heard numerous times as Obi-Wan remedies the situation between Dr. Evanzan and Luke in the cantina by slicing Evanzan's arm off.

- The very first "dang!" in "A Quick One, While He's Away" coincides with Han's look of disbelief following Obi-Wan's generous offer for his services.

- The line "I won't get to get what I'm after" is heard in "The Seeker" as we see the star destroyer chasing the Millennium Falcon after it leaves Tatooine (the star destroyer does not get what it's after, because Han and the guys make the jump to hyperspace).


This was a long eighty minutes. Maybe that's because I've listened to so many of these songs already this week. I was thinking about selling BBC Sessions soon, because I want to buy all the other Who albums and this one doesn't offer anything truly unique (aside from some light banter and a few fake radio ads).

Time to figure out what I'm doing next week. It's either gonna be Nirvana or "Monsters of California Punk." Hey, why don't we have a vote on it? Leave a comment on this post for one or the other. Whichever theme gets the most votes by midnight tonight I'll do. I'm mad democratic like that, son.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Droids Are Alright



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


The Kids Are Alright, the soundtrack to the 1979 documentary of the same name. A collection of live performances and studio cuts spanning the Who's career up to that point. Strangely, the actual song "The Kids Are Alright" is not heard in the movie, nor is it included on the soundtrack. Odd, but forgivable.


- In the interview segment before "My Generation," Tommy Smothers says, "Okay, that's enough!" just as the opening crawl ends.

- One of the many "can't explains" in "I Can't Explain" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldier being choked by Darth Vader; he is being choked because he cannot offer any explanation as to the whereabouts of the stolen Death Star plans.

- One of the choruses of "I Can See For Miles" is heard as C-3PO is seen walking through the Tatooine desert alone, with nothing in sight for miles.

- "Magic Bus" begins as the Jawas pick R2-D2 up to carry him to the sandcrawler and fades out right before the start of the robot auction (basically, the song plays through all the scenes where we see the sandcrawler moving); the line "to get on the bus that takes me to you" is heard right before R2 is sucked up into the monstrous vehicle (the sandcrawler, obviously, is the "bus" that "takes" R2 to Luke).

- The phrase "rock is dead" in "Long Live Rock" coincides with Luke yelling to Uncle Owen about the broken R5-D4.

- "Young Man Blues" plays through the scene where Luke argues with Uncle Owen about his future; the line "young man ain't got nothin' in the world today" is heard while the camera is on Luke, and moments later, when Uncle Owen is talking about Obi-Wan having died the same time as Luke's father, the line "in the old days when young man was strong" is heard.

- The line "we have a remedy" in "A Quick One, While He's Away" is heard as Obi-Wan Jedi mind-tricks the stormtrooper in Mos Eisley.

- The line "from you, I get opinions" in "See Me, Feel Me" coincides with Han making a sarcastic remark to Luke after the Jedi training ball singes his leg; moments later, as Obi-Wan is reassuring Luke about his skills, the line "from you, I get the story" is heard.

- "Won't Get Fooled Again" begins as we see Luke and Han dressed as stormtroopers, leading Chewbacca to the detention block.


Hands down, the "Magic Bus" synch was the best part. I can totally imagine the Jawas listening to that goofy song all day as they cruise the sands of Tatooine, hijacking stray robots and selling them to moisture farmers at an incredble markup.

Just imagine that! Isn't it fitting? Okay, now imagine a Jawa in a teenager's bedroom, putting Who's Next on a turntable and playing air guitar to "Won't Get Fooled Again." Doesn't that crack you up? I'm giggling like David Arquette over here.

Wait, I just thought of something even funnier. What if a Jawa showed up on "What's Happening!!" and challenged Rerun to a dance off? Now that would be funny. No, wait, wait, I got it - what if a Jawa was caught bootlegging that Doobie Brothers concert instead of Rerun? AHHHHHHH!!! That would hilarious!

Thank you, George Lucas. Thank you for inventing Jawas. Their inherent comical nature makes them ripe for fantasy, and the various situations I can imagine them in are a sweet relief from the painful reality of 2006, a year in which you continue to act like a completely dried-up, insecure money-licker bent on turning Hollywood into one giant green screen.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Bantha O'Riley



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Who's Next by the Who. 1971 masterpiece often noted for its synthesizer work, some of the earliest of its kind. Contains uber-hits such as "Baba O'Riley," "Behind Blue Eyes," and "Won't Get Fooled Again." If you aren't familiar with any of these three songs, you must be a newborn. The cover of this record is just as renowned as the music; it depicts the band after having just urinated on a giant slab of stone.


- The explosion that rocks the Tantive IV coincides with the drum hits that occur right after Pete Townshend's interlude in "Baba O'Riley" (the part where he sings, "It's only teenage wasteland").

- The first two or three drum hits after Roger Daltrey screams, "They're all wasted!" in "Baba O'Riley" synch up with the edits between the Rebel soldiers in the Tantive IV corridor and the door the stormtroopers bust through.

- The line "I'd gladly lose me to find you" is heard in "Bargain" as we see the stormtroopers searching for Princess Leia on the Tantive IV.

- The line "I'm looking for that free ride" is heard in "Bargain" as the escape pod carrying the droids floats down to Tatooine.

- We see R2-D2 being carried away by the Jawas as the line "my life's in jeopardy" is heard in "My Wife."

- The line "keep me moving" in "Going Mobile" coincides with the Tusken Raiders running away from Obi-Wan.

- Obi-Wan is telling Luke how his father died as the line "tell me some bad news" is heard in "Behind Blue Eyes."

- Obi-Wan is trying to convince Luke to come with him to Tatooine as the line "the men who spurred us on" is heard in "Won't Get Fooled Again."

- Moff Tarkin walks into the Death Star conference room and starts talking about the dissolve of the Imperial Senate as we hear the line "a change, it had to come" in "Won't Get Fooled Again."


Interesting stuff. I think the "tell me some bad news" bit was my favorite part.

You know, dear readers, some people interpret the cover of Who's Next as the Who showing their disdain for 2001: A Space Odyssey, because that slab looks like the slab the apes in that movie freak out over. Are the Who not down with sci-fi? Are they not down with Kubrick? Are they creationists? Does Pete Townshend have a Jesus fish on his car? I don't know, I've never passed him on the highway.

One thing I know the Who are all about: "CSI." Three "CSI" programs, three theme songs provided by the Who (two of which are from this album). Even though Who songs have been all over car ads and junk like that, I don't think they've ever been T.V. show theme songs before. I could be wrong. If I'm not...well, people have probably asked before to use Who songs as themes, right? So why do you think the band agreed to let "CSI" use a few?

Hey Who, why let "CSI" use a few?
you could just as easily boog-a-loo
down to the welfare office and form a que
for old fogey rock stars who can't get off the loo

That was my impromptu poetry slam about the Who/"CSI" situation. Hope you liked it.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Can See For Parsecs



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Sell Out, a.k.a. The Who Sell Out, a.k.a. that one album that's supposed to sound like a pirate radio broadcast. Neat concept, good tunes, and funny pictures on the cover. Daltrey marinating in a tub full of beans! I wonder...did they dump all those beans after the photo shoot, or did they give them to homeless people and not tell them some guy's butt had been soaking in them for over five minutes? Now I know what to ask Roger when I meet him.


- The last horn blast in the commercial that precedes "Armenia in the Sky" coincides with the appearance of the Star Wars logo.

- The phrase "city in the sky" during the chorus of "Armenia in the Sky" is heard as we see the star destroyer lumbering across the screen; during the next chorus, the phrase is heard again as C-3PO and the Rebel soldiers hear the sounds of the star destroyer above them and look up towards the ceiling.

- The loud pop at the end of "Armenia in the Sky" coincides with the exact moment the door on the Tantive IV bursts into flames.

- The phrase "then I suddenly seen" in "Mary Anne with the Shaky Hand" is heard as Threepio spots R2-D2 with Princess Leia.

- The line "Mary is so pretty" coincides with the shot of Princess Leia removing her hood and ducking behind the pipes.

- Uncle Owen finally decides to buy Threepio from the Jawas as we hear the line "you still want me" in "I Can See For Miles."

- The line "I know you've deceived me, now here's a suprise" is heard as Luke exposes the bad motivator on the R2 unit the Jawas have just sold him and his Uncle.

- The phrase "relax and settle down" is heard in "Relax" as Luke is seen staring at the suns after the heated exchange with his Uncle.

- The Tusken Raider springs his surprise attack on Luke and Threepio as we hear the line "all the little kids were shocked when Silas was about" in "Silas Stingy."

- Luke is lying on the ground unconscious while the Tusken Raiders rifle through his landspeeder as the lines "someone will steal it all, you'll be lying in the gutter with an empty box, the thieves will be having a ball" are heard in "Silas Stingy."

- "Sunrise" starts as Obi-Wan reacts to hearing his Jedi name for the first time in years.

- The line "Rael, the home of my religion" is heard in "Rael 1" as Obi-Wan explains the concept of the Force to Luke.

- The line "now captain, listen to my instructions" is heard in "Rael 1" as Obi-Wan listens to Princess Leia's instructions via hologram.

- The line "he's crazy, anyway" coincides with Vader Force-choking Admiral Motti over Motti's snide comments.


This experiment came very close to not happening. As I was rewinding the tape from yesterday's synch, the VCR started to act up. It wasn't long before I heard that telltale crinkling sound that means your VHS is being eaten alive. The magnetic tape that was dangling from the cassette after I ejected it was more wrinkled than Abe Vigoda; I was certain the GSWSP would be put on indefinite hold until I could acquire a new copy of Star Wars.

Luckily, both the tape and the machine decided to cooperate after a little TLC, and now it works fine. Oh sure, there are a few fuzzy lines during that part where the VCR tried to have its little snack (the scene where Vader chokes the Rebel soldier), but that's it. The rest of the movie looks great, like it's fresh out the box. Why, you'd never know it was an eleven year old tape playing on a fifteen year old machine. For serious!

Okay, maybe if you had just watched the DVD of Star Wars, then maybe, if you were looking at my tape, you'd wrinkle up your nose and say, "Ugh, when did you get THIS? During the CLINTON Administration?"

Then I'd be all like, "Yeah...I did. You wanna make something of it?" I'd say that in a very David Spade-esque manner, sounding more upset and offended than angry.

Speaking of which, I really think they turned that "Showbiz Show" around this season. I watched it last night, and I laughed out loud several times. Way to go, Spade and Co.

Anyway, the only thing I wanted to say about the experiment itself is that I stopped at "Rael 1" because that's where the original version of the album ended, even though I have the CD rerelease that contains ten bonus tracks and extends Sell Out past seventy minutes. If you haven't figured it out already, I'm kind of purist.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Jedi and Strange



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


A Quick One, the Who's second album. Famous for its title track, a nine-minute opus that tells the story of a cheating wife through numerous portions of (seemingly) unfinished songs. Also contains "So Sad About Us," supposedly one of the most covered Who songs in the world. Probably not more covered than "My Generation," but certainly more covered than "You Better You Bet."


- The line "where ever you run, I'll be following you" in "Run Run Run" is heard as we see the star destroyer chasing the Tantive IV over Tatooine.

- The line "now he's up above my head" in "Boris the Spider" coincides with a shot of the Rebel soldiers in the corridor of the Tantive IV looking to the ceiling, listening to the star destroyer that's above them.

- The door on the Tantive IV explodes at the same time the line "heading for the bedroom door" is heard in "Boris the Spider."

- The phrase "I can't see" in "Boris the Spider" coincides with a shot of the smoke-filled corridor.

- "I Need You" starts as C-3PO is seen looking for R2-D2, who he needs to escape; the next shot is of Princess Leia with R2, who she needs to carry the Death Star plans.

- Darth Vader is seen choking the Rebel soldier, trying to get information out of him, at the same time the line "please talk to me again" is heard in "I Need You."

- Three of four stormtroopers are searching for Leia as the line "we want to learn" is heard in "I Need You."

- "Heatwave" starts as we see Threepio walking through the Tatooine desert by himself.

- "Cobwebs and Strange" begins at the same time all the Jawas come out to carry Artoo to the sandcrawler (this is kind of notable because of that scene in The Kids Are Alright where "Cobwebs" begins playing as the members of the Who discover a robotic Keith Moon during an afternoon tea party and play with him).

- The line "let's have a smile for an old engine driver" in "A Quick One, While He's Away" coincides with a shot of Luke piloting his landspeeder across the Jundland Wastes.

- As Luke wakes up after the Tusken Raider attack and looks in disbelief at Obi-Wan, the line "I can't believe it" is heard in "A Quick One, While He's Away."

- The album ends exactly as the film wipes to the exterior of Obi-Wan's homestead.


This experiment marks one of the very few times an album ending has coincided with a major edit in the film. I can't even recall the last time that happened. Hey, maybe it never has. Maybe this is the first instance. Break out the noise makers.

That "Cobwebs and Strange" part is definitely the first time music has matched events that it played behind in other films. Granted, the Jawas were not having a tea party and R2-D2 did not arrive in a giant brown box, but it's close enough for me. Group of people discover a robot, mess around with it, decide keep it. Case closed!

In other news, I wrote up a F.A.Q. last night. Click here to look at it (or just scroll down a little - it's right below this).

Frequently Asked Questions

So, how do you do this? Do you watch the movies with the sound on while the CD is playing or what?

No, that would be too confusing. I mute the movie right after I start the CD.

And when do you do that?

When do I start each CD? Unless otherwise noted, after the second drumroll in the Twentieth Century Fox fanfare. What I do is I put the CD in my stereo, hit play twice to pause it right at the beginning, start the VHS tape, wait for that second drumroll, and right after that I unpause the CD and the experiment begins.

Why don't you just use the DVDs? All that rewinding has got to be annoying.

It is, but I purposely didn't buy the 2004 DVD set because it didn't include the original theatrical versions of the films (which are the versions I use for this project and the versions I have enjoyed watching for many years). I won't be buying the 2006 DVDs, either, because the original versions they're presenting in that set will be unrestored, non-anamorphic "bonus" faetures. Until Lucasfilm decides to treat the original Star Wars films and their fans with more respect, I'm sticking with my VHS tapes.

Why are you doing all this? Are you that bored and lonely?

I'm doing this because it's interesting and fun. When I started this blog, I didn't really know what to do. Then, after the infamous La Starwarscisto experiment (link), my friend Nathan suggested I devote the whole thing to synching up different albums with Star Wars. It sounded like a good idea, so I tried it. Lo and behold, I started to really get into it, and here we are today (for the record, it was my friend Shane who came up with the idea of theme weeks).

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Who's On Blog?

"Say, Mr. Greene, I hear a world famous musical act is going to be appearing on your blog next week."

"That's right, Mr. Finkelstein. Next week, right here on my blog, will be the Who."

"The who?"

"Yeah, that's right, the Who!"

"Wait a minute, I wanna know the name of the band that's gonna be on this blog next week."

"The Who."


"Alright, then we're all squared away."

"What?! How can we be all squared away when you haven't even told me their name?"

"The Who?"



[Finkelstein bites knuckles, audience roars with laughter. Bit goes on like this for approximately forty-five minutes until giant hook slowly comes out from stage right and yanks the vaudevillians off.]


4/17: A Quick One
4/18: The Who Sell Out
4/19: Who's Next
4/20: The Kids Are Alright
4/21: BBC Sessions

Wear your earplugs. It's going to be some loud reading.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Tom Skywalker



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Moving Pictures by Rush. Contains the quintessential Rush hit, "Tom Sawyer." If you told Mark Twain way back in 1889 that his most famous literary creation would one day live on in a classic rock song by three Canadian prog rockers, I'm sure he would have had something insightful to say in response. Probably something like, "What the hell is classic rock? I'm from the 19th century. All I know about is the music they play on riverboats."

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The lyrics "catch the myth, catch the mystery, catch the drift" in "Tom Sawyer" are heard during the opening crawl.

- The phrase "no one knows about" in "Red Barchetta" coincides with the shot of Princess Leia looknig around the corner and then quickly hiding.

- The pick slide in "Red Barchetta" coincides with the escape pod flying across the screen in front of the Imperial guys.

- The line "everybody got mixed feelings" is heard in "Vital Signs" as we see Admiral Motti and the Imperial guy with the Caeser haircut arguing about how to govern the galaxy.


The pictures may have moved, but they sure didn't synch. By the way, a Barchetta is a kind of car, in case you were wondering about that. You thought it was some kind of elf, didn't you? That's alright, so did I. No one's gonna mistake us for gearheads anytime soon, are they? Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Jacob's Lightsaber



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Permanent Waves, the Rush album that gave the world such classics as "The Spirit of Radio" and "Freewill." Features some girl on the cover whose face looks like a skull if you just glance at it. Was that intentional? I don't know. I e-mailed Alex Lifeson about it, but he was too busy getting tasered to answer me.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The door blasts open on the Tantive IV at the same exact moment that ridiculous scale starts in "The Spirit of Radio" (you know the part that goes, "do do do do do, do do do do do do do, DO DO DO, DA DO DO DO...").

- The lines "I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose freewill" are heard in "Freewill" as C-3PO is seen walking away from R2-D2 on Tatooine.

- The line "The clouds are parting" in "Jacob's Ladder" is heard as Threepio spots Artoo inside the sandcrawler.

- The lyric "different eyes see different things, different hearts beat on different strings" is heard in "Different Strings" during the argument Luke has with his Uncle Owen about staying on the farm another season.

- Luke and Threepio look around the Jundland Wastes as the arpeggio in "Natural Science" starts, as if they can hear it.


This one made Super Bowl I look like Super Bowl III. Am I right? Okay, the "Different Strings" part with Luke and Uncle Owen was something else, but the rest? Why, it made New Coke look like Crystal Pepsi! I'd go so far as to say this experiment made Joey Gladstone look like Jesse Katsopolis! I'm sorry if that's going too far, but it's just how I feel. You know I refuse to censor myself.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A Passage to Alderaan



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


2112, the 1976 Rush album whose title track is a mini-opera that revolves around some guy in the future who finds a guitar and tries to change the world with it. Like most musicians, he is ignored by the establishment and is forced to retreat to a cave, where he dies alone and unappreciated. It is unlikely that this fate will befall any member of Rush (unless the Red Star of the Solar Federation they prophesized actually comes to pass, in which case we're all kinda screwed).

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "high like a mountain" in "Discovery" coincides with a shot of a large, mountainous sand dune on Tatooine.

- In "Presentation," the line "we know it will reach you" is heard as Threepio spots the sandcrawler.

- The line "see the hand of man arise" in "Oracle: The Dream" is heard as the stormtrooper on Tatooine holds up his hand with the piece of Threepio in it.

- Princess Leia's hologram appears in Obi-Wan's dwelling the same time the strings begin at the end of "Tears."

- The camera is on Luke as we hear the line "waiting for someone to come and turn the world around" in "Something for Nothing."

- The camera is on Admiral Motti, who is going on about the Death Star being the "ultimate power in the universe," as we hear the line "what you love is your own power" in "Something for Nothing."


This one was weaker than Pope John Paul II on his death bed. I mean, it was lamer than a three-legged dog after Mardis Gras. We're talkin' more uneventful than a chess match between Don Zimmer and Don King. Come on, I'm givin' ya gold here! Ah, go back to your "Prison Break."

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Cygnus X-1 Bocchi II



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Hemispheres by Rush. Only four tracks, one of which is an eighteen-minute epic revolving around Greek mythology. Another is a nine minute instrumental. The other two? Just regular ol' three-to-four-minute songs with words. Oh, that wacky Rush.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The quiet part of "Prelude" begins the same time the camera pans down after the scroll fades away.

- As the Star Destroyer passes overhead, the bass thumps begin in "Prelude"; as soon as the camera cuts to the next angle, a frontside view of the Star Destroyer, the bass starts playing its regular part.

- The line "the struggle of the angels has begun" in "Prelude" coincides with shots of the droids and the Rebel soldiers aboard the Tantive IV reacting to the Imperial attack.

- As the Rebels crouch in the corridor awaiting the Imperial invasion, the line "people were divided, every soul a battlefied" is heard in "Prelude."

- Darth Vader's entrance coincides with the first lines of "Apollo," which are "I bring truth and understanding, I bring wit and wisdom fair" (which he really doesn't, but he probably thinks he does).

- A whooshing noise is heard in "Dionysus" as we see the escape pod door close.

- The opening lines of "Armageddon," which are "the universe divided as the heart and mind collided," coincide with Threepio kicking Artoo and deciding to go in a different direction.

- "Cygnus" begins about the time Artoo is shot by the Jawas.

- The gonging at the end of "Cygnus" sounds as Luke appears onscreen for the first time.

- The camera is on Artoo when we hear the line "a boy alone, so far from home" in "Circumstances."

- Right after Luke calls for Artoo to come with him, the line "all the same we take our chances" is heard in "Circumstances."

- The line "there is unrest in the forest" in "The Trees" coincides with a shot of Princess Leia's hologram.

- When the snare drum starts in "La Villa Strangiato," Luke and Threepio look around in the Jundland Wastes as if they can hear it.

- "La Villa Strangiato" gets louder at the same exact moment Luke zooms in on the two Banthas with his binoculars.

- The slow part of "La Villa Strangiato" begins as Luke wakes up and sees Obi-Wan.


This was an awesome experiment. I almost want to try it again because I feel like I may have missed some stuff here and there. I was so busy writing junk down, it was hard to keep my eyes glued to the screen.

Oh, and by the way, Rush-o-philes, I'm totally aware I accidentally swapped the order here, doing Hemispheres before 2112. No need to bombard me with angry e-mails.

I am also aware that I may have spelled "Bocchi" wrong. I don't speak it, so I'm not sure how to spell it.

Monday, April 10, 2006




Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Fly By Night, Rush's second album and their first featuring drum wizard Neil Peart. The addition of Peart reshaped the sound of the band, taking them from bluesy coked-out bar rock to progressive elf-themed garage rock. Surprisingly, this new formula brought the Canuck rockers a great deal of success. I can't understand it and I probably never will, so I just sit back and accept it.

As usual, I started this sucker right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "don't give me speeches" is heard in "Best I Can" as we see Darth Vader choking the Rebel soldier (who is attempting to give Vader a speech about the Tantive IV's alleged mission).

- As we see the escape pod rocketing towards Tatooine across a starfield, the line "sights on the stars" is heard in "Best I Can."

- "By-Tor & the Snow Dog" is playing when we see Gonk aboard the sandcrawler; the "growls" of the Snow Dog sound very similiar to the "gonk" noises Gonk makes during that scene.

- The line "you feel the coming of a new day" in "Rivendell" coincides with the first appearance of Obi-Wan Kenobi.


The experiment I give a three. The album, an eight. I was truly surprised at how much of it I enjoyed. Maybe Rush isn't so bad after all. At least Fly By Night, anyway. I might go out and buy this one, if I can get over my fear of owning an album with a white owl on the cover.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

La Villa Star Wars

Now this makes a little more sense. The GSWSP livin' at a URL that has Star Wars in the name. Now I know how Larry Dierker felt the first time he stepped on the field at the Astrodome.

Next week I'm doing Rush. It was Shane's suggestion, and he seems to think every single album of theirs will synch up with Star Wars a hundred times over. Let's hope he's right. Here's the way I'll work it (no diggity):

4/10: Fly By Night
4/11: Hemispheres
4/12: 2112
4/13: Permanenr Waves
4/14: Moving Pictures

The guy who lent me all these CDs claims he once read on a Rush message board that 2112 synchs up with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. If the sight of Gene Wilder didn't make me nauseous, I'd be down for trying that once.

Oh, I went there.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Here Comes Two Suns



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Abbey Road, the last album the Beatles recorded. Contains such memorable hits as "Come Together," "Something," and "Here Comes the Sun." Innovators right up to the end, this was the first record ever to utilize Dolby noise reduction. The clarity is amazing, especially on all those songs they didn't finish!

As usual, I started this sucker right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "I don't know, I don't know" is heard in "Something" as Darth Vader interrogates his choking victim (the soldier was saying something to the effect that he didn't know about any stolen data tapes).

- The line "we would be warm" in "Octopus's Garden" is heard as we see the stormtroopers searching the desert surface of Tatooine for the droids.

- Luke is watching Princess Leia's hologram as "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" is playing (during which he remarks upon her beauty, unaware that he's getting all hot and bothered about his own sister).

- The first line of "Here Comes the Sun," which is "here comes the sun," coincides with the first shot of the twin suns on Tatooine.

- The buzzing noise at the end of "You Never Give Me Your Money" coincides with Princess Leia's hologram appearing before Obi-Wan.

- The line "such a mean old man" is heard in "Mean Mr. Mustard" as Admiral Motti delivers says, "this station is now the ultimate power in the universe...I suggest we use it."

- The line "didn't anybody tell her?" is heard in "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window" as we see Leia's horrified reaction to the Death Star torture droid.

- Right after Obi-Wan puts an end to the cantina fracas, the line "and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make" is heard in "The End" (this is certainly true for Dr. Evanzan, the pig-faced guy who was bothering Luke moments before).


The "Here Comes the Sun" thing was the most impressive part, I thought.

You know what I read the other day that I thought was hilarious? One time, a reporter asked John Lennon if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world, to which John replied, "He's not even the best drummer in the Beatles!"

Apparently Paul McCartney subbed for Ringo on a few tracks, and John was way more impressed with the Walrus's prowess behind the kit. That or he was just taking a shot at Ringo. Either way, it's hilarious. Leave to ol' Johnny Lennon!

I bet that story makes Ringo sad. Don't be sad, Ringo. Go count your money and be happy.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Lucy in the Sky with Death Star



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the most influencial and important pop rock album ever made by anyone on any planet during any time period. The first "concept" album (real band invents fake band that does fake touring to bypass real touring). Iconic cover with tons of celebrity photos on it. Bad-ass clarinet action on "When I'm Sixty-Four." If I had to pick my favorite Beatles disc, this would probably be it.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "it was twenty years ago" in "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" coincides with the famous "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." text.

- The chorus of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is heard as we see the escape pod carrying the droids flying toward Tatooine (the droids are Lucy, they're in the sky, and the Death Star plans are the diamonds).

- During "Within You Without You," the line "you're only really very small" is heard as we see Princess Leia's hologram (which is really very small).

- The line "life goes on within without you" is heard in "Within You Without You" as Luke gets up and leaves the family table (from that moment, Luke's life within does go on without Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru).

- The groaning in "Lovely Rita" is heard as Luke comes to after the Tusken Raider attack.

- Obi-Wan is looking at Princess Leia's hologram as we hear the line "I saw the photograph" in "A Day in the Life"; right after he finishes watching it, the line "I saw a film today" is heard.


This experiment marks the first time anything has synched up with the "long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" text. That calls for a celebration. I'm cracking open a Zima as we speak.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Good Day Sand People



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Revolver, an album by the Beatles that has nothing to do with firearms. Supposedly the first record to feature backwards masking and automated double tracking. Definitely the first record to feature someone named Ringo singing about a submarine. Again, I'm working with the U.K. version here, so adjust your secret decoder rings accordingly.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The chorus of "Eleanor Rigby" starts out with Paul McCartney saying, "ah." One of these noises coincides with the mouth movements of a dying Rebel soldier aboard the Tantive IV.

- The line "please don't spoil my day" is heard in "I'm Only Sleeping" as we see Darth Vader choking the Rebel soldier (I imagine that guy was thinking something along those lines as Vader had his giant gloved hand around his neck).

- The line "wave of her hand" in "Here, There, and Everywhere" coincides with a shot of C-3PO waving his hands at the sandcrawler.

- The line "she doesn't know he's there" in "Here, There, and Everywhere" coincides with a shot of a Jawa spying on R2-D2.

- "Yellow Submarine" plays through the scenes where we see all the different robots inside the sandcrawler, and at one point we hear the lyric "and our friends are all aboard."

- The line "you're making me feel like I've never been born" in "She Said She Said" is heard as Artoo watches Threepio leave the Jawa auction without him.

- "Good Day Sunshine" starts Artoo starts wobbling his way over to Threepio and Luke after R5-D4 explodes.

- "Got to Get You Into My Life" starts as Obi-Wan comes across Luke in the Jundland Wastes.


Some interesting things, but not enough to warrant writing Sir Paul. Speaking of which, did I ever tell you about my friend in high school who wrote a letter to Paul McCartney to try and convince him to open a rock n' roll fantasy camp? If I were smart, I would have stolen that letter before he sent it and photocopied it for posterity. It was just classic.

"Dear Mr. McCartney, you are a musical genius. I think you should open a rock n' roll fantasy camp so we can all learn the secrets to writing great songs. Here's fifteen zillion reasons why..."

I only wrote and mailed a couple fan letters in my life. One was to Jose Canseco, but it was returned because he had moved (or at least the office that accepted his fan mail had moved). I don't even remember what I wrote in that one. I think I was just hoping to get some little glossy postcards of the Can Man like the ones the New York Mets had sent me of Kevin Elster and Mackey Sasser.

The other fan letter I remember is one I wrote to "Weird Al." Unfortunately, his "Close, Personal Friends of Al" club was defunct at that time, so I never got a reply. Strangely, I was okay with this. At the time, I didn't feel "Weird Al" or musicians in general had a responsibility to please their fans like baseball players did. Nowadays, it's the exact opposite - it blows my mind when a famous music person shits on their fans, whereas I kind of expect ball players to be total jerks.

That reminds me...I wrote about ten separate letters to Nintendo Power when I was a kid, and although they never printed any of them, they always sent me a personal response. No form letter action from those guys/gals. That was really cool, I thought. Rats off to ya, Nintendo Power!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Drive My Corellian Corvette



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Rubber Soul, the first Beatles record that hinted the Fab Four were going in a different direction than Gerry & the Pacemakers. A little less jangly-jangly and a little more introspection. Hits from this record include "Drive My Car," "Nowhere Man," and "Michelle." This is the U.K. version I'm using, if that means anything to ya.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- The line "I looked around" in "Norwegian Wood" coincides with a shot of C-3PO looking around, trying to figure out what the noises outside the Tantive IV are.

- "You Won't See Me" begins as Darth Vader makes his first appearance (we won't see him - his face, anyway).

- The line "I don't have much to say" in "You Won't See Me" is heard as we see the Rebel soldier being choked by Vader.

- "Nowhere Man" begins at the exact moment the film cuts to Vader during his argument with Princess Leia aboard the Tantive IV.

- The line "nowhere man, please listen" in "Nowhere Man" is heard as we see Vader listening to an Imperial soldier talk about the escape pod.

- R2-D2 starts to roll away from C-3PO on the surface of Tatooine as the line "knows not where he's going to" is heard in "Nowhere Man."

- The line "got a word or two about the things you do" is heard in "Think For Yourself" as Threepio complains about Artoo "tricking" him.

- The line "think for yourself, I won't be there for you" is heard in "Think For Yourself" as we see Artoo rolling alone through the canyon.

- Luke is staring into the suns as we hear the line "why, tell me why did you not treat me right" in "I'm Looking Through You" (presumably this is what he's thinking about his Uncle Owen).

- The line "had you come another day, it might not have been like this" is heard in "If I Needed Someone" as we see Threepio lying in pieces on the ground.


Exploded out of the gate and died halfway through the race. That's alright, though, because the first quarter was tits. That "look around" part was creepy as hell, and all the stuff in "Nowhere Man" and "Think For Yourself" was off the hook. Worth the price of admission.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Please Please Me (I'm Uncle Owen)



Star Wars (1995 "Faces" VHS).


Please Please Me by the Beatles. Their debut record (released in America as Introducing... The Beatles). Nearly every single song is about stupid gross girls and being in yucky love with them. "I Saw Her Standing There," "Love Me Do," "P.S. I Love You," "Please Please Me," etc. What a bunch of saps. Didn't anyone ever tell these guys love is not for real and the girls who tell you they love you at Wal-Mart are completely full of it? I guess not.

As usual, I started the album right after the second drumroll in the 20th Century Fox fanfare.


- "Misery" plays during the Imperial invasion.

- The phrase "set you free, girl" in "Anna (Go to Him)" is heard as Princess Leia is seen with R2-D2 (who is directly responsible for setting her free - if you don't believe me, watch the rest of the movie, ya hump!).

- The last chorus of "go with him" in "Anna (Go to Him)" is heard as Princess Leia stops in front of Darth Vader (who she reluctantly has to go with).

- The line "my baby's got me locked up in chains" in "Chains" is heard as Princess Leia is handcuffed in front of Vader.

- The word "blue" is heard twice in "Ask Me Why"; both times, the camera is close on R2-D2 and we can see his numerous blue parts very clearly.

- Threepio hits Artoo on the dome at the same exact moment we hear a "c'mon" in "Please Please Me."


There used to be this oldies station in Orlando called Cool 105.9 that would only play Beatles songs from this record. The one exception was "Drive My Car," which they would bust out every day at rush hour for the "Five O'Clock Traffic Jam" or whatever the hell it was called. I could hear the ghosts of 105.9's deejays in the back of my mind during this experiment, yammering on and on inbetween songs like they used oh so many years ago.

Not that they're all literally dead, mind you. Cool FM wasn't wiped out by a freak asteroid or a carbon monoxide leak; they just moved around on the dial until they became a Latin station a couple of years ago. All the super-jazzed oldies deejays faded away, and now they only exist in my memory. Oh, one or two of them might actually be dead, doomed to haunt the fourth floor restroom in the Orlando Clear Channel building until Herman's Hermits are back in regular rotation, but I bet the majority either retired or moved to satellite.

That's the thing about being an oldies deejay - you're pretty much expected to work well into your sixties, possibly even your seventies. The older you are, the better. Expiring on air is a real possibility. It's the complete opposite of modern rock radio. Hey, I'm all for it. The geezers need to have their freak-outs, too. I'll raise my fist for Cousin Brucie any day.

Oh, Cousin Brucie. My mom hates that guy. Which is funny, because my dad loves him. If my folks ever get divorced, that's going to come up at some point in the proceedings. My mother will cite excessive adoration of New York radio personality Cousin Brucie as a reason for marital dischord. They may even call him to testify. I wonder if that's ever happened before. A marraige breaking up because of an oldies deejay.

Screamin' Steve says stay tuned, kids, and find out! YEEOOWW!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

I Wanna Hold Your Han

This week, those lovable mop-tops the Beatles invade the GSWSP. They're so lovable, those mop-tops! Why, they're absolutely fab! All four of them! I just can't imagine anyone not liking them.

The Magical Mystery Tour is going to go something like this:

4/03 - Please Please Me
4/04 - Rubber Soul
4/05 - Revolver
4/06 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
4/07 - Abbey Road

Once again, all with Star Wars. Empire and Jedi must feel so unloved. I'll have to make it up to them soon. Maybe I'll take 'em to Strawberry Fields.

Yeah, right, like I'm going to pay $160 for a roundtrip ticket to New York City, God knows how much for a hotel room in midtown, just so I can take two video cassettes to Strawberry Fields? That's not happening. If they're lucky, I'll treat them both to ice cream after work on Thursday.

Sigh. No one told me raising three video cassettes on my own was going to be so hard. Sometimes I wish I hadn't been so stupid in my youth. I should have worn protection when I made the transition from BETA to VHS.